<p>I second the idea of a gap year. Even back in the dark ages when I was in college a gap year was very helpful. I didn’t do one, but two of my close friends did and it really made a difference for them. After taking a year off (not to do anything fancy like kids do now, but to work and save some money for college) they were both much more focused and ready to be in a college environment.</p>
<p>In your daughter’s case, a gap year would give her more time to investigate schools and put together a list of schools that she is really excited about. With her stats she would be a strong candidate for merit aid. We’ve found that a number of schools offer the best merit aid to the students who apply early in the process (not to be confused with early decision). </p>
<p>If I were in your shoes, I’d be concerned that her reluctance to apply to more than two schools may signal that she isn’t ready to go away yet. There is nothing wrong with that at all, in fact, I was hoping that my daughter would take a year off since she has a summer birthday and is on the young side. But my D. thought I was absolutely nuts when I proposed it. Sigh…</p>
<p>Interesting idea. I had a “gap” year myself that served two purposes - allowing me to establish residency in TX after graduating HS in Mass., and allowing me to “mature” another year since I graduated two yrs. early from HS… I think it actually helped quite a bit and after working in a sandwich shop in N. Dallas for a year, I was more motivated than ever to get back in school. </p>
<p>However, I’m not sure at the moment what that would mean with respect to her scholarship offer…</p>
<p>“and put together a list of schools that she is really excited about…”</p>
<p>LOL. You obviously haven’t met my daughter. I’d love her to get “excited” about anything… ha, ha.</p>
<p>“I’d be concerned that her reluctance to apply to more than two schools may signal that she isn’t ready to go away yet…”</p>
<p>I think that’s part of it. Moving her from one HS to another between her Soph. and Junior years didn’t help either. She’s had a tough time making any friends at all in the past year and a half… I get the impression she’s just “waiting out” the rest of HS (and has been since we moved here last year)…</p>
<p>Like your daughter, I suspect mine would give me a crazy look if I suggested she sit out and work a year. But I may suggest it anyway, just to see her reaction.</p>
<p>I guess I should reiterate that I don’t necessarily see TSU as “limiting” as some folks would. My sister-in-law has done exceptionally well for herself after earning a BS in biology from TSU. She is an assoc. prof. at Emory U. nowdays… </p>
<p>Agree that a gap year is a great idea. It should be as a growth experience and for the benefit of exploring opportunities away from home where she can test her wings. Some kids are more independent by nature, and some need to learn to function independently outside of an environment where they may possibly have felt dominated by a controlling parent. (Not saying she feels this way-- just saying she might. Please don’t get defensive.)</p>
<p>And as an aside, you asked if you had called posters names, John. Yes, you have. This
is an example. You and anyone else is welcome on cc. In fact, many posters welcomed you. However, when you say things like that, or claim cc is just a big “elite clique”, that, too, is name-calling, whether you think so or not. Be respectful and you will get respect in return. No need to justify or rationalize the rhetoric (or claim to be an innocent victim). Just please don’t be confrontational, and you won’t get it back in your face.</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d let your D choose, and send her happily off to the TSU Honors college. She will either like it or she won’t. If you talk to parents of current college sophomores and juniors, you’ll be amazed at how many of the students aren’t at their original schools. </p>
<p>My son only looked at small schools (e.g. Trinity and SU). Coming from a large state school background, I was honestly horrified at the tiny campuses and the neighborhoods in which there were located. (Where is the movie theatre? Where are the bars?) But I kept quiet and Son chose one of those tiny schools for the “fit.” I certainly wasn’t going to force him into a larger environment, just like you probalby wouldn’t be wise to force your D into a smaller environment.</p>
<p>If you’re ever in the neighborhood, or if your D expresses a desire to transfer, you might want to look at University of Tulsa. It’s a relatively small school, but the campus feels large, and they have DI football and nice facilities.</p>
<p>jym- He has you and me on “ignore” ( ) so, he won’t be reading your post.</p>
<p>Missypie is probably right- she might as well give TSU a try. I just think there are so many better fits, Tulsa certainly being one of them (and away from home, which is a plus).</p>
