The Harsh (Untold) Reality

Prep School Admissions
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Alright everyone… almost every thread on this topic is sunshine and rainbows about getting into x, good news about y, and so on. Sadly, I have also contributed to this.

However, I personally have went through a “devastating” first-hand experience, and I want to share this with you all and hopefully (eventually) learn about others’ perspectives. Get ready for a negative story…

In the year of 2021, I had applied to 10 schools: Andover, Exeter, St. Paul’s, Hotchkiss, Choate, Deerfield, Groton, Lawrenceville, Middlesex, and Milton. Over the summer and into the fall, I was grinding out research, planning for SSAT, and grinding on my ec’s (hockey, piano, academic comp). I literally spent hours and hours on essays, my mother spent maybe thousands on resources, and I sacrificed invaluable time with my family + friends. Long story short, I was waitlisted by EVERY. SINGLE. SCHOOL. I got off none, and that was what I expected.

There is a feeling in this world, similar to hopelessness and despair–yet fundamentally different. It is the feeling of unaccomplishment, of failure, of wasted work. At the time, I felt like l just wasted a chunk of my life. Looking back, I am surprised that I didn’t get depressed.

So many of my friends and peers got into their dream school, and so many more at least got into one school. Everybody kept telling me that the year was one of the most competitive admission cycles ever – that didn’t help. My whole family was disappointed, and I hated that feeling. Eventually, I got over it, but…

<Flash forward 1 year>
I decided to apply again, and another HUGE story short–I got accepted to top schools that I was previously waitlisted by, and I am going to attend Hotchkiss as a reclassed 9th grader in the fall of 2023.

But what I really wanted to say through all of this… is that it is fine to be met with harsh results. It ain’t ever gonna be the end of the world, and there always is another pathway. (It’s about how hard you can get hit and get back up) With each year having a harsher and harsher admission comp, we need to loosen up a bit. This is pre-college and pre-adult-hood!

So to all the people out there, that have been met with not-so-great results – I feel you. I really do, and I wish you the best. Prep school is not everything, try some new things. If not, try again like I did!


Anyone? Similar stories or any thoughts? 
Let this thread be the not-so-happy but more meaningful one?
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Congratulations on getting in to a top school.

In terms of lessons learned, wondering if when you re-applied, did you apply for a 10th grade entry or a 9th grade entry again the second time?
I am trying to understand if it is not uncommon for schools to offer 9th grade spots to 10th grade applicants. Or are kids who have completed a 9th grade year somewhere applying to 9th grade again at top prep schools as icing on their application cake, so to speak? (These would both be harsh realities, in my opinion.)

Also, when you re-applied, did you add any relatively “safety” schools in terms of their acceptance rate? Or was your approach, gladchemms or nothing? What would you advise others based on your experience?

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IMO this is a very positive story. Congrats and and enjoy Hotchkiss!

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I would say that the reality of applying to these 10 schools and getting accepted at none is not at all an untold reality here. It happens every single year to many undoubtedly awesome, highly qualified applicants.

Which is precisely why the advice here is always, unless you have a great Plan B (e.g. a great local public school) to cast a wider net by applying to schools with meaningfully higher admit rates. And understanding that applying to two schools each with a 10% acceptance rate does not mean your chances are 20% :wink:

Congrats on your subsequent acceptance to Hotchkiss!

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You have wisdom beyond your years. This is an essential key of life, and it’s important that every one of us, regardless of age, remembers this.

I wish you the very best! Congratulations on your success, and you will go far.

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@FrabjousDays the applicant must select the grade for which he/she is applying, so a current 9th grader wishing to “reclass” would apply as Grade 9 applicant (rather than a school offering a 9th grade place to a Grade 10 applicant).

There are many reasons why kids reclass, and pros & cons of doing so. My understanding is that reclassing is not uncommon at certain schools, although my observation during recent revisits was that the majority of Grade 9 entrants appeared to be typically aged. Hard to tell though!

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…especially when education is an afterthought after sports.

Private prep schools like to restart their athletes at the lower grade, so they will be older/maturer/stronger when competing. The expected better results are good for marketing for the next applications cycle.

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At both of my children’s boarding schools reclassification is very common—it’s just when it occurred. Some kids with spring or summer birthdays are encouraged or forced to wait a year for kindergarten and others high school, clearly that’s not for athletics. And as for reclassification at BS, it’s just wrong to say parents and students doing this are putting education second. Kids coming from public schools or not as rigorous privates benefit from that time academically, socially and yes sometimes athletically. But my kids who did reclassify due to summer bdays have just as many reclassified peers who were not recruited athletes. These kids are all adjusting to living on their own and as a DA admissions officer told us, many kids spend the first semester or year adjusting to boarding school life. Also, there seems to be resentment and even elitist attitude towards recruited athletes by some students, parents and faculty, who seem to neglect to comprehend the sacrifices these kids have made from a young age and continue to at their BS—they’re doing everything everyone else is but with less time due to their sports commitments in and out of school. I’d assume the same for students dedicated to other passions like performing arts.

