hello everyone! i was hoping to get some thoughts on a slightly peculiar situation i find myself in. thanks a bunch for reading!
long story short, i currently go to one of the western mass five college consortium schools and recently applied as a transfer to amherst college and was denied (i’ve made posts about this with some more details in the transfer and amherst threads). i’ve taken some courses at amherst this past year and really loved it; it was definitely a first-or-second choice in my list of colleges. on my mid-term report, my amherst professors wrote such kind, heartwarming comments, and my amherst professor from this past fall semester actually wrote one of my recommendations. they all know me as a student and individual and they’ve expressed so much enthusiasm about my applying there (as have i).
so now i get to tell them that despite doing well in their classes, loving being part of the community, and even getting a letter of recommendation from one of them, i was rejected–not even waitlisted. in a couple of days, i’m meeting with my fall semester professor and one of my spring semester professors (it’s a final project type meeting but it’ll double as a nice chance to say goodbye at the end of the year) before leaving for the summer, and my other professor this past semester told me to keep in touch and send an update about the transfer decision (which i was planning to do via email).
how do i go about discussing this with them? they’re aware that i was really passionate about amherst. do u think there are specific steps i could take to make it the least painful or awkward possible? is it even all right for me to share that i was flat out rejected? i feel like it would be, because they know how i felt about amherst. they might also already know that transfer decisions came out. and if i couldn’t even get waitlisted for the school of an instructor from whom i obtained a recommendation letter, i probably have very slim chances of getting in anywhere else so it’s not like i might need to make some tremendously difficult miraculous decision between amherst and another great school (and even if i had, i think it would have taken A LOT for me to choose another school without regrets and second-guessing). i don’t think there would be a point to beat around the bush… it’s just disappointing and embarrassing.
i was also thinking of getting them small thank-you gifts. i feel that i’ve grown tremendously this year, discovering new interests and passions and realizing more closely my big-picture goals and aspirations, and i credit so much of that to their courses and their encouragements. i’m definitely getting something for my recommender, but should i give my other professors gifts as well? i’ve read some posts here that say that it’s usually unnecessary and that one should at least wait till final grades are in; i’m doing very well in the course of the professor i will get to see before leaving, so i thought it might be okay if i wanted to give a small gift during our meeting. for the professor i won’t get to see before leaving, i could mail it to their office at the beginning of summer? or would all of that be too much and overdoing things, especially since i didn’t get into their school? one of my professors and my recommender are also in the same department, so maybe there could also be a possibility of the subject of my gifts being brought up as casual conversation, making it a bit risky? i wouldn’t want them to feel one gift was better than the other or anything like that. they’ve all been so wonderful and i just hope to show my gratitude in one way or another.
any insights would be appreciated. thank u so much for reading this long post!