<p>I visited Miami (Ohio) today. It has absolutely beautiful architecture, the people were a lot more friendly than everyone had told me they would be, Oxford might be small, but it doesn't strike me as a boring place at all. The dorms are pretty nice, and it's just very pretty to look at. Of course, strong academics. They had a good library, and it's far away enough from home (more than 2 hours) where I wouldn't feel like I'm still living at home. </p>
<p>But, I had a feeling it wasn't for me. I have nothing but a feeling. I couldn't see myself there. But, the thing is, I don't have anything to rationalize this feeling with. I loved everything I saw...but something inside of me was screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!." In fact, I even loved the size. Big, but the campus doesn't seem huge or anything. I don't know what's wrong with me, because everything I saw I liked...and I didn't even think the people were too preppy for me like I was told, it wasn't the people, the look, the...anything, but something wasn't right, and I don't know what to do.</p>
<p>Don't discount your gut feeling entirely. Since you visted on Saturday, maybe you could go back again and go to some classes? See if you get a different reading.</p>
<p>Go with your gut! Hopefully you will find a college that screams, "YES!" for no particular reason. I wouldn't even worry about it unless you have visited a dozen campuses and they were ALL screaming "NO!"..... and you keep hearing, "Be, all that you can be..." in the background. :)</p>
<p>I have felt that too! I visited Oberlin and liked what I saw but didn't feel like I could totally see myself there. Maybe because it was over the summer and no students were around. Maybe I really did feel like it was too small of a town. I don't know. I am still planning to apply to Oberlin but i am a little bugged by my visit.</p>
<p>The worst part is...I'm deciding between Purdue and Miami, and I have only a week to decide, so I'm a little freaked out. I would feel better if I could pinpoint exactly why I didn't like it...but there's no reason. :(</p>
<p>Why do you have only one week to decide? Purdue isn't demanding that for sure. I don't understand......$100. deposit I believe and you can get that back. Why do you see it as one week?</p>
<p>because I don't have money to waste on giving my GC forms to a school I'm not going to even apply to and sending a transcript there, all of which costs money. Nov. 7th is the last date to accept forms. The other thing is, Miami is my father's alma mater, and I feel guilty if I don't apply there...to say the least he's been pressing it on me.</p>
<p>No. I'm applying to 8. But 7/8 have been decided, and 8 is the cutoff. So I'm struggling a bit. <em>sigh</em> :( I think I'm going to talk to my GC on monday see if she has a suggestion</p>
<p>I am the analytical type so I always am a bit worried about making a decision based on feelings. For a good logical reason, going with you gut feeling is almost always the right thing. The sub-conscious takes in a lot of information and has abilities beyond our abilities at conscious thought. There are, usually rare cases, when our gut feeling are just plain wrong. Once we learn more, we can feel and think differently than the initial reaction.</p>
<p>You just completed your visit. Give it a little time. The reasons for your gut feelings will reveal themselves.</p>
<p>I don't know.... my DD was not wowed by her visit to her university. It was summer, there weren't many people around, scheduling an admissions interview had been a mess, the campus seemed too spread out and formal, and she didn't even want to apply. An overnight visit changed her mind, and she is very happy at a fabulous place with unlimited options. It's a good thing she didn't go with her first gut feeling and reaction.</p>
<p>I was so sure about my first choice school until I made my overnite/class attending visit.....just prior to T'giving holiday. AWK.......classes were all not good!! I came from a discussion base HS format, made an effort to choose college classes that were large lecture and small discussion format. I anguished about my application which was already submitted. My family listenend but refused to tell me what to do. Upon my return to HS I spoke w/ my teachers, some current students and gave great thought and angst. I decided to let the decision come forth and then deal with my self doubt. In the end I made another visit......I spoke w/ professors at college again, felt ok and kept my commitment. When registering for classes I had lots of advising, spent a great amount of time choosing my classes and have been satisfied, pleased and challenged. My advice is to look deeply into the curriculum, find opportunities for yourself, pick your courses carefully and make a plan for yourself. It takes work but it is well worth it. Many times your engagement in the path of opportunities you lay out will make the other more surface questions become clear, become more/less important. You are after all attracted for one set of reasons but staying with it for another set. Good luck to you and I hate to tell you this but choosing a school is a lot of work and effort.</p>
<p>This is all great advice! Let me add that there is not only one right decision. Most people can get a great education and be happy at any number of colleges. My son's first choice didn't work out because of a poor financial aid package, so he went elsewhere. After a couple of months, I have to say that we agonized over the applications and decision WAAAY too much. Probably any of his top 4 or 5 choices would have been just fine. I only say this so that you don't get too hung up in the process...you have eight colleges you love and you probably can do well and be happy at any of them.</p>
<p>My D's first peek at her school was also unimpressive. It grew on her. She is very, very happy there now. Visits are blind dates-- they may or may not reveal the deeper reality of a school.</p>
