I don’t think people realize how telling someone that their thread does not serve any purpose, is in itself rude and self serving, ‘because you are not giving me what I want from your thread it’s useless’.
I do a lot of private messaging to have questions answered. It’s easier than having people say how stupid you are for asking the question which I see quite a bit of here on CC.
@EconPop, I have a couple of new questions.
I like your style, @EconPop.
Sincere best wishes for the best possible outcome for your son!
@SatanFlower69 - anyone who says posters are sucking the air out of the thread, couldn’t understand the thread and are not so politely asked to leave the thread if they are asking questions (that won’t be answered) is not typically considered gracious or understanding.
In the past, the “all about me/my kid” threads were not allowed. It seems nowadays , especially after the new forum changes and subsequent drop in readership, seems that any thread that get clicks is welcome. Times have changed…
@jym626 my opinion hasn’t changed based on this thread in its entirety. Agree to disagree. 
Enjoy your evening
@SatanFlower69 Don’t know what your opinion hasn’t changed on, but IMO, its rude and condescending to talk down to posters, to taunt with limited information and essentially say “I own this thread so will say only what I want, and I will not so politely try to show you the door if I don’t like what you are asking/saying”. Perhaps as a new poster you are not aware that making anyone feel unwelcome in a thread is ** against the TOS**. But if this floats your boat, enjoy.
As I stated, we can agree to disagree. You are entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. If the TOS were truly violated I’m sure a moderator would have closed this thread by now. They seem to be on top of that sort of thing here. But you are free to flag and see what happens.
I’m choosing not to engage further in this discussion since I feel doing so does not benefit this thread or help its purpose. So again, enjoy your evening.
Absolutely will enjoy my evening. You as well. Will ignore the patronizing posts (not yours) that imply longtime posters “don’t understand” (oh please) and will repeat that these days, threads that get lots of clicks are welcome fodder for the POB. Feel free to enjoy being a helper that way.
Interesting thread, thanks for posting OP. I find it interesting to see the different approaches people are taking with this process. We have 3 kids and my oldest is graduating high school this year (in NC) and it has been quite the learning process. My others are in 9th and 6th and they are all very different, in stats, ECs, type of school, and major.
Oldest is what OP would probably call high stats, however, not Top 25 high, and not quite high enough to get much merit aid from out of state universities, if any, in his major anyway. No hooks. We can afford in state tuition, however his major (linguistics, psycho or computational) is only offered at 2 schools in our state, and they are Duke and Chapel Hill. Sigh. It’s been a long process and everyone has worked hard. He applied to 14 schools, 3 of which he is a legacy but all 3 out of state. His friends teased him, but he doesn’t care, he tried to hit those reach, match, safety schools and it’s all playing out now. He does not have a dream school so in that sense he’s just waiting to see what all his options will be.
My 9th grader will have more mid range stats but will be more well rounded, and wants to do Geospatial Science and Technology, totally different path. My 6th grader has multiple learning disabilities and has an IEP, she is very creative and loves art, so a 3rd very different path.
It’s always quite a ride for everyone, and I read posts on here thinking just that way, hoping to learn something new, no judgment. Good luck to everyone.
@EconPop , I’ve named the names of the colleges involved—not to hijack your thread but to add specifics.
Can’t please everybody, no matter what one does
When a student is eligible for full Pell, as I was, their budget is generally the ~$6k Pell grant + the $5500 federal student loan + $3k summer work earnings + maybe $2k from parents. That’s roughly $16k/year which is usually enough to cover room and board. Students with this type of budget who want to go to residential college need to search out places that offer tuition grants for their stats. That can work for them because the aid crosses state lines. But being poor is hardly a plan.
Families whose income is modest but is still over the Pell income limit have more serious limitations. That extra $6k grant that you can spend anywhere you want makes a huge difference. You can find residential colleges with a net cost of $16k for an average stats kid, but it’s not so easy to find one for $10k. Even in states that offer need based grants to residents there can be a gap of thousands of dollars.
Families should search broadly for options, but be realistic. If your family is eligible for full Pell then OP’s plan might work for you, but if you’re not Pell eligible the landscape will probably look very different.
And yes,@cptofthehouse, mores specific info with grades, scores, schools is helpful. If one spins why they won’t share that, well, there is clearly a reason (which has nothing to do with generalizing).
I hesitated initiating this thread for a looooonnnnngggg time because I had a feeling some people would work against the thread. I’ve seen it happen before on CC. In the end, I felt maybe I could make it work. I thought that people who, for whatever reason, took issue with the thread or didn’t like what I was saying, would simply ignore my family’s journey and enjoy the other threads in this forum.
Now, being told that my thread may possibly be “not allowed”, I see maybe it is best that I follow my first instinct.
This thread has already devolved into a pitiful, painful shadow of what I’d hoped it could be because of the constant criticism from some. It should not be this hard for those of us who enjoy what this thread is about to be able to hold a conversation without constant haranguing from others who don’t really wish to be a productive part of our conversation about my family’s journey.
I’ll sleep on it, but I don’t need this nonsense.
I feel this thread can help students even without total specifics. We had an unconventional search as far as cc was concerned too. We didn’t bother with rankings. We looked as schools that S17 liked (no dream school). He decided for his major/interests he wanted a land grant school with a vet school attached (only exception one in state who will be opening a vet school). All true safeties but one which had a little financial reach.
