<p>I think there are many situations where thank you notes make sense. We never considered thanking tour guides. We did “thank” an admissions clerk at one college. She really went out of her way to help my D. We did not send her a thank you. We sent it to the director of admissions. If you are an employee, a letter of appreciation to your boss is a lot more valuable than a letter you receive. </p>
<p>My D always thanked alumni interviewers. Many months later she even followed up with an email to the interviewer for the college she accepted. This is just a courtesy for their time and interest.</p>
<p>Some thank yous were sent as part of an admissions strategy. College tours are the least important part of a college visit. For almost every visit, my D had pre-scheduled interviews setup with admissions and with department heads or faculty members. These were followed up with a brief emailed thank you.</p>
<p>For those of you who still believe in the handwritten thank you, I can only say God bless. What planet are you living on? I throw printed mail in the trash as fast as possible and I am certainly not going to spend much of my time trying to decipher some handwritten note. I keep emails - almost forever. Plus it is very easy to forward an email. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a faculty member forward a copy of such an email to the admission director along with a recommendation for admission? We know this happened for my D. This strategy may not work at the Ivies, but it works almost everywhere else, even for those colleges who officially claim not to consider interviews as part of the admissions decision. Adcoms spend a great deal of time trying to learn about applicants by reading essays and letters of rec. A personal encounter can be even more valuable. Of course, this only works if you kid is reasonably mature, confident and able to communicate with adults when stressed. If not, it might be more valuable to work on those skills instead of spending time to study and take the SATs for the third time.</p>
<p>I see no instance when a gift is appropriate. Even a token bribe sends the wrong message.</p>