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The good side about prep school application is that there are clearly de facto plan B (local public schools). The scary thing about college application is that Plan B and Plan C needs to be solidly in place.

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The same thing happened to my nephew a few years ago. He applied to 12 schools. Got waitlisted at 10 and rejected at 2, Andover (top choice) and Lawrenceville. He needed a lot of financial aid. Ended up attending the local private day school on a full merit scholarship.

So this year he is a hs senior applying to colleges: He will be going to Stanford in the fall…. so it all worked out in the end:).

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Thank you – I reapplied for a 9th grade entry, which is good for sports, and I play AAA ice hockey, so sporty applicants definitely can apply to reclass; it is relatively common.

When I reapplied, I did add “safety schools”, such as NMH and Kent, which I got into. But you know, honestly even NMH has a low admit rate this year…

Anyways, I think what’s important is what an applicant wants from boarding school. I wanted the best education, and the best arts program (Hotchkiss is strong in this field), so I basically applied to all top 30 and mostly top 10. Thus, I didn’t really want any safeties. Why spend thousands of dollars on an average or slightly above average boarding school, right? I guess I might sound a bit cocky, and I apologize, but that’s just my opinion.

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Thanks for sharing the story!

I am wondering if you showed improved hockey skills in your 2nd around application? What else do you think helped your application?

I applied for 6th grade with Nobles several years ago, got WL. This year I applied for 9th grade with this school, and got WL again! So I think simply applying again won’t help, even improved grades, academic achievements and improved music achievements won’t necessarily help. It has to be the thing that matters to that school.

I agree with your choice of schools to apply. I also only applied for very good schools, since my local public school is better than an average private school.

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No problem, thank you!

And yes, I had a couple of “professional” recruiting videos that I sent out, which might have helped me, I don’t know. However, I think I got in because I showed a side of myself that I didn’t really shed light upon in my first application: music.

It’s pretty tough to be recruited alone by a sport unless you are top 100 metaphorically, so I wrote about music in my essays, sent them to staff, etc. Also, a bunch of schools that WL me before also waitlisted me, so it really depends on the school.

Lawrenceville even rejected me this year even though I was WL last year! Crazy.

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I actually have a similar story! Last year I applied for 9th grade entry at Andover, MX, Milton, Concord, Nobles, Commonwealth, BB&N, and BUA. I was waitlisted at all of them except Commonwealth, which I did not choose to attend because it was not a fit for me in terms of their (very small) student body. Like you @jeafn , I totally felt the sense of “wasted work” after last year’s cycle. My family made a lot of sacrifices for my applications and I felt horrible because it felt like I had let them down. This year, I applied to Andover, Milton, Concord, Nobles, Groton, St. Paul’s, and a local day school for 10th grade entry. I worked really hard to strengthen my application by getting more involved in my community and spending hours on my essays/SSAT. The work paid off, because I got into St. Paul’s and Milton - I will be attending St. Paul’s next year!

My advice to any people who had unwanted results this year is that it will be fine in the end, and to not give up if attending a private school is something you really want. If I learned anything from this process, it’s that having an experience that does not go the way you planned is more of a learning experience than a catastrophe. You grow so much more from “failure” than you do from getting perfect outcomes all the time, and for me, the application process was a moment for growth. I learned so much about myself, my needs, and my personality from this process, and I hope future applicants who read this thread will go into their applications with this mindset :slight_smile:

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So glad to hear that you got back up again and didn’t let their first reaction to your application affect your self worth. That takes an incredible degree of maturity and not every teen has that capacity. That will serve you far more than anything any school will teach you. Well done.

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Great story! I suspect that the OP benefitted from reclassing. HK, in particular, leans toward the older side. Schools are often reluctant to admit students they feel might suffer for being “young” or good athletes who may be outclassed by bigger stronger players.

Many people are resistant to reclassing (and their reasons are often rational.) Especially for an athlete, it can make a real difference.

We won’t know if that was what made the difference here, but it may be something to consider if you’re going to try again next year.

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Congratulations @jeafn ! Our son will be joining you next year as a Hotchkiss prep! He’s super excited, as are we. Hope you two meet!

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HK was one school which openly states 40%+ (this is 2 summers ago in terms of touring) of kids are reclassed…i would bet the number is higher today. And plenty of reclassing going on in the schools outside the top 10 too (GLADCHEMS). Neither of my kids were interested in reclassing - my D24 is an Aug’06 bday so turned 16 just as she started her junior yr with kids turning 18.

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Congratulations on your Hotchkiss acceptance @jeafn! This sounds like a “things work out for a reason” story. With your talents in music AND hockey, it sounds like HK is the perfect fit.
Our DC will also be attending HK this year, and also plays hockey (although not on a AAA league) so perhaps you will cross paths on the ice.

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Congratulations! You are very mature and with a healthy way of looking at things. Even some of us oldies could learn from you.