<p>John - I am in the camp of Missypie - letting your daughter choose and have her happily go off to TSU (perhaps taking advantage of their honors college).</p>
<p>I would ignore those who say they think there are better fits. First off, they do not know your daughter so how do they know what is or is not a better fit. Second, there are tons of students with good stats who choose non name prestige schools for a host of reasons, and love the experience and do well. Not every child wants to go out and reach for the stars. Some are quite happy being solid workhorses and being in an environment that supports them as such.</p>
<p>At the private school I work at, we make it a point to make sure students really focus on finding the college that is the right fit for them - not for someone else and certainly not for what some starnger posting on an internet message board thinks is right for them.</p>
<p>Your daughter by her actions is telling you she wants to stay close to home and she thinks she would fit well at TSU or UT (as compared to inner city Rice ). I would embrace her decision and help her make the most of the expereinces at TSU by encouraging her to explore the honors college </p>
<p>I really don’t think I would consider a gap year based on what you posted. I don’t get from what you posted a lack of maturity on your d’s part. Rather, some students simply like to stay close to home (just like there are others who want to go to college as far away from home as possible). That doesn’t make someone immature or sheletered as MOWC has incorrectly alluded to. It simply means that is a factor important to your daughter.</p>
<p>Actually I have seen people do more harm pushing their child into a more of a reach for the stars school based on some SAT scores - and ignoring what is really important to the student themselves. Being pushed to go somewhere others may perceive as “better” doesn’t always end up with a good result. Every student is different and as such, have different things that are important to them. I would caution not trying to change those or sway your D like some here would have you do.</p>
<p>I don’t mean to be contentious, but would like to respectfully remind John that when he posted his first thread about options for his academically talented daughter, many posters, including those he’s jabbed elbows with, provided multiple helpful, sincere, thoughtful posts, in the best CC tradition. There’ve been many such posts on this thread, as well.</p>
<p>Without bumping that original thread, since I realize John’s d is no longer looking for options, I’m curious as to whether University of Dallas was ever considered? A highly respected Jesuit school, it’s a regional university with very strong programs that offers merit aid and has a really talented student body (I believe the third highest average SAT in Texas). My kids did summer study travel programs through UD and had exceptional experiences, particularly regarding the quality of the faculty. Their merit aid deadline is 1/15, but in case John’s d doesn’t have enough to do this week … I believe they accept the common app.</p>
<p>Frazzled, I didn’t think that was contentious post at all. Thanks for the suggestions…</p>
<p>She didn’t express any interest in attending school much further than 2 hours from home. I reminded her that with my career, “home” may be in another state in a few years… But we’re expecting to be around here until her brother graduates from HS, and that should be about the time she completes undergrad (she’ll be starting with about 18 hrs. behind her already), so she’s expecting us to be close-by…</p>
<p>One of the nice things about moving to the area we’re in now is that we are within 2 hrs. drive of many great schools. I can’t think of too many places in the central U.S. that have access to at least 10 4-year schools within 2 hrs drive. So we’ve been looking at all of those schools. Seems to be what she’s comfortable with, and frankly, was one reason we decided to leave Southern Illinois. She didn’t particularly want to attend SIU (she was pretty familiar with that campus too) and there just aren’t any other good options in that area nearby…</p>
<p>So, we talked about a lot of colleges both within and outside of Texas. But she kept coming back to those nearby. I was very pleased that we could take her to visit Rice, Trinity and Southwestern so she could at least have an idea of what those schools looked and “felt” like. Maybe she will decide to transfer to one of those schools later? Who knows… </p>
