<p>Alright, so I'm trying to tackle my college transfer essay - </p>
<p>My first issue is this: I'm applying to about 8 schools, all of which use the common app. I've looked at successful college transfer essays, and almost all of them very specifically mention why the school they're applying to is their best fit - sometimes they mention specific programs or professors, etc - how can I be so specific in my common app essay? How can I address why I'm applying to each of these schools? Maybe I should save that for the supplements?</p>
<p>My second issue deals with the classic essay writing doctrine of show, don't tell - A lot of the successful essays I read broke this rule completely. What does this mean?</p>
<p>Your commonapp essay should not be specific to the school. Your supplemental essays are where you get specific.
I have no idea what the classic doctrine you're referring to is, lol. What does it mean?</p>
<p>Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.</p>
<p>In the Common App (not the supplement), and the supplement has no essay that says "Why This School?" Is it okay to make the Common App essay prompt response, similar to a "Why This School?"</p>
<p>The doctrine of show, don't tell. It's hard to articulate, but I'll try my best.</p>
<p>The idea is not to simply list off your traits, your abilities, your accomplishments like a laundry list. You <em>show</em> them.</p>
<p>For example:</p>
<p>"I am an ambitious, hardworking person." That's telling.</p>
<p>"I toiled 6 years to achieve my blackbelt. Through all the charlie horses, back-breaking training sessions, heart-wrenching competitions..." This is showing. He makes the point that he's ambitious through anecdote and example.</p>
Is it okay to make the Common App essay prompt response, similar to a "Why This School?"
</p>
<p>You can, but it's probably better to sell the school on your personal traits. </p>
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I'm applying to about 8 schools, all of which use the common app. I've looked at successful college transfer essays, and almost all of them very specifically mention why the school they're applying to is their best fit - sometimes they mention specific programs or professors, etc - how can I be so specific in my common app essay? How can I address why I'm applying to each of these schools? Maybe I should save that for the supplements?
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<p>I don't know what essays you've been looking at, but this has simply not been my experience.</p>
<p>OK, I think you might be confused. The point is, you want to write something that has substance and actual meaning. This sentence:</p>
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I toiled 6 years to achieve my blackbelt. Through all the charlie horses, back-breaking training sessions, heart-wrenching competitions...
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<p>Has absolutely no substance. I think you're confusing being creative with writing something with substance. People oftentimes try to be too creative in their essays - but that can backfire on you.</p>
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[quote]
My first issue is this: I'm applying to about 8 schools, all of which use the common app. I've looked at successful college transfer essays, and almost all of them very specifically mention why the school they're applying to is their best fit - sometimes they mention specific programs or professors, etc - how can I be so specific in my common app essay? How can I address why I'm applying to each of these schools? Maybe I should save that for the supplements?
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</p>
<p>It all depends on what is asked in the supplement. So if the supplement asks Why school X?, then your CA essay can be more general. If the supplement doesn't ask why you want to go there, or if there isn't a supplement (eg. Dartmouth), then you should put some of the school specifics in the CA essay.</p>
<p>You can modify your CA essay by sending different versions to different schools.</p>
<p>Also, you can often send in a "Why X" essay to schools that don't already have one. Just ask them to make sure it is allowed. That's what I did for WashU and Vandy for freshman admissions and the admissions officers were totally cool with it ( and I got in :))</p>
<p>Thank you all for your responses. My lord, I'm going to be knee-deep in essay writing.</p>
<p>Aerial Blue, I'm a bit puzzled by the fact that you said my example had no substance. Could you elaborate?</p>
<p>Edit: Or do you mean I simply reiterated the struggles of achieving a blackbelt without exploring the changes such an experience would bring about?</p>
<p>Sethosayher, put it this way. You would almost never see an example like that in an actual admissions essay - it's too contrived, and it makes it seem like you're trying to exaggerate something that's really not there. I wouldn't follow a style like that.</p>
<p>For an essay to have substance, you want each of your sentences to lead the reader into something (or indicate it). This is harder than you think and believe me, when I wrote my admissions essay as a high schooler, I had the problem of trying too hard to be creative in places where I really didn't have to be (e.g. emphasizing the significance of a trivial situation). Demonstrating pithy and persuasiveness is key, and some topics are just easier than others (for example, writing about your ECs). </p>
<p>You can take the first example, "I am an ambitious, hardworking person," completely follow it up with an example that shows how you have grown or demonstrated these traits, and you'd be fine. For example, "Jay Leno once brought up the idea of ambition in his monologues in the same episode he talked about hard work with Jamie Foxx. Two disparate traits - ambitious and hard working - while seemingly distant in an episode that emphasizes one in spite of the other, define the two important strengths in my life that must go together. Without ambition, hard work is only meaningless toil." And then follow up or something like that by telling a story about yourself (I just completely made that sentence up right now). That's what they mean by "showing."</p>
<p>Damn, that was a nice write-up. And you're right, my sentence was very cliched. I never looked at the "showing" distinction that way, but I'll adopt that method myself.</p>
<p>Well, being cliched wasn't really the problem - not as much as lacking substance. Believe me when I say that simplicity can be a virtue, because adcoms will know that they're not reading a pile of BS.</p>
<p>Your advice makes sense, but I'm still afraid of sounding boring. I guess if I care about what I talk about and am sincere it shouldn't be boring at all...</p>
<p>Depends. Often I'll see people trying to be sincere in their essays and it turns out into the most tedious read ever. Just remember when you're writing your essay that it is possible that your essay will be the one the admissions officer picks up right before they are about to end work that day. Don't write anything that you yourself would not want to read after piecing through numerous apps.</p>
<p>Honestly, there's not much you can do to avoid sounding boring. Just like many things in life, you either have it or you don't. Good rhetoric can't be learned in mere months. What you can do is be pithy. Pithiness is good. Also, as you said, you gotta dispense with cliches. If it even begins to sounds cliche, trim it fast.</p>
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[quote]
Honestly, there's not much you can do to avoid sounding boring. Just like many things in life, you either have it or you don't. Good rhetoric can't be learned in mere months. What you can do is be pithy. Pithiness is good. Also, as you said, you gotta dispense with cliches. If it even begins to sounds cliche, trim it fast.
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<p>Yes, I should add that it's fairly obvious at times when a person is trying to be creative. If you find that your essay is too contrived, don't be afraid to rework it. Try to think in terms of the admissions officers - would they like to hang out with a person like you after reading your work?</p>
<p>you can print out commonapp and mail it instead of submitting the essay online because if you do this the same commonapp essay gets sent to each institution</p>