<p>Anyone willing to share your experience of the big day--taking your child to bs?</p>
<p>This is from memory 3 years ago, so it may not be exact at this point. It’s what happened at Blair.</p>
<p>First, there was a registration with all the forms, etc. At that point, parents and student met the monitor who was to be the academic advisor for the year. The regular advisor is different and selected by the students in the first 6 weeks. Next, off to buy books and supplies. While still reeling from the sticker shock of textbooks, it’s move-in time at the dorm. </p>
<p>Lunch was served, and after lunch the parents and student go their separate ways, if the student isn’t already eating with the new roommate. There was a dorm orientation for the parents to meet the Dorm Master and all other adults involved in the dorm. After that, there was a parent assembly with the Headmaster and others that included students doing comedy routines about the kinds of communications (or lack thereof) parents might experience, and what to do if there are any concerns. At the end, there was a reception at the Headmasters House for new and current parents. Then it was time to leave without catching another look at my child.</p>
<p>There were long periods of silence back in the car.</p>
<p>Truly a watershed moment…for my S – he was so happy and excited, and my husband and I were a pile of nerves, physically and emotionally drained (there’s quite a lot of unpacking to do, buying books at bookstore, registration, informational sessions for parents and students, meeting advisors and deans). But by the end of the day, my S was pushing us out of the room to get dressed for their first official assembly, and special ceremony where they sign the honor code; he was so thrilled with his room mate, and I left with a smile knowing that he was in good hands (only to break down later that evening). But I won’t lie, it was very difficult to get used to him being away, particularly the first 3 or 4 weeks. It gets easier over time, but I’m counting down the days until summer when he’s home again :).</p>
<p>Just saw your post Burbparent: “There were long periods of silence back in the car” – ditto!</p>
<p>I am already crying and it is still 4 months away!</p>
<p>Many boarding school parents find that relationships improve, and parents and children appreciate each other more.</p>
<p>It is a short school year with two 3-week vacations. A school with Saturday classes has an even shorter school year. While it may be hard to believe, time will pass quickly after you make your initial adjustment.</p>
<p>My daughter and I flew up from Florida with four suitcases. I had sent her linens before our arrival. Quick registration and receipt of course schedule. We immediately set off to purchase books because I wanted to save money and buy as many used books as possible. Met her roommate and family. The girls set off to work out who got which bed, cupboard and desk. It was a very, very hot day. I live in Florida and visit family and Yucatan, but I was not accustomed to the CT heat without a fan or air conditioning. We mistakenly thought that we could pick up a fan in the nearby town, but they were sold out and none were being ordered as the store was saving space for heaters. I met my daughter’s adviser, and by three o’clock the parents were asked to leave. I stopped by the next morning for a quick hug and I cried for the hour and half drive to the airport. Communication with my daughter was scarce, as she was thrilled and totally engrossed in her new life. No homesickness, whatsoever. I flew up a couple of weeks later (my friend had a ticket she couldn’t use) for a quick visit. My daughter was thriving! It took me awhile to get used to her absence. Her communication skills have improved! BS has been great for her.</p>
<p>Well…I remember crying on the drive home. :'(</p>
<p>Very nice post, tzeme! Where is your D in school? We live in Fla and my son is enrolling in ninth in Ct.</p>
<p>My daughter is in 9th grade at Kent.</p>
<p>My son will be enrolling in ninth at Kent!!!</p>
<p>tzeme, off subject but how did you get used books?</p>
<p>Last year, at Kent, the financial aid students had first dibs at the used books. We are FP and we were still able to purchase all my daughter’s books used (with the exception of one paperback). After the first year, I don’t know if there is any swapping of books amongst the students at the end of the year. We have learned bits and pieces as the year progresses!</p>
<p>When we brought my son to bs, as a repeat jr, we had to go to the registration area. As we were new and didn’t know the campus, a student guide was assigned to us. She was beautiful and very friendly to my son. They ended up dating for several months.</p>
<p>On the way home, I remember thinking bs would be a great opportunity for him and being excited about his new adventure. Now my daughter is a different story. The ride home will be hell.
zp</p>
<p>It was a very intense day! I could tell that my daughter, who is never nervous, was nervous. Registration went quickly, then signing up for a bank account, then to the dorm to get set up and meet the roommate and her parents. It was a very hot September day-90s. Then a quick lunch for all hands, next an all school meeting in the chapel that was very well done with a talk by the Head of School, various deans and the student body president, who was the best speaker of all and very funny! Sounded like a British MP! The talks anticipated, from a lot of experience I suppose, all the parents’ fears and anxieties and soothed them without attempting to diminish or sugar coat that there were indeed pluses and minuses to leaving your beloved child at boarding school. After the all school meeting our daughter left to join her new classmates and that’s the last we saw of her till parents day many weeks later! There was then a smaller meeting with our daughter’s cluster dean-and then we were cordially invited to leave and were on our way home. It was a sad and joyous day all at the same time. Looking back we have no regrets-but there are pluses and minuses. The pluses win in our experience, hands down.</p>
<p>The first time I dropped S off I cried, he cried. The school where he is currently has a wonderful tradition: its called the shoe race. All kids take off their shoes and the faculty throw the shoes all over the football fields in golf carts. The boys have to pair up with his roomie and try to find their shoes. The dorm that gets all their shoes first wins. After that its bye bye mom.