<p>celebrian, what happened to Ohio Northern? Do you mean you're deciding which to apply to? Which to apply ED too? Which to attend? Don't make any decision about enrolling based on a single visit. Sometimes it's the wrong day, wrong time, etc. How many of us can say that we had a "gut" feeling about our spouse the day we met then knew we loved them forever later??? One visit is not enough.</p>
<p>I think Celebrian raises an important point about "the feeling" or its absence. Through all of our college visits, I have been waiting for my daughter to pronounce "this is the one!" It hasn't happened, even with the two schools she considers to be the frontrunners. I found myself increasingly concerned about this and was even starting to dig again for further colleges for her to consider. But I finally stopped myself and took stock of the situation and my daughter. </p>
<p>She is NOT a gusher and approaches most things from a cerebral point of view. Her take on the schools on her list is that none are perfect, but each has enough positives to outweigh the negatives she sees (or suspects). She's also a "fixer" by nature, and if she sees a problem, she views it as a challenge to be overcome rather than a roadblock to success. And she's extremely adaptable without being wishy-washy; I've seen her carve out a niche for herself, time and time again, in settings and situations where I was sure she'd just want to bail out. </p>
<p>Given those traits, I now think it would be out of character for my daughter to "fall in love" with a school. She's told me that she would be happy to attend any of the schools on her list, warts and all, not because they're perfect but because they offer more than enough for her to work with. Her attitude is that her final decision (assuming she is accepted) will be based as much on the financial aid packages as "the feeling."</p>
<p>My D and I visited Miami of Ohio, also. We took the tour, listened to the spiel, walked around and looked at students and how pretty the place is and we both looked at each other and thought: this is not the preppy, cliquey place we expected. We both thought it was a definite possibility.</p>
<p>Then we went to have lunch in the main union (forget the name) and we watched the kids come in and sit down in their little groups and gossip and glom on to each other. Then we both looked at each other and she said it was like being in her high school cafeteria all over again. She got the "feeling" right then and there that it was a definite no. (The high school cafeteria was not a place she wished to revisit for the next 4 years). Just that little feeling was enough.</p>
<p>Fast forward a few months, and she's still struggling to find the right school. On a last minute whim, she applies to a close by LAC and goes to interview. As she walks around campus, she gets the opposite "feeling" - this is it, this is the place.</p>
<p>Gut feeling is a very real phenomenon which should be respected - assuming you've got back-up plans and other alternatives. I'm assuming you're applying to another state school. If Miami was your only state school, I strongly suggest you keep it in the mix. </p>
<p>By the way, I know plenty of happy Boilermakers.</p>
<p>mezzomom,
I think my son approached the college search much the same as your daughter. After visiting four colleges, all of which had accepted him, he eliminated one both on "feel" and on logical considerations (even though it gave the best financial aid). Two others he loved the campus, and the program seemed good, but he had some misgivings. He did think, however, that he could be happy at either. The one he finally chose had a beautiful campus, although it was bigger than he originally thought he wanted. Its program for his area of study is one of the best in the country, but he had heard rumors that it was very competitive and could be impersonal. It also gave the least amount of financial aid. He debated between this and another college for about a week (with May1, decision day, fast approaching). Finally, he decided based upon the program and his interaction with the music professor he would be working with. Now that he has been there for two months, he loves the programs and the opportunities, and he has found he gets plenty of personal attention. He has found negatives in the campus attitude (too much partying), but he has found ways to overcome the negatives and get all he can from the positives.</p>
<p>Feeling is important, and, as others said, can mean you are instinctively seeing some negatives that you can't yet verbalize. However, don't let it override all other considerations. (My son might have liked that first school more had he gone on a sunny day when the trees had leaves, and flowers were blooming. He didn't base his rejection of it solely on feeling.)</p>
<p>Celebrian - you know the phrase, "penny wise and pound foolish"? I think "feeling" is important, but if you are still feeling torn and conflicted, I think it is a mistake for you to cut off your options right now by limiting your applications. If it costs $100 more overall to keep a path open until spring, to allow you to make a choice in light of who you are and how you feel and all the information you have available in April of 2006.... I think that's $100 well spent, even if you have to earn every cent of it working at some minimum wage job. </p>
<p>If your gut level feeling led you be CERTAIN that you DON'T want to be a Miami... then drop it from your list. I think my daughter's college visits this fall led her to be very sure that, despite the appeal on paper, she doesn't want to go to certain colleges that once were at the top of her list. But the point is, she went from being fairly "sure" that she wanted those colleges to very sure that she didn't.</p>
<p>But if you are still feeling unsure, then spend the money you need to, to keep the doors open. If you truly don't have the money and your parents can't give it to you, then talk to your g.c. about the procedures for fee waivers -- both the application fee and the costs of reporting test scores can be waived in appropriate cases.</p>