<p>Wow, that says it so well! Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>That one made me cry. A lot.</p>
<p>The sun and the planets. Yes.</p>
<p>Ditto here re: crying. sigh.</p>
<p>These are the kinds of things that have been going through my head when I wake up each morning, now that departure day is looming. Have done it once before with S1, so it’s probably a bit easier this time around, but still…</p>
<p>S2 and his wonderful GF have been together over a year. They’ll be heading to schools on opposite coasts. Like Bbdad’s D, they have agreed to end their relationship when they depart for school. In the meantime, these last days together are precious. They’re young, and it’s a sensible decision, but it’s still very sad to see such a supportive, sweet relationship come to an end. I hope they can remain friends.</p>
<p>I haven’t thought too much about our own goodbyes yet. With S1, I just had to remind myself how fortunate and happy he was to be at his college, and how sad I’d feel if he WASN’T there. It wasn’t too long before my missing him was accompanied by a decent amount of envy! I wish the same for S2.</p>
<p>To bca and ctyankee-I am so thrilled by the artistry of your post on the thread I started !I started a new volunteer position working in the ER at a local hospital and it is such a great distraction to work with all the people there.The staff is very friendly,and grateful to have a volunteer,and I feel useful and needed.It’s not the same as being a mom,but feeling needed and helpful cheers my aching heart abit,D at pre-orientation called yesterday to say she already met her "new best friend’,a suite mate who has lived abroad,which appeals to all the trips my D has taken independently.This is a girl who announced that she wanted to go to sleepaway camp just like her big brothers at age 6!Agirl who had planned to go to college at St. Andrews in Scotland,if she hadn’t got into Harvard .A girl who plans to summer abroad on an organic farm,like she just got back from.Sometimes I think I did too good a job as a mom to create such a strong independent D.</p>
<p>This author is worrying about sending of her child a year in advance. With that much time she should be certifiable by Christmas. [Anticipating</a> the Send-Off, Though Its Still a Year Away - The Choice Blog - NYTimes.com](<a href=“http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/24/anticipating-the-send-off-though-its-still-a-year-away/]Anticipating”>Anticipating the Send-Off, Though It's Still a Year Away - The New York Times)</p>
<p>Folks, I think it’s important to focus on the upside of all of this. Presumably you’ve raised your child for just this moment. You “built” them with what you feel is the right combination of openness and reluctance, of curiosity and doubt and of caution and fearlessness. You’ve done your job and now’s the time to let them loose on the world.</p>
<p>Five years ago I took our oldest to school; when I dropped him off we a range of separations, from a dad who merely unpacked two boxes and two bags on the sidewalk and drove off, to the father so distraught about leaving his daughter that his blubbering tears became an embarrassment for his daughter and his family, (frankly it was so bad the guy became an embarrassment to our entire species). My wife and I had our moments of sadness and tears, but looking back on it, it was because we were fearful of what we were losing, completely forgetting what we were gaining.</p>
<p>As I stood there giving my son the man-hug, (closed fists), I found myself a little misty but sporting a huge grin. My son asked what I was smiling about, I told him I was just so excited for everything about to come his way; I was actually a bit jealous and wished I could do it all again myself. Since then he has graduated, found a job in his field and traveled to parts of the world I need Google Earth to help me find. Yes our boy is gone, but every phone call reminds us that he’s turned into a great man; my wife and I are optimistic that when his younger brother leaves next fall that we’ll be able to remember that through the tears we’ll be shedding for ourselves.</p>
<p>Neat Vince! That’s for sharing.</p>
<p>Sitting here, last full day before taking D to college, I am a wreck and the post from bca said it all. I fill my head with positive self-talk all day, so as not to make D any more anxious than she already is. She too has focused on the excitement but, after she finally confronted packing her clothes last night, the anxiety got to her (just minutes before, she was busy highlighting the freshman schedule for the few days before classes start with amazing excitement). I have to always be the excited, happy one (and I am, because my college experience was amazing and I am so proud of her and excited for her). I am not worried about her at all. I know this is just a transition. We did so many right things bringing her up (so I agree with Vince on his post). But, plain and simple, I will just miss her. There’s no one in my house I can talk to about this. I will probably go see my friend across the street later; she brought her S to college last week.</p>
<p>So today, I will enjoy the day with D, taking her for her haircut and to the nail salon. Maybe out to lunch with grandma. Help her with her last minute stuff this aftenoon so she can spend time with her BFF after that. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the next few days. I have great plans with S (HS soph) starting Monday - and I am really truly looking forward to spending the time with him - but really, all I want to do right now is sit here and cry.</p>
<p>Thanks for listening.</p>
<p>Though it’s so sad, it is also SO comforting to read everyone’s stories and know that we are not alone in our sadness/lost feeling. Our “last hour” will be Saturday morning - but since we are planning to pack the car Friday night and just get up and go early in the morning, I’m hoping we will be too sleepy to be sad. 
