<p>Carolyn - I always enjoy your commentaries and advice. My older son is now a junior in a state university and I am encouraging him to get started on the job/career hunt process (beginning with an internship search) with little success thus far. As parents we want to help them avoid the biggest bumps in the road (especially when we have a pretty good idea of what they are since we hit them ourselves). </p>
<p>In my case, I told both my sons that I had no close relative to give me job hunting advice when I was in college. As one result, I told my sons the story of how I wore well polished handsome cowboy boots to an all-day set of interviews at a big Chicago bank. Guess who didn't get the job. In my senior year I wore the good regulation attire (with black polished shoes this time) for another day of interviews at a competing bank and did get a job offer. I have offered to be a career/job advice coach to both sons and encouraged them to use their career centers at school extensively. My younger son has taken several solid steps in this direction, but son # 1 says some of the right words, but with little real action on his part.</p>
<p>Well, as you have stated so eloquently in other posts, it is their life with the great highs, the mundane, and inevitable lows. We just have to "be there" as parents for whatever happens.</p>
<p>I love this idea. I already told it to my son, and we've agreed to it. I had to do it now, while he's a junior, because by next year I will have lost my mind.</p>
<p>Hazmat, if you check in, just wanted to let you know that your idea for the snapping necklace was a HUGE hit with Daughter. She chuckled gleefully all the way home. :)</p>
<p>As parents we want to help them avoid the biggest bumps in the road (especially when we have a pretty good idea of what they are since we hit them ourselves). </p>
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<p>Lonestardad, This is the central crux of the issue for me, wanting to protect her from disappointment. I admitted that to her this weekend.
Know what she told me? "I'm not going to shrivel up and die if I get rejections Mom." </p>
<p>She's in at her safety, and actually the safety has much to recommend it. Everything else is just gravy. (Or should I say Cheerios?)</p>
<p>The Post oats (look like cheerios but much better) will cause less deprivation. I eat them all the time while driving to & from work.
Fortunately, your D does have an acceptance. I've heard nice remarks abt Humbolt. She "ought to" be appreciative of all the time & effort you put in to help her select schools, go East to visit so many of them, etc. Her friends are probably envious of all the support she's received, but D would probably take it all for granted. Just wait until her friends are scrambling at the last minute, then she'll be grateful for the kindly pushes.
My S did not push the magical "send" button until 12/31--That's a guaranteed way to turn a parent's hair gray!</p>
<p>I actually TOLD My D to be quiet and just do the eye roll. Eye roll is nothing. </p>
<p>Carolyn, I think that is the right attitude to take--if D ends up at safety it's good, because you picked a safety that fits in so many ways--if she has other choices (and I KNOW will!), well, that's the banana on the cheerios!</p>
<p>Carolyn I just love your story. This is what I think of as inspired parenting. I know that over the years when my kids have just driven me insane and me them, the only productive way out is absurdity. I remember once, on one of hundreds of mom drives, when the two of them in the back seat had been fighting at that horrible but sustainable level only siblings can find, for 30 minutes, first I turned the radio way loud so I didn't have to hear the fighting. Then when we pulled up into the driveway of our house, I opened the car door, walked around to the side of the van, opened it, grabbed their stuff (they were maybe 6 and 9) and threw it ALL into the street.</p>
<p>Then I stalked into the house.</p>
<p>Absurd, succinct, non-shaming, memorable. So are your Cheerios, albeit you have to wear them whereas I inflicted the absurdity on my children. Hmmm. Have to think about that:).</p>
<p>Well, at least your cholesterol will go down, if the commercials are to be believed. I'm ready to start throwing things at my daughter - "why are you wasting your time on myspace and AIM when you have college stuff to do?????".</p>
<p>fireflyscout-we, too, endure the scourge of myspace and AIM when D is home. Us parents should design our own myspace sites so our kids' friends can visit and see what losers we are! Carolyn, you could have a photo of yourself eating a trough of Cheerios or snapping your necklace!</p>
<p>Count me in as one of the nagging parents. My son has been "working on " his college apps for two weeks now. Meanwhile his school has sent out the transcripts and he's asked his teachers to send their rec's in by the end of this week. I wonder how many colleges get everything except the application?</p>
<p>There is plenty of scramling going on amoung S's friends. They are now suggesting that my S apply to an additional school. I guess they are dreaming about going off together. I told S that I do not like the school they suggested and why, but told him he can apply. I guess he did not want to be bothered applying to another, accepted my reasons for not caring for the suggested school, and he said he is not applying.</p>
<p>This thread is a riot...Carolyn, try that Cherrios Diet for a week and see if you lose weight. Gosh..you could write a new diet book "The Great Cherrios Diet" and publish it, and make enough money for at least college books. It won't be any worse than the pineapple diet, the grapefruit diet, or the ice cream diet (yep...I've seen ALL three). Go for it.</p>
<p>Listen to the words of Bobbie McFarren's "Don't Worry; Be Happy". It is an open letter to his parents, who pushed him into Julliard (from which he dropped out, to later graduate from Sacramento City College) to become the "great African-American Schubert player."</p>
<p>You are more likely to get on each other's nerves more after all the acceptances are in and decision made, in the process of separation. Maybe you should start working on a Cheerios necklace for her, too.</p>
<p>While I'm at it, let me recommend one of my favorite books to you: "The Art of Ingeniously Tormenting".</p>
<p>Alumother: Inspired Parenting? What a wonderful name! Much better than my terminology, reality discipline. If you email me I'll tell you my story (not for message board display, :D)</p>
<p>Anyway, I can now generously lend my support, do a lot of sympathetic clucking--because S2 has finished all his applications. Done deal (I think, I hope). Phew...</p>
<p>thumper1: I was thinking the same thing...we are making Fruit Loop bracelets in my Kindergarten class. My own kids tease me about hanging out on CC! But I can't tell you what a blessing it is to read about parents just like me and the struggles with their college bound kids. I just hope my S gets in ED so I can relax and just worry about how to finance his dream school! Until then I am trying to take deep breaths whenever I see him just surfing the web and not writing his backup essays!</p>
<p>I just re-read. So you only have to do the diet if you say ..when the letters come in. I don't think you will say any of the forbidden words when the envelopes arrive. You will hug her with either outcome.</p>
<p>My son met your daughter on my birthday. He called because it was my birthday. I remember asking if he met Carolyn. The answer was something like "no, I think she just dropped her daughter off and drove away." I got the feeling son thought that your daughter was very lucky to have a nice mom who didn't meddle like his mom probably would wanted to do.</p>