I just received the dreaded call from a school asking whether we’d be able to go FP (we can’t). We were told that DS would be placed on the WL and would need to wait for both a spot and financing to open up. Should I have asked for more time to explore options and then made the school decide on the offer? that way we’d have had the spot and could have, perhaps, negotiated for FA? What experiences have others had?
Two schools did that to us, @Gnomen16. The reason for the short decision space is that time is tight between now and M10 and there are plenty of other qualified kids on the list that can potentially go FP (we did), so they will just move on down the list. I don’t believe you have any negotiating power if they believe you have the ability to be FP.
Forcing the decision would most likely have resulted in a negative decision. As @ChoatieMom said, they would simply move down the list.
It was an offer, an offer of admission without FA. They just didn’t want to “waste” a spot for someone who would definitely not accept it. Just tell them fine if that’s the best you could do. You don’t have the responsibility to “save them the trouble” of writing an offer.
Ah well. Thanks for the insight. We are not in the fortunate position of being able to opt out of FA. Indeed, I’m beyond baffled at how they could even think it possible. We’ll hope for different , and outcomes, on M10. It does make me wonder whether last minute calls to financial aid offices are warranted.
I meant different, and better, outcomes on M10…
A few years ago DS had one school offer admission with no FA and another one with FA and two wait lists (no idea if FA related or not). No phone call from any of them. Sometimes it is about how far their dollars will go and how much you really want that school not that they don’t think you need aid. Other schools might look at the profile and needs and come up with a different number. Good luck.
On the positive side, you were given the option. It is better than the TD.
Yes it is, and though DS would much rather have received the admission letter, it is very helpful to know the why behind a WL.
We were told we should let them know if still interested in March but that getting off the WL with FA is an April or later decision, and depends on who they prioritize from the pool. All sounds highly unlikely but not completely impossible (as has been pointed out in other posts). To me, as I just wrote to someone, it sounds like two hurdles (spot + aid) and my DS is not particularly adept at track and field.
Interestingly, we were told that the FA pool has shrunk 'cause some existing students are finding they have insufficient funds to continue. The school is prioritizing them for funding, which (even if hard for DS personally) is the responsible (logical?) course of action and nice to hear.
@Gnomen16 I know you cant but I sure would lobe to know what school you heard from!
We had the same scenario play out at a school. One of the rationales we were given for this type of call was that the school did not want to send an acceptance letter to a student who applied for FA and didn’t receive it because it would be potentially heartbreaking for the student and put the parents in the awkward position of having to tell their child he/she could not attend the school even though they had been accepted.
It really makes sense for the family. Unlike the acceptance letter without FA, this call doesn’t have to be shared with the student, at least not until they have an acceptance with FA first.
Sorry to hear that others are going through the same painful process.
I think it is not about sparing us…we’ve had to tell DS: ‘You were offered admission conditional on our ability to go full pay. We had to say no.’
Interestingly, it never occurred to me not to share the info. DS knows that going to BS will be contingent on sufficient FA. He can hope and dream, but he is also part of a family…and recognizes that it is simply impossible for us to provide what we don’t have.
And given our finances, he understands the call as a message from the school that it is happy to have DS but not enthused enough (yet) to put him ahead of others being given FA. The yet because, despite the call, we never know what might happen between today and M10 (perhaps every family they call will be in a similar spot). We know that the experiences with financial aid thread suggests otherwise…still, fingers are crossed.
@Gnomen16, you are right of course. I think I was short sighted to write the above post.
It probably depends on the kid (especially a younger kid accompanied by more protective, considerate parents). Ours would rather know that a WL is due to finance as opposed to something linked to his ego, to something that he could control.
I suspect it is our egos that are bruised (we desire to provide for our young 'uns as fully as possible) but we did know the situation when we embarked on the BS applications.
I do hope that our experience will mirror that of MA2012 and we’ll have at least one offer of admission with sufficient FA.
I think how a family handles discussions with a child about family finances is very personal. I know I grew up knowing everything about our finances. Our kids know a lot but not as much. My wife didn’t really know anything. I don’t think there is necessarily a right or wrong way.
I will say that my DS told me the worst case scenario is that he gets in and we can’t afford it.
I remember last year when my DD and I sat hunched over her middle school’s office computer at exactly 3pm to see what her admission result was. I had gone to her school because I wanted to be there to support her in case it was bad news, whether it was a no, or a yes that would not work for us. Her superintendent, who gave us access to that computer after having tech issues in other locations of the school, read over her shoulder the Congratulations! heading and started to do exactly that. She turned to him and smiled, saying “thanks, but my mom has to give me permission first.” I skimmed through the letter, looking for that magic number to allow this life-changing event to happen. And there it was. THAT NUMBER. I stopped on it, reread to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me, and smiled. She asked, “yes?” and I said, “yes!” giving her a big hug. Then we three celebrated the moment.
She was abundantly aware that her admission was contingent on FA and, apparently, the admissions office understood that as well. Sometimes dreams do come true…
@Gnomen16 , I’m sorry that you have to go through this. For whatever my 2 cents is worth, I’d tell your child that XYZ accepted you but didn’t provide enough FA. This is accurate – DS’ application was strong enough that the school wanted him. I’d then explain that they’re putting him on the WL to see if they have additional funds.
Depending on where this school was on your list (and what other options you have), it may not matter at all. Or it may be a situation that you continue to work through this spring, in which case it’d be nice if DS understood what parts of this are in his control and which are not. You don’t need to disclose everything about the family finances to him, but I think he’d benefit from understanding the need for this to be affordable.
There is so much to learn going through this process, and the fact that the playing fields are different for those with money and those with less is one of them. We are going through the next round of this right now (college), and it’s more pronounced there. A kid who can get into a highly selective school with loans and a little aid is likely to be offered a full-ride at a good LAC that is less selective. (The merit scholarships at schools like Dickinson are pretty amazing.) So while the next week and month are what are looming large right now, this is just another bit of education and prep for what lays ahead.
Fingers crossed for you as the whole scenario plays out.
This seems to be pretty common. We know a few kids that applied to BS last year and did not get enough FA. Some are applying to different schools this year hoping to get more. I think the levels of aid vary depending on the school but the underlying calculus is the same.
The schools that called us asked us what we wanted them to do: send our son the acceptance without FA or send an outright rejection. Because they had determined we did not meet their threshold for FA, there was no WL option as no FA would be offered, so the only choices were yes or no.