<p>It's my theory that the top 5-10 schools over which most CCrs constantly salivate have an unusually high proportion of kids whose wealth and/or intellect are not expressed or developed modestly. I don't know if it's the School or the parenting or the peers, but so often these kids are graduated with an air of entitlement that is noticeable and unattractive to everybody but their own boarding school community. What, if anything, can these Schools do, to produce kids whose demeanor and attitude are warm, modest and open to their future college classmates and work colleagues?</p>
<p>well it's my opinion that with the environment of an elite school comes a certain element of elitism that could come off as snobby or non-amiable.
but the truth is, i think a lot of people in boarding schools control that elitism very well, one i know being much more modest than i am (and they go to one of the top 5 schools, a school with the reputation of still holding its prestige), or many other kids for that matter.
and i personally think that with the increase of financial aid available, people come from more settings of the world. not settings as in different places (because we all know the top five schools have wonderful students from kenya to pakistan, russia to england, etc.) but of different backgrounds. personally i think that when you come from a more modest family (modest could be someone who's really rich but doesn't flounce it or someone who could be very poor that knows their manners better than etiquette instructors at two hundred an hour. it's not just the whole middle class person who works hard to make sure their parent's hard earned money doesn't go to waste)</p>
<p>total rant. excuse me if i seemed to offend you in that post, i definitely do not mean any ummm money discrimination on modesty lol</p>
<p>I think this could cut both ways. Sure, there's the possibility that some will feel born to privilege and act as if they're above all others. But, having seen that dynamic at work in many arenas, not just high school, I don't think it is something that is a problem unique to boarding schools, no matter where you might rank them. There are always people who will act that way...and it doesn't require the wealth of a Rockefeller (David attended Exeter) or the intellect of a Burton Richter (Mercersburg alum - Noble Prize-winning physicist) for people to feel that they're vastly superior to their fellow man and deserve more of everything good in this world. You can enter practically any group of people -- social, academic, business, athletic -- of any age and demographic and you will encounter elitism in its ugliest form.</p>
<p>If I may posit the glass half full perspective on this fear of elitism, consider this: whether you hail from wealth or have been at the top of your class academically, many who attend these so-called top 5 boarding schools (including all 10-20 or more that lay claim to that title) are force-fed a heapin' serving of humble pie a la mode after becoming accustomed to standing out and being the top dog at their previous schools.</p>
<p>The darkside to boarding schools? As in there's only one? </p>
<p>To be quite honest, I would be more worried about boarding school crushing your child's self-esteem than over-inflating it. Speaking from experience, everyone's completely annoying and arrogant about the school they attend -- but about themselves and their futures, there's considerably less hubris. Humble-pie-eating contests are frequent, as D'yer Maker has suggested.</p>
<p>You speak of elitism as though it is something bad but for many of the people whose children attend these schools - a sense of elitism is what they are after. Either parents wanting their children to know that they shouldn't settle for what other people are willing to settle for or kids wanting a sense for what it feels like to walk with a better crowd. I'm thinking of Tobias Wolf's account of his yearning to go to boarding school in This Boys' Life. I live in a rural area and I'll admit to some desire in sending my girls to private school in helping to assure that they know that college is an expectation and hoping that they won't be spending their weekends four-wheeling with some boy who can't see past the weekend.</p>
<p>That said, there's a great range of boarding schools out there (at my school 40% of the students are on aid) and you don't have to choose one that encourages silver spoons.</p>