We learned look for schools good in your major. Some lower ranked schools have great departments. Lower ranked can still be academically challenging when taking good programs. Graduation rate from high acceptance schools can be deceiving. S17 does not know anyone that isn’t graduating unless they are in 5 year combined degree programs. Did see some very low stat students that didn’t even want to go to college leave the first semester. He also knows several kids that came in like that and are now thriving.
Greek has been great for our son to our surprise.
So bottom line good schools with great FA (we paid about $20 - 23k per year including r&b) can be found in unlikely places and what is great for one student may not be for another. Going to school in fly over country isn’t always settling.
Good luck in your journey!
FWIW. I loved the premise of this thread at the start. But I fully agree that without sharing results, there is little benefit. You keep saying that some folks “get it” without any details. I don’t see how. We all got a lot of good info at the start, and it was great to see your approach, but I don’t think there’s anything more to be gained from this without specifics.
I don’t think anyone criticized your approach to selecting a college list – and that was your “ground rule”. I don’t understand why you feel attacked… but as a result your tone has become unhelpful. And the MY THREAD narrative seems just a little over the top. This is a public forum, not your personal blog.
So, do you plan to report results at the end? If so then that’s fine, I’ll be very interested to come back then. If not, then IMO all relevant info was already reported (and, yes, very helpful), but that is the extent of it, so I’ll leave this thread.
No one is “working against” your thread, @EconPop, nor wishing you or your child any ill will. It might be mindful to consider that some of your politely couched “get offa my lawn”, etc comments earlier might have contributed to some of the feedback you have gotten. Carry on.
Crossposted with @NYMom122. Well said.
It is a serious challenge when one has a student with average ( defined by national averages, not CC’s) and below, with no hooks , and a small budget. The Easy and ready answer is a nearby state school. Commute. Community college and then transfer to nearby state school.
There are problems with this solution, as well. Many students are seriously handicapped staying at home, in an environment detrimental to academic accomplishment. I’m working with a cousin’s child right now it’s this situation. His best alternative by far, in fact, the best chance of getting out of his rut and finishing college is to go away to school. But that isn’t supported by family and infrastructure. He is in a family that has done abysmally in terms of even finishing highschool. A lot of family problems. Friends and contacts are not into college. The pull towards an easier life right there is very tempting. The idea of going far away for college is terrifying and not likely to happen. Not supported by friends and family at all. Kid who is actually above average in academic achievement is likely to end up at community college. Chances not good that he’ll transfer to the only barely affordable option that is within commuting distance. Commuting is going to be a tremendous pain, challenge and expense.
In this case , by far the best venue would be a residential college wher student can stay and start a whole new life. All of my kids had that opportunity. They were raised to include that option. This cousin has not been so taught. Seen it happen repeatedly with other family members who could not endure the trouble of commit to college tired of feeling poor, being left out of peer activities. I get it. I’m really hoping to find a school not too far, within several hours where he can bloom where planted. Not a commuter school, suitcase school or where he’d be in a tiny minority of out of area students. The challenge is finding an affordable choice. Why would a school give this student a tuition waiver? There are no public schools that will fill this niche.
I live in NY where a lot of students can get a tuition waiver, some from the Excalibur Scholarshio. Tuition is reasonable and mostly covered by Direct loan or scull Pell sbd state finds also in the picture. But not for room and board. You gotta live with family and commute. Too bad if atmosphere is toxic for commuting.
My son with low test scores , good grades and full pay ended up with a lot of alternatives. His cousin who need money didn’t have nearly as many choices from loverlappung schools. Money makes a huge difference in this scenario. I don’t know how this can be addressed. To pay someone’s living expenses is an enormous expense and not likely to happen any time soon. Free college proposals tend to mean free in state public commutable alternatives.
Note that some students are eligible for Pell Grant but not the maximum amount, since there is a continuum between “full Pell” and “not Pell eligible” as FAFSA EFC increases from $0 to close to the maximum Pell amount.
^Excellent point, ucb. We’ve been in that scenario too. I didn’t think to mention that Pell eligibility can affect state grants too. NYS residents should note that families who qualify for the ~$7k NYS Excelsior tuition grant and full ~$6k Pell Grant will only get ~$1,000 for tuition. NYS applies the Pell grant to tuition first, and the Excelsior will only be used to cover the balance. It is very difficult to pull together enough money for residential college if you’re at the upper limits of Pell eligibility but have a modest income and a student with average stats. Families have to read about different types of financial aid and understand how they work.
EconPop, you have a lot of good information to share. I can see how you might think your son’s stats, where he’s accepted, and what aid he’s awarded are personal and not relevant to other people’s journey, but the purpose of this site is to ask questions and share experiences. Surely you’ve read threads here that had specific information that helped your journey.
Kids with average stats and limited resources aren’t well represented here. I think some of the feedback you’re getting is because, at first glance, your thread looks like it would help fill that hole. But by being purposely vague and not giving results you’re setting up a “lady and the tiger” situation where posters have to create their own ending. Families in this situation need more information, not less.
If the sum total of what you want to say is “apply broadly and see what happens,” that’s fine. You’ve done that. But I don’t really understand the purpose of dangling carrots such as “we have several affordable in state options” without letting other lowish income/average stats kids know where those things can be found. If your plan is to report back x number of affordable acceptances without saying where they are or what the net cost is I hope you reconsider. Yes, it’s nice to know affordable options are out there, but why would you want to keep them a secret?