<p>I have been the model of motherly composure until today when it all feel apart. We will take my son to college for the first time in 3 days and up until now I've been excited for him and secure in the knowledge that he is ready for this change. And then today when I found out that the futon that I thought we were going to get for his room won't fit I've been a mess. I've been a little weepy and at times almost to the point of hyperventilating! Not about the futon but about what a change this will be for our family. He is our first out the door. It makes me wonder how long this will last. Is it something that will pass in a few days or a few months?</p>
<p>Any words of wisdom from veteran parents and/or students would be appreciated!!</p>
<p>You are not alone. {Hugs}. We took our s yesterday, also the first out the door. I cried a lot last week, and was a little teary this morning. I talked to him tonight and he is having fun, did all kinds of stuff today and now headed to a midnight BBQ on the quad for welcome week.</p>
<p>Check out the class 2014 & beyond thread. Everyone is sending their kids away and feel the same way. They are very helpful.</p>
<p>I am preparing a surprise care package. I’m sending it Saturday, hoping it arrives midweek. His classes begin Monday. We picked up his Senior yearbook today, I’m baking a couple of things, his grandma is making homeade fudge, etc. By consuming myself with planning that, I have felt better this afternoon.</p>
<p>I know it is a great thing, he is going to the University he has always wanted, great dorm, etc. But, I am still going to miss him & worry. :(</p>
<p>I got teary yesterday thinking about my friend across the street taking her son to college today. Went over early this morning to wish him well. He was so excited; mom, not so much. My D doesn’t leave till next Thursday. This is not going to be easy. I was a wreck over graduation in June…</p>
<p>First, go ahead and acknowledge to your student that this is a big change, that you are excited for him/her, but the transition is challenging for everyone.</p>
<p>Try, try try to remember that this is GOOD. That your student has done well. That this is what we want for our kids.</p>
<p>Flush your brain with gratitude for all that is right. I’m too simple to experience grief and gratitude at the same time. This may get you through drop off. It worked for me.</p>
<p>I fell apart after I got back home, but that was OK.</p>
<p>Yeah, S leave 2 weeks from tomorrow. I started getting queasy the past day or two. He hasn’t been home much all summer, and he’ll only be 3 hours away…but…my baby’s leaving.</p>
<p>Yes, my head knows it’s my grown up son, successful, eager to embrace this new phase of his life. But it’s bittersweet.</p>
<p>His best friend is leaving this weekend. </p>
<p>For me as a parent, S’s high school years were a mixed bag. Getting him to focus on his studies and responsibilities, I sometimes felt like Sisyphus and the boulder.</p>
<p>But he seems to have managed to get his act together in the last year. And the best thing was seeing him develop into such a social and well liked young man. He had so many friends, across all the different groups in school. And he was well liked by his teachers, even when he wasn’t turning in his homework.</p>
<p>So I’m happy and proud of who he’s become, but I sometimes miss the little boy he was.</p>
<p>I have a super-emotional mother and I’ve always prided myself on my self control, but DS left this morning and I have been a wreck. He’s at a “Fish Camp” and we’ll meet him at his school with his stuff on Sat to move him into his dorm. </p>
<p>I KNOW that some moms send their children off to war and mine is just going to college, so I don’t really have a right to be such a wreck…but I don’t seem to be able to stop …Everytime I see a little kid I remember him little and the tears just come :-(.</p>
<p>I know he’ll do great. I just can’t cheer up yet - maybe after he’s settled there I’ll feel better.</p>
<p>CheckersMidwest–my school’s fall welcome includes a midnight bbq tonight…any chance your kiddo’s at University of Missouri?! If so he’s one lucky guy–I ended up here a few years ago and absolutely LOVE IT. Bummer I’ll be a senior this year!</p>
<p>To the rest of you parents, your grown up kids know this is tough on you. We’re not THAT out of the loop. We understand that you’re bummed and that you miss us and GUESS WHAT we miss you too, I absolutely promise. Call. Text. E-mail. Send care packages. We might seem annoyed at first (mommmmm not again…) but deep down we love it because it’s tough for us to adjust too.</p>
<p>Time heals all. Next thing you know it’ll be parents weekend and home football games and you’ll be having a blast at their schools. Good luck!</p>
<p>I sent my first son off five years ago and the following year our twin sons left. The year after, our daughter left. We went from having a family of six to a family of two at the dinner table within three years. It was difficult as each kid left but it was probably the most difficult the year we sent the two middle ones off. The house just got so very quiet very quickly. It took about a month to get accustomed to the fact that they were not at home. Then breaks come and before you know it they are back. The house gets temporarily busy again, the shower is running, the toothpaste is left open on the counter, the refrigerator is raided at all hours, and the washing machine is screaming for a break. Thats when you know you are adjusting to the kids being gone. The minute they come home and something as stupid as this starts to get on your nerves, you know you are ready to see them start their lives. Hang in their folks you will start to enjoy the time they are away but you will never stop missing your babies. I still miss my kids and as they get older it gets worse because you begin to realize that at some point there wont be any breaks that they come home… Then you look forward to grandchildren I guess.</p>
<p>martina99 - I could’ve just copied and pasted your entire post because you were describing my S. That’s why while I’m sad that my only S is going away to college, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I couldn’t be more proud of him.</p>
<p>cbug - being sad to see your child leave is so NORMAL. You are not alone! Join us on the Parents of class of 2014 and beyond thread. You’ll see…</p>