Yeah, right…I’m trying to talk myself into that one…</p>
<p>abasket, that was definitely the case with our son, since we had to leave for the airport at 4:20 am! I am not a morning person, and although as I posted earlier I got choked up hugging DS, I was still too sleepy to feel the full effects of the separation! Good luck to you!</p>
<p>I read this thread a few days before launching our D and then now I realized that last hour was a blink, as was the whole day, just as the 18 years before it now seem to be. Thanks for all the stories - I love the sun/planets and vince - it’s always so nice to hear from someone who has survived the path past college. I am now just a few days post launch and it’s just, well, weird. Sort of like not being able to tell someone pregnant with their first how much their lives were about to change or how they would lose control of their heart - launch too and the after days aren’t really describable, I can’t pinpoint how I feel but it’s a good weird, just as I think it will be from here on out.</p>
<p>Our older daughter and I went cross-country with my younger daughter to get her off to school and moved into her apartment. We had a good time although it is tough knowing we won’t see her until Christmas! Right now, it still feels like she is just gone for a few days like normal. I don’t think it will sink in for a week or so that she is gone for a while. This is our 3rd of 4 to leave, so I kind of know what to expect, but each is different. This is the farthest any of them has gone, so she won’t have the opportunity to come home for a weekend if things are rough. I really miss her but know she will be back, and there is always Skype!</p>
<p>I remember coming home from the hospital with our newborn son, we were happy and relieved that the painful part was over; then as he lay there in her arms we turned to each other and said, “Oh God, what do we do now?”. Funny thing is we said the same thing after dropping him off at college.</p>
<p>Vince your post is exactly how I feel. I am so jealous of my son-I loved college and had a great experience. His school sounds so neat and the kids have great experiences. Right now my DS is being such a pill that I can’t imagine sadness is an emotion any of us in the house will be feeling when he leaves in 3 weeks. However this week has been tough for me in that my youngest started high school!! My DD and I are very close and seeing her in her uniform go into the h.s. just choked me up. I didn’t cry but was a little sad. Plus the same day I turned 50-ugh I had asked my husband for no party so of course he and my friends threw me a surprise party. I just wasn’t in the mood for it and really wish they hadn’t because the changes in my life were on my mind. I knew they went to a lot of trouble so I made sure to put on a happy face. </p>
<p>My DS’s going away should be a nice way of saying goodbye because we fly out togeather but I drop him off for a small outdoor orientation for 3 days-I’ll stay in town getting his junk we ordered from stores and then pick him up. We will stay in hotel one night and then I’ll drop him off to dorm and leave the next day so seeing him twice in one week should help the transition.</p>
<p>vinceh - that is just how I felt too, both when she was born and when I dropped her off - my world had just changed, both times.</p>
<p>I too am jealous of my D’s experience but at the same time so thrilled she gets to do it - she worked far harder in HS then I ever did and she deserves this.</p>
<p>She is the oldest to launch so I know we’ll have to do this again and again but the first one leaving makes it all true - that the book does end and the sequel begins whereas before I just kept believing pages just kept being added.</p>
<p>Best of luck to all those still waiting to launch - while I miss her greatly, I’m happy to have launch now behind us, the anticipation and unknown was harder than the adjustment now seems to be but I also agree that right now it still feels like she’s just away, I’m curious to see when our routines really just start being about the 4 of us still at home and I don’t always think in 5s.</p>
<p>
woody, thanks for the laugh! Indeed, my sophomore son has been saying the same thing about the freshmen at the uni I work for. He went back to his college last weekend, and one of the things he said happily is, “I have frosh!”</p>
<p>This summer’s drop-off was harder in a way than last summer’s drop-off. Last time, the novelty of the situation and the logistics of moving consumed and carried us both. This time, I looked back on the summer with regret over all the time we didn’t spend together – and thinking it could be his last summer at home. And he found more ties to the area, so I think leaving was harder for him too, which makes it harder for me. Last time was easier because I knew he was Home whenever he set foot on campus.</p>
<p>The good thing is, we got to talk it over. I know the summer was great from his perspective, and he pointed out all the good times we did have together. I know he’ll be ok and he knows I’ll be ok, and it looks like his home away from here has already claimed him again. And that’s good. He’s where he belongs.</p>
<p>C’mon, Thanksgiving and Christmas.</p>
<p>D left last Friday for pre-orientation activities.Really wanted to hear from her ,yet had said I wouldn’t call before Move - In Day, so I went and bought a very cute, fat, 2 year old sized teddy bear and sent an e-mail from the teddy bear,asking if bear could come to school,but that “mom” said he had to ask for permission …hoping that D would respond(she did)How clever was that? Bear is coming now as well ,and I didn’t call her!</p>
<p>I am going to get my DS for his dorm room one of those bears from build a bear that records sayings and I plan on recording comments such as “clean your room”. It should make him feel right at home in his dorm room and not miss me one bit!!</p>
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<p>Haha, that’s so cute!</p>
<p>
No, you did a great job, and you’ve launched an exuberant, curious, adventurous daughter out into the world. Congrats!</p>
<p>I have to say goodbye to my senior and freshman sons the same day. Senior is leaving before we get home to go back to school. We are going with freshman to move him in and will visit friends on the way home to put off coming home to an empty house. I burst into tears the minute S2 bounded down the stairs. Vinceh put it best - these are two life altering moments with similar feelings. I have always worked part-time - with my hours cut recently. DH is working even more hours and comes home late at night. S2 was very close to me - he would recount his day in great detail and played 2 varsity sports, so I was always busy with practice, games, etc. I have friends, but most of them are not interested in going out during the week. Eating dinner alone night after night is quite depressing. I like the idea of the empty-nester group. I’m going to have to reach out to more people to keep busy.</p>