This year when I dropped him off it was early d/t leadership stuff. He forgot to say bye because he was so busy catching up with his pals. That time I cried because he forgot me!
So, it does get easier. Just wear waterproof mascara.</p>
<p>IF there is anyway to lay hands on the class schedule, try to get to the on campus book store asap - before the post registration crush. Used books go first. Think of it as a gentile, prep version of Filene’s Basement bridal sale. </p>
<p>You are going to faint at the cost of some of the tests. And every time a new edition comes out, the old one is unsellable.</p>
<p>For us cross country and international families, there was a banquet Friday night before the official arrival the next morning. It was a great way to establish some new connections and share jangled nerves. </p>
<p>My son (who is not easily made nervous) was quieter than usual Saturday morning. Still, he seemed ready for the experience of living 3000 miles from home. Thacher assigns a senior to each freshman, which is a wonderful system for getting the newbies comfortable on campus, making sure they get to their rooms and bookstore without incident etc. I’ll never forget the senior telling him that the most important thing to remember was using free time during the day to get homework done. That turned out to be the perfect advice at just the right moment from just the right person.</p>
<p>We helped him set-up his room a little bit, but he pretty much wanted us out of there. We listened to an excellent speech (parents only) given by the Head of School, which put everyone at ease.</p>
<p>My wife and I said goodbye to him shortly thereafter, no tears from her thank God. Next we knew, we were driving away - silently. Went out for dinner and a couple of much-needed drinks. Leaving your child behind to start something on his or her own, especially a child who has been such a huge and great part of your family, is tough to do. But, it was the best decision we ever made.</p>
<p>Reading these posts brings tears to my eyes.</p>
<p>Our experience was hectic too. It’s an overwhelming day. Arrived on campus, the first problem is finding a place to park, the second is figuring out where to go for registration. Met a girl at registration who was very helpful and was in our d’s dorm so she helped us after that. I don’t think it was an accident that helpful girls and boys are standing around. After registration d was sent over to security for a photo for her id - little did any of us know that this is also the yearbook photo and website photo. On a hot sweaty day when you are totally stressed out they take your yearbook picture.</p>
<p>Then off to the post office to find her mailbox and see if she can open it. She needed help with that and there was that nice girl again who helped. Then we went and found the dorm, met the roommate and her mother who was engrossed in remodeling the room. Then we went over to the bookstore, bought books and fun stuff, it was packed - and hot. Then back to the dorm, left d there and went to parents assembly. Assembly was nice and good advice was given on homesickness and how and when it is best to contact your child. Then back to the dorm, d was not there, so we went to the ice cream social and found her. We also went to a parents thing at the library which was nice. It was nice to meet other parents. Then back to the dorm for a dorm meeting where we met her advisor. We also managed to go to Walmart during all of that although I don’t remember now when we went. It was a crazy day.</p>
<p>We spent a week in NE touring colleges with our older child and then went back to check on d at Exeter and see how she was holding up. That was a little more emotional, she was having trouble getting adjusted, her phone didn’t work, she needed a printer. We had a quick dinner and then it was back to Walmart! It was bittersweet when we finally left. We were ready to go home after spending a week in NE but it was hard to fly back home without her. It helps to be able to see where she is living and know that she was going to be okay.</p>
<p>My experiences on breaks haven’t been as good as others have reported. When she comes home she is crabby and moody and generally not nice to be around. I am actually dreading summer. Not every kid makes that big leap of maturity the first year. I’m still waiting for that, hoping for it actually. I think maybe some of her moodiness is her own defense mechanism. She had a lot of homesickness especially the first term and maybe it somehow helps if her time at home on breaks isn’t all that great.</p>
<p>Thank-you…every one of your posts is very helpful. I read each word in hopes to begin to prepare myself for that day. I can imagine the busy day of registration, buying text books, getting all things into the dorm room, and listening to the head of school speaking, but then there will be the moment it all becomes very real…and there will be a “goodbye”…and then a long, quiet ride home.</p>
<p>I appreciate each parent’s story.</p>