<p>With one kid, 90% of the parenting I had to do was removing obstacles. I spent way too much time explaining to his teachers that he wasn't trying to be rude when he said "I already know all this! Why should I have to do the homework too?" And way too much time explaining to him that his teachers just wanted proof that he knew the stuff. That set of arguments went away when we found a school that emphasized tests and papers instead of minor assignments.</p>
<p>With the other kid, I spent way too much time trying modulate her perfectionism. "You do not have to have a decorated folder for every homework assignment." </p>
<p>The whole "hanging out with your kid" thing is, in my opinion, overemphasized. Yeah, we spend time together, often cooking dinner or watching TV. But the best times have always been when we were DOING something together, usually while traveling. My husband, for example, simply doesn't connect that well with our daughter; he hates shopping for clothes, doesn't understand why she has pink hair, and really doesn't like plays much (she is currrently a theater-lit major with an emphasis on Shakespeare; he saw his first Shakespeare play this fall, because she made him). My daughter has never understood how my husband can spend 18 hours straight writing web pages and enjoy it. However, they both love skiing, and every year they go off someplace for three or four days of skiing, during which they usually end up watching movies every night too. And they're both much happier for it. In my turn, my son and I go SCUBA diving--which the activity where we connect.</p>