I know everyone says to be sure your S or D writes thank you notes and I do believe it is good etiquette. However, I was curious if anyone knows whether or not this really makes a difference.
Put it this way, can it hurt?
Probably not, but as you say, it’s good manners.
Not everyone says to write thank you notes. My kids mostly did not, with one or two exceptions.
Do we thank the admissions committee with a thank you note for taking the time to read our general application? “Dear John and Mary of the Elite College Admissions Committee: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my admissions package that I paid $75 for you to read! It was such a great experience writing my application. I especially loved the opportunity to write three additional essays on top of the two ones I already wrote…” etc.
Just as for Admissions, we are paying hefty fees for the audition part of the package, not to mention the expense of going there.
I think part of what makes this confusing is the overlap with auditioning in the ‘real world.’ But the real world isn’t college.
All that said, I don’t see the harm in writing a handwritten note. Just be sure it’s sincere and isn’t obviously written by the parent or dictated by the parent (not that anyone here would do that, but I can see it might be tempting given all the stress!).
It’s really impossible to tell if it makes a difference though as you can’t have two different applications, one with thank you notes, and one without!
I love the letter to the admissions committee @connections !
My D wrote no notes. Didn’t seem to negatively impact her.
I cannot imagine a situation where the existence of a thank you note (or non existence of one) changes the result for an applicant. But - I suppose a case could be made that it might remind the adjudicator of the kid…who knows.
At Coastal Carolina, we personally love them. I wouldn’t say that they can change the outcome, but they absolutely cannot hurt. If you pass the prescreen and then choose to audition on campus, that shows a huge amount of dedication and interest in our program. And we have spent a lot of time with you. I will say that (in the past) when we have received letters from students in Chicago, it does help us remember them more clearly and shows their interest on a more serious level.
@AlexaMT, Coastal Carolina was one of the exceptions I was referring to. My D spent all day there on campus and the director personally talked with me and the parents for many hours as we all hung out waiting for our kids to finish. (I actually met you! May I say you are as delightful, vibrant, and generous in person as you are online!). My D had the most wonderful day and thought a thank you note appropriate in that case.
Dare I say Coastal Carolina is the south- where thank you notes play a larger role
My daughter wrote thank you notes to all who she auditioned with. She continues to write thank yous to all directors, cast members and crew for every show she does. She is always truly thankful for her opportunities and feels like she needs to acknowledge the people around her that make her experiences so fulfilling.
Students who send thank you notes stand out. If someone is on the waitlist and we have received a follow-up that mentions some variation of “you are at the top of my list,” we keep that in mind. We would rather move a student off of the waitlist who we believe is likely to come than a student we have not heard from since the audition. All schools have to narrow down hundreds of applicants to 10-20 and we all know those 10-20 are looking at other schools. When we know a student is really interested in us, it can make a difference.
~VT
In response to @connections: Wow- thank you! 
Made my night.