<p>Jade, I understand your frustration. Your particular situation is unfair. Unfair in that your parents’ priorities are such that they cannot/will not pay for your college costs but are deemed able to do so on the income they have. There really is not enough money allotted to pay for everyone who feels they need it for college. What we give to families who make under $20K a year is not a whole lot more than what you are getting. The PELL which is all that is guaranteed is not even $5K And you are not even close to getting that amount given your family income. </p>
<p>Your anger is truly misdirected, however. How on earth can you begrudge the kid whose family makes less the 1/5 of what your family makes? That is really truly all they are guaranteed.. Others who get more are higher in the pecking order in terms of merit/aid or pure merit. There kids who get full rides with their parents making 5X what yours are, because of MERIT and because they picked schools that recognized their resume as worthy of MERIT. I don’t doubt that if you got into UCLA, you could have done the same. UCLA does not feel that you are what they need to pay for. There are plenty of other schools that would pay for you. </p>
<p>Savings is not the only way parents pay for college. They have to tighten the belt a LOT when a kid goes off to college. We have had to tighten our budgets a LOT when our kids go off, and I am looking for other ways to cut as well. We may well sell our house for something smaller as we have fewer people here full time. We will save on some food and other things not having our son home. That money will go towards paying his college costs. He is also working his rear end off this summer with 4 part time jobs since he could not get one full time one, trying to come up with enough so that he can pay a portion of the cost. He has been in touch with folks about a part time job during the year so he can pay for his needs. He was elated to learn that he could borrow his books at his school. He intends to work full time during Christmas and spring break. He is psyched to pay as much as he can and is borrowing as well. We too are borrowing. Though we have some savings, it is not wise for us to deplete ourselves of it, given some particular home situations that we do not expect the college or the FA system or anyone to subsidize. So we will be borrowing too. Out of the $40 of costs that he needs, son is taking care of a quarter, we are paying a quarter, borrowing a quarter, and all of us are working like mad to get the other quarter somehow.<br>
Other son who is at a state school is foregoing all vacations this summer and working a multitude of jobs too. He is hoping to pay for a third of his costs this year which would really help us out. My oldest son worked 90 + hours a week during summers and whenever he could during breaks and school year to cover his costs at college, even as we paid the tuition and board. </p>
<p>In this area, a number of my son’s friends regretfully turned down first choice, even 2nd and 3rd choice schools for financial reasons. All of these kids are what anyone would call upper middle class. Due to events and potential situations, it would not be wise for the families to spend the type of money needed for their kids to go some of the colleges that accepted them. But they do not meet any definition of need which they fully understand, and the kids did not get merit or enough merit money to pick their first choices. THis nearly happened to my son. One of his choices was a full pay state school that even paid him an allowance each month with a good chance of him making a tremendous salary when he got out. Yes, he turned it down, but nearly took it. He considered it heavily, and only turned it down after long, painful negotiations with the college of his choice that (painfully, tediously, very painfully and slowly) came up with barely enough money that it made it doable for him and us to send him there. It was very close, and it hurt my heart that my child could not just go where he pleased, but I know in my mind and heart that this is not the worst or even bad situation. It is a GOOD situation compared to the predicaments life can pose. A wonderful situation. As you get older, you may see this perspective, but hopefully not without the painful experience that some us underwent to fully realize this. You and my son, and I along with most of the kids and families posting here are the lucky ones to have the privilege to suffer financially to have the opportunity to go to a “sleep over” college of choice or to any college what so ever. Those choices are the good ones in life, believe me. This comes straight from the heart of a mom who does feel for you, but also has suffered terribly other types of choices in life that have so little good in them.</p>