<p>I guess it’s my “fault” that she doesn’t seek prestige. I’m certain her mom and I rubbed off on here there. Neither of us care much for status or name-dropping or whatever. We just enjoy our middle-class existence, time with friends and family, and contributing the best we can without stressing ourselves or our kids out. I personally enjoy the company of average folks, smart folks and those less fortunate all the same. I know she does too. To some, that probably sounds like underachieving, but to us, that’s enjoying life as it comes and not missing the trees for the forest - so to speak - .</p>
<p>I think this is being disingenuous. Wanting an excellent education for your really-bright and talented daughter – which might include schools that aren’t necessarily those in the immediate area and might entail casting a wide net – doesn’t mean chasing “status” or “name-dropping.” I think you may need to come to terms with the fact that the better schools do have more status, but that status isn’t the sum total of what they have that’s better than third-tier schools. </p>
<p>Look at it this way. What if everyone on here had said, “We think your daughter would thrive and do nicely at Princeton, Amherst, whatever elite school.” Would you have just assumed that it was a prestige / status drive, or a sincere understanding that elite schools do provide a certain atmosphere best suited to a serious student like herself?</p>
<p>You’re patting yourself on the back a little too much with the “personally enjoy the company of average folks, smart folks and those less fortunate all the same.” Nothing about going to a top school precludes someone from hanging out with people of all stripes and socioeconomic backgrounds and doing “average” things. I think you have a bit of a chip about what you perceive as the snobbiness of “better schools” and I think you have to get over that, to allow your D a fair chance to evaluate them appropriately.</p>
<p>Okay, now I understand why I totally get your “non-status seeking” mindset. I grew up in southern Illinois. Spent 23 years there.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Now back in the day, SIU Carbondale was the biggest party school of which I was aware. My parents would not have allowed me to go there due to the reputation. I did live there one summer to go to grad school and my my was it ever fun!</p>
<p>You know, even people in southern Illinois know that Wash U – the closest elite school – is a well-regarded school. Do they really think that anyone who goes there is uppity? Well, then, that’s why that part of the state is heading nowhere, fast.</p>
<p>Look. The fact is that the U.S. has certainly become a little too “status conscious” for my tastes. You hear the whispered conversations in the waiting rooms ( "MY son was accepted to … ") Well big deal. I believe it’s what you DO with the information you have, not where you got it. There are plenty of high achievers from elite colleges who have helped society, but when you come down from the 30,000-foot view and look at what happens in your local neighborhood, it’s just as important for many folks to get good service at the DMV, have a well-managed grocery store, perhaps a local newspaper that serves its community, or a local hospital that can help diagnose an early stage of cancer. </p>
<p>I believe that some (not all, but some) here tend to forget the trees because they are so caught up in who’s forest is bigger… I’m just saying that’s not me, or my wife. And I guess because of that, our daughter hasn’t been “taught” that some schools are more prestigious than others. In fact, we never talk about “prestige” when we discuss colleges. To me, that would be sending the wrong message to my daughter…</p>
<p>Look, I don’t want this to get into another pi$$ing contest about status and “tier whatever” colleges… So let’s just drop that part of the discussion. Okay? </p>
<p>One reason I finally had to add some folks to my “ignore” list was that they seemed obsessed with arguing status and prestige while all I wanted from this thread was some good information about one of our local state universities… If I wanted to discuss where that school “fit” in the “teirs” or the minds of the CC members, I would have asked that question instead.</p>
<p>And that slam on Southern Illinois was unwarranted IMO. Our experience there was nothing short of wonderful. We lived in a small town near Carbondale, and we developed life-long friendships with many great people there. While I didn’t care for some of the things there, there were many more positive aspects of the area than negative. And yes, we were fully aware of Washington U. and my daughter was interested for a while in that school. We used to take the kids to the St. Louis zoo and the science center in Forest park all the time, and we would swing through Washington U. for my daughter’s benefit quite often. We were also familiar with Murray State in KY, and took her through that campus before we left there…</p>
