I definitely don’t try to keep up with the Jones, but I sometimes wonder how the Jones do it. I am long past the jealousy phase of my life and these days I just make observations. My SO and I just wonder how some people can do the things they do. Are some people living a lifestyle that maxes out their credit? Plus these days many of our friends and neighbors have 1-2 kids in college.
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Some inherited wealth, some earned a ton of money, and others live above their means.
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Some people do live above their means, but there are people in this world that have simply acquired a lot of money, through their own labor, smart investments, and/or in addition to inherited wealth.
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It’s just as easy to flip the script - your neighbors might be living well below their means and what you see as a display of wealth is actually restrained spending on their part.
Making an assumption on someone else’s financial situation is just that - an assumption viewed through your personal lens.
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We are definitely not “The Jones”. :). I think there are many $ circles people fall into. Debt is a big circle. Wealth is a smaller circle. Inheritance is a sometimes circle.
I think many people think they are “owed” things - they SHOULD have a couple of nice vacations, they SHOULD get to eat out a few times a week, they DESERVE a shopping spree.
There is definitely a “stuff” society. I personally want out of that society!
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You’d probably enjoy the book “The Millionaire Next Door”.
Only two ways to get rich–make more money or don’t spend anything but I don’t think anybody gets reallly rich without a good investment strategy unless they inherit it.
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People have different values. Some value country club memberships and luxury cars and set a strict college budget for their kids while others will pay anything for any school and forgo other luxuries. I would not assume or question what others do.
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Well, I’m not going to pretend that I don’t speculate about my neighbors, or that they aren’t doing the same. One family a block away has, in the last 6 months, bought 2 new BMWs, remodeled the house, added a new front porch and are putting in a pool complete with a waterfall. A nice inheritance is my guess.
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H & I often muse about how so many seem to have so much! Our D & SIL live in a very nice area, and D recently commented on the fact that she & her H make good money, but they sometimes marvel at what their neighbors seem to have. I guess unless you are REALLY wealthy, there will always be someone else that has more. Heck, I know a couple that earns a ridiculous amount of money (multiple millions - he is good at dropping things into the conversation that let me know that). But then I also know someone who is worth more than $4 billion (yup, with a b). All I can say is that money is weird. Most people want enough to be comfortable, but dang, it would be cool to be rich!
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You left out a third way to get rich - inherit it.
My husband and I do fine, but we do NOT try to keep up with the Joneses. We have tried to balance “now,” “later,” and “college for kids” over time. In our case both of us were relatively poor growing up, so we didn’t have an expensive lifestyle to keep up. We do have friends we simply don’t try to keep up with, and we have friends who probably have similar assets to ours, but drive multiple Porsches, spend a lot on stuff, etc. I think the husband thinks we are the “poor friends,” bc we have no interest in that stuff.
I have known a very wealthy person, who spent a lot of money on stuff, but honestly never desired to have that much.
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I agree! Whenever someone says that money doesn’t buy happiness, my father says “ but I’d like to try!”
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I say “but it can make unhappiness easier to live with.”
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I said “unless they inherit it”. What’s surprising though is that many people who do inherit or win the lottery or get some other instant big cash payout from insurance or disability don’t keep it. Some don’t even use it to get out of debt they are in–they buy toys. I’ve known several cases like that. I personally know someone who got a big disability check–bought a new car, a boat, a trailer plus some other toys in the space of a single week–and within the year was in foreclosure on the family home. It was very sad to be sure.
It happens also to organizations (especially smaller non profits in communities). They’ll recieve a large grant or donation and instead of spending it on needs, they spend it on big wants–and blow it pretty fast. I’ve read that it is better to donate smaller manageable amounts to organizations than a bigger one time donation because this happens so often.
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Is it surprising that someone who is under a mountain of debt due to high spending habits just spends away a windfall, instead of paying off the debt and not going back into debt?
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At this point in my life, I get Ralph Waldo Emerson’s comment that “The first wealth is health.”
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Well it always surprises me! I don’t think that way and find it hard to understand.
Now I also know a whole ‘nother crew. The "millionaire next door’ people. The ones that have a ton of money but you’d never know it. They have some nice toys but not many and never flaunt it.
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Yes, in more ways than one. Being able to do more activities without being limited by medical conditions and not worrying so much about a common cause of bankruptcy (medical bills) are both benefits of health.
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Yes I saw that :), and agree with what you describe.
It’s sad that people do this to themselves.
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I could always spot the really rich people in 1st class when I worked for the airlines.
Ratty T-shirt and jeans = rich.
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I think that there are also different “money cultures”. I live in a small town where there is one big employer. If you work for that company, I can pretty much guess what you make. Most of the employers are laborers or tradesmen who started working right out of high school and many are in the union. They lived at home rent free until they married and invested in rental property right off the bat. Their parents (who worked in the same company) gave them a down payment for their homes. So, while they aren’t making enough money to qualify as wealthy, they tend to live showy lives. Fancy new cars, big houses, nice vacations, designer clothes, etc. etc. Their kids never have jobs and drive nicer cars than I do. In contrast, their kids are driving BMWs and brand new top of the line Broncos and I drive a 5 year old Pilot that I plan on keeping for another 5-10 years while my kids share a 2004 Corolla and work whenever they can. It is a very “showy” culture and it’s rampant because they all work and socialize together. It is also a newer phenomenon with the current generation because their parents pinched every penny and made their kids work for what they had. Their parents are now living in modest houses that are paid off while their kids are in brand new McMansions mortgaged to the hilt after the parents funded the down payment. Education wasn’t a priority and unfortunately still isn’t for many families.
Where it goes sideways, however, is that they spend every cent they make. They view the rental property as their retirement plan and up until the current generation, many retired to the “old country” with a much lower cost of living. If they had invested instead of spent, they easily could have grown a nice portfolio as they weren’t straddled with school debt and made good union wages/ had union benefits since they were very young. Most of these families haven’t even thought about paying for college as until now it was just assumed that the next generation will also work for the same company (and many still do). Those with kids going to college are all shocked at the cost and have no idea how they are going to pay for even a state school (our state schools are still pretty pricey) because they have absolutely nothing put away. (Which I don’t get because they say this as they are still continuing to acquire things and renovate their homes).
Our priorities are very different. We make a lot more money (about 4x) but live much more modest lives. Our money is spent on our kids’ education (private school and college funds) and retirement savings. We live debt free and save a good portion of our money each month. We will have 2 kids in college which we already have completely covered, our house is nearly paid off (it could be paid off, but it benefits us to have a small mortgage with a ridiculously low interest rate right now) and my husband will be retiring at 58. We probably could have not pinched so many pennies and spent a bit more on fun stuff but my “(money) love language” is security.
The ones that baffle me are the two very young families that both own landscaping companies that have recently moved into our neighborhood and paid upwards of 1.25 million for their homes IN CASH. There are also new >$150,000K cars showing up every few weeks (seem to be on a rotation) and most recently a big boat. I’ve been told it’s Bitcoin money.
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