<p>I’m sitting in a hotel after dropping s2 off. Our dinner family of five is now three. While I’m a mom who is generally happy to see the kids leave the nest and thrive in their own environment - as S1 is doing now as a college senior – and doesn’t shred tears (I saw one of those moms in the hotel this morning) I, too, have those momentary pangs of gee whiz it went by so very fast…too fast. Your feelings are normal and understood by all of us.</p>
<p>My two will be going back this fall as college juniors. Funny, it doesn’t seem long ago at all that we were dealing with them leaving home for college the first time. It is weird at first, but as others have said, you do get used to it. The quieter pace around the house is unsettling at first and then you get to like it. They come home for breaks and you like that too… and then they go back and you’ve got the place to yourself again.</p>
<p>It really does get to be okay. Life is change. I think this is the last summer both of mine will be home for the whole time. After this there are internships and jobs and travels that will reduce our summer visits to 2-3 weeks most likely. So I’m enjoying this summer having them around, especially because it’s likely the last one. Still… life is nice when they’re away too. And going to visit them is really fun!</p>
<p>I’d been steeling myself for DS#1’s departure since he graduated from middle school. Many many tears surrounding his actual departure. More in the ensuing weeks/months, often prompted by the most innocuous things. What I was <em>not</em> prepared for was that, just as you’re starting to feel a little better, like the household is beginning to re-shape itself to its new numbers, they come home for Thanksgiving, and then they leave to go back to school and the tears start all over again. Going into junior year I still cry every time he leaves. It’s all good, though. <sigh></sigh></p>
<p>Oldest child, S, left for college in fall of '02. I still have pangs when I remember the feeling as we were leaving the driveway for our 2 hour drive to school. He backed out first for the trip and I teared up thinking it will never be this way again. No tears at school as the move in was brutal with some trips up to the 7th floor of the dorm via the stairs. I was too exhausted and he was grumpy, so parting wasn’t too hard. He was home 6 weeks after graduation prior to starting a job and I wept like a baby when he and his dad pulled out in that rental truck heading for DC. That lasted 2 years before law school. A terrible job market for attorneys sent him back home to work an internship this summer for 3 months, the longest time he has been home since 2002. He left Sunday afternoon and is almost 27. I still cried, but not for too long since I am happy to regain some order in our house. My point - you are blessed if you have the kind of relationship that will bring tears at parting and it is natural. You won’t be alone if you cry on campus (I did that a few years later when moving D into the same school).</p>
<p>When I did this last year it helped me to keep in mind that this was the beginning of a wonderful adventure for my child and that while I was sad, I was also happy and excited for her.</p>
<p>Hugs to all of you doing this for the first time.</p>
<p>Getting through it the first time around (3 years ago) is what I’m counting on to get me through it this time around! Survived then after some rocky moments and will survive now. </p>
<p>The worst for me was the hug before getting in the car when we were leaving campus and the first couple of days at home - everything reminded me of D - walking past her empty room, her flavor of yogurt left in the refrig, random flip flops that were left behind - simple stuff, but stuff that was her. </p>
<p>I remember crying the night before my sister left for college nearly 50 years ago; I was positive that our family was being torn apart and that we would never be together again. The reality was that we became MUCH better friends after she was no longer sharing a room with me.</p>
<p>Now, my only child is getting ready to leave for college that is 5-6 hours from me. I am tremendously happy for him and very confident that he will have a great experience. Once again, I am afraid that this is the first step of him leaving me completely. I want him to be independent and happy making his own life but I hope that he will be willing to share at least a little bit with me. He is normally a very private person but we have always had great conversations during those odd times in the car or waiting for the water to boil for the pasta or watching Comedy Central (he watches while I read CC and share bits of wisdom).</p>
<p>I didn’t cry at graduation because I was too worried about his speech and making arrangements for dinner for all of our family who came. Up to now, I haven’t been too emotional because we planned a last minute going away party before his friends leave. Keeping busy and worrying about details seems to help me. Making plans for the days after keeps me focused. I spent an hour at the craft store looking at things to finish a scrapbook and got interested in starting some new crafts–something that I haven’t done much of since he was born. (I did cry for the first time while I was typing this, so I guess posting here might not be a good idea!)</p>
<p>I am sitting at the computer for the first time in days, saw this thread and had to commiserate. I am waiting for final load of laundry to dry while DD is at her HS saying last good byes to team mates - we leave in an hour. </p>
<p>DH, who has been strong up till now is getting very nostalgic and I can tell he will be tearing up later today when he says goodbye at the dorm. I have been rushed off my feet for days helping her pack between work shifts and optimizing the loading of our Pacifica with her stuff - this is the first moment I’ve had to think about the transition that is about to take place. Reality is started to hit me.</p>
<p>I will probably spend the 5 hour car ride dispensing advice and running through mental checklists (she and I are leaving ahead of rest of family, who will leave once younger D’s tennis practice is over). Once she is moved in and I am in our hotel room, I know the waterworks will begin in earnest.</p>
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