<p>And no, for the life of me I can’t understand why my daughter thinks Washington U. and UT are somehow “okay” but Rice is too “inner city.” I think my exact reply to that comment was something like… “HUH?” I mentioned to her that both Washington U. and UT were also in the middle of pretty good sized cities, but she said “it just feels all closed in” when we were at Rice. Go figure…</p>
<p>Anyway, now back to our regularly programmed discussion about “TSU.” ;)</p>
<p>Yea, that was great. 17th street bbq opened up a new, modern restaurant in Marion, right next to the (wait for it…) new Minor-league baseball stadium! </p>
<p>Between some of those things, and the growth and improvement to John A. Logan college in our little town, I wonder sometimes why we left there…</p>
<p>Oh yea, because it’s a wonderful place to live… for 7 months each year! LOL!..</p>
<p>Yea, Southern Illinois is really a well kept secret. I think half the time the locals play up the “redneck” act just so the Northern Illinoisans will go back to Chicago… ha, ha.</p>
<p>Anyways, not from there, but we remember those 6 years there very fondly. Now that we’re back in our “home” state, some things sure are different. It’s amazing what a 10 year break can do to your perspective…</p>
<p>I’m guessing that others have proposed the Texas Colleges That Change Lives, and for all I know John’s D has toured them, but I’ll bring 'em up again. Southwestern’s application deadline is Feb 1, Austin College’s deadline is March 1, so there’s time. These are schools that pride themselves on nurturing and supporting young people. There’s need-based and merit-based aid. Given John’s D’s stats, she would be a definite contender for money from both schools. They might well be a better fit than the honors college at a big state school. Or not, only the kid knows what she wants.</p>
<p>Yup, Southwestern came up in an earlier thread I started, looking for some help… I had heard about it, but never knew much about it before… Turns out, one of my co-worker’s sons attended there. Had very good things to say about it…</p>
<p>I took the daughter by there last fall and we had a quick look around. I say quick because the campus is so small you could practically throw a rock across it. She and I were both very surprised. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a “real” college campus that small before… </p>
<p>I thought she should apply to Southwestern, Rice and Trinity. Told her so many times. Has she? Nope…</p>
<p>Mom and I “brow beat” her enough last weekend to get her to agree to apply to Trinity. She agreed, since at least we had spent 1/2 hour talking to the head of their Anthro. dept. last fall…</p>
<p>So I guess at this rate, with her lack of participation and interest, if she ends up going to TSU on a scholarship, it’s not going to hurt our feelings any… For starters, it will get her out of the house! LOL! But really, I think that even a year or two there would help her understand what she wants a little more, and help her get used to the idea of being on her own…</p>
<p>Isn’t if funny how different kids can be? Her freshman brother is talking about colleges 5x as much as she is, and asking a lot of questions already… Should be interesting to see what he decides to do.</p>
<p>my D doesn’t like to be the biggest fish in the small pond. in fact she HATES being in classes with a bunch of slackers. if this is your D, then you may want to rethink TSU. not that all kids there are slackers, but there will def. be some … or many. being in honors will help, though.</p>
<p>at this point i say go with the money. D hasn’t shown much interest otherwise and UT might eat her alive. the money is there now. it probably won’t be if she wants to transfer there next year (most big $$ is for incoming freshman).</p>
<p>she likely wont get much $$ from UT.</p>
<p>you might be able to find out likely $$ at southwestern or trinity from their websites. but it is getting to be almost too late for more applications.</p>
<p>i do not have personal experience with TSU. i know it was the biggest party school when i was in college (at A&M). i think a couple of others may have overtaken it in recent years in the party school ranking (UTSA and TECH - in texas). i can say that none of the kids i know that are going there now are particularly bright. mostly kids that wanted to go somewhere else (UT/A&M) but didn’t get in. one got blinn team at a&m (so was at the bottom of the A&M barrell).</p>
<p>people i know that went there (my age or so). one is unemployed at the moment (was as slacker druggie kid in high school) has had jobs in insurance and offsite accounting - nothing special. another is a schemer in a MLM (he was in honors, though).</p>
<p>so you can just go with the scholarship and see how it works out. if it doesn’t work that well, then she can transfer and you will still have something left in your college cookie jar.</p>
) so, he won’t be reading your post.</p>