<p>Not to belabor the point - well, maybe I am - but I do hope that y’all are just venting and that at some point your child listened to someone’s opinion of the schools on the list.</p>
<p>Are any comments that are not 100% positive considered rude? Example: There is a school in our area that is fairly popular - good school, pretty low tuition for a private school. They really downplay the very conservative religious nature of the school until you get there for a visit and start asking pointed questions. Now if I was talking to someone who I knew was a very conservative religious person about the school, I would have nothing negative to say. But if not, I might say “We visited there and thought it was a really good school with a lovely campus. But Son just didn’t like the idea of mandatory daily chapel.” Is it rude to give a slight warning of an issue that might be a deal killer for them?</p>
<p>I tried the “smile and nod” approach for a while, but it gets to me more. I’d rather take the time to enlighten the person with current admissions information. Send them away in a worried daze instead ;).</p>
Thanks for the input - we will be taking a trip to that area this summer to check it out. We had the same reaction to Maryland at College Park. Unfortunately, a lot of urban schools are not in the best neighborhoods and you have to consider whether safety is a concern or not.</p>
<p>I cannot ever imagine saying that to anyone. I guess the closest I would come if I thought the person was making a terrible mistake would be to refer her to a person who had gone to the same school. (As in, “Oh, I understand that Y from the Class of '11 goes there. Do you know her? I bet she’d love to talk to you about it.” Then leave it to the student to explain why she couldn’t transfer out fast enough.)</p>
<p>As for filling people in on current admissions standards, if you can do that nicely, it’s a service to everyone. A local school has really become difficult to get into in the last few years…“back in the day” pretty much anyone who could pay the tuition could attend. So yes, if folks aren’t kept up to date on how admissions standards have changed, they would be really baffled if a bright student with whom they were acquainted didn’t get in.</p>
<p>I have no problem saying that. I said that to my niece. The school she had selected was without any doubt just a poorly run and overpriced institution. They engage in deliberately deceptive practices to attract students who otherwise would not attend. My niece actually didn’t do much if any of her own research and relied on what the school told her, and what the school chose to show her on her tour. Then she did her own research and saw the bad situation for what it was. She applied to a handful of other schools that looked good, and were authentically good, and now she has a good result. </p>
<p>Political correctness aside, there’s nothing wrong with “comments” if they are valid and relevant to the future of people in your own family.</p>
OTOH, you can end up sounding snooty. “They’re only accepting one in ten students these days, you know - it’s a very exclusive club, snoot, snoot. We think D would fit in perfectly there with the other snoots, doncha know.”</p>
<p>It seems like giving objective into is key. For example, “Great school! I have heard they have become a lot more selective in the last few years. The daughter of a friend applied. She was in the top 10% of her class with a 29 ACT and didn’t get in.” They can do with that info as they wish…be scared if they have a 25 ACT, or feel fine if they have a 34 ACT.</p>
<p>I’m in PA. My neighbor’s niece is in FL. He was frustrated and sick that she - an IVY caliber student - choose a FL state school. </p>
<p>Knowing the family and some recent patents the FL Dad has, thought it was brilliant. The kid had a slim chance of IVY. The family’s income just shot up beyond FA to most places. FL and bright futures offered the student great things!</p>
<p>Can’t wait til 2014 when the neighbor’s kid is in the midst of all this and sees the reality of cost vs value.</p>
<p>If you are sensitive to the opinions of others, or realize that others are misinformed or that what you are doing will be misconstrued, just do not discuss the search. If asked questions, only give vague answers:
“S/he is looking at a variety of colleges to figure out what appeals to her.”</p>
<p>I know it is too late for OP, but this is for anyone lurking here.</p>
<p>You can do plenty of anonymous research here, on the web, and so forth.</p>
<p>I was so happy and excited when my son got into Tufts ED. Six weeks later we went out to dinner with some friends and he said with a completely straight face “Congratulations, but you know you’re sending your son to a commuter school”. To which I tried graciously to reply" Well, I think you’re mistaken in your view of Tufts…, but, even if it was a commuter school, don’t you think you could be a little more enthusiastic about DS’s choice?" Honestly… I would always be enthusiastic even if I’ve never heard of a school. Or ask some questions about it…show some interst…</p>
<p>Thank you. My son is fairly how shall I say, “laid back academically ?”, I mean his grades are phenomenal but, he alway’s been the type to take the easy A, rather than strive for an A plus / or take the 32 on the ACT, think good enough, and not try for a 33 or 34… I’m assuming its a fairly common teenage boy slacker thing, but I was quite taken aback by the whole " commuter school" comment. There’s nothing wrong with commuting to school, but his tone implied ’ subpar…"</p>
<p>It sounds like Tufts has a requirement to stay on campus unless you have a home in Boston. So how many people live at home that commute to Tufts?</p>
<p>We tried to soften the blow for our nephew by pointing out that one of the Us where he was rejected from has also rejected NMFs and that he is going to a GREAT school with an amazing merit package so he’ll have more money from grad/med school. He did choose a lot of very good schools and is happy with his acceptances and the U he’ll be attending.</p>
<p>Not a clue. They do have reasonably a strict requirement that freshmen and sophs must live on campus for the first two yrs. For all i know, Tufts juniors and seniors do live off campus and “commute” to school. However, it wasn’t the comment. It was the implication that my kid was not going a “good” university. That he could/ should have " done better." LOL.</p>
According to Collegeboard, 64% of all Tufts undergrads live in college housing. Compared to HYPSYM’s (more like 98%), it’s lower, compared to places like Penn State (37%), it’s higher.</p>
<p>This is priceless. It would be like hearing someone say about Stanford that it’s OK for a junior college (which it was, once upon a time), or that USC was OK for those who don’t have the grades to get into UCLA (also true, once upon a time…and yeah, us UCLA partisans still want to say it ). In other words, it’s someone just revealing that their knowledge on the subject is waaaaaaay out of date. How did you keep from laughing?</p>
). In other words, it’s someone just revealing that their knowledge on the subject is waaaaaaay out of date. How did you keep from laughing?</p>