EconPop,
I am enjoying your comments and appreciate the perspective.
I was first gen and needed loans, and costs were definitely a part of the decision when I was applying, but my kids are HSFP. So I have some firsthand knowledge of a range of situations, although of course things have changed in the intervening years (particularly tuition!). So obviously my kids are in a different situation, but I really appreciate gaining a better understanding of situations others go through. I always try to be conscious of different circumstances, but it definitely helps to read through stories like this to gain an even better understanding. I also think about volunteering at one of the high schools in the city near me, with essay-help, but really want to make sure I go in with good knowledge about options, and Iâm learning a lot from hearing your perspective. I also want to learn more about outside scholarships and what role they can play, and if they are worth the investment of time. I want to give the best advice I can, so thank you for sharing.
I donât know if everyone is cut out for your approach (not every kid would handle all the noâs or all of the extra effort), but personally I think it makes a lot of sense if you can handle it. I think we have all had some surprises in the admissions process, and if you donât go for it, you wonât uncover those. Your son certainly deserves more options than plain oatmeal!
By the way, one thing that a lot of people take for granted on CC is the choice in state schools. I live in the smallest state with a mere 2 state schools (And no honors college at the state school). While they are a good fit for some students, they really are not a good fit for a tremendous number of our students. Itâs so lucky to live in a state like NC or Virginia or Michigan or California that offer such choice and such a range of schools that can fit almost any student, from below average stats to the absolute top students at the flagship. In our state, there really is only one flavor of oatmeal, with no good academic fit for our stateâs strongest students. Sorry, just an aside, but having a range of instate options is really a blessing for many, that I wish was available in all states.
Good luck to you and your son. Sounds like he already has some wonderful options and Iâm sure there will be more!
I recently tried to help a friend with college admissions who was in a similar situation - Pell eligible, family contribution of no more than 5K, test scores in the 1100-1200 range, higher GPA but few APs, rank in the top 20%. There were very, very few schools that did not leave a large financial gap for a student that does not test well. He did not have the test scores to qualify for the most generous meet full need schools. In addition, the family was limited to FAFSA only schools because the non-custodial parent had the means but not the willingness to contribute to college costs.
It would be really, really helpful if you would consider (maybe after the results are in), which schools came in as affordable for your son as well as a slightly more specific description of his stats and ECs. It would be of great benefit for students like him, and there are many! I hope you consider a follow up summary report.
For other families, here are a couple of places I found that were generous for students like this:
York College, PA
Youngstown, OH
Berea College, KY (you have to be low income to apply and accepted students get between full tuition and full ride depending on family finances. All students have a work obligation on campus as part of the package.)
UNM - I knew about the Amigo scholarship but did not that financial aid was available for OOS student beyond Pell. This is good information and now I wish my friendâs kid had applied.
From being an avid user of College Confidential for a year now, I know it is sort of a ritual on CC for some users to ask a lot of questions from OPs, offer a lot of personal knowledge, demand more answers, and offer more of their own personal knowledge, regardless of whether or not it is pertinent.
This is MY thread about MY FAMILYâs journey in this process. I will tell it as I see desire. I will answer questions as I see fit. I ask that you all allow me that courtesy.
From here on out, I respectfully request that no one go digging around through old posts, that no one repeatedly stress their opposition to my plan, that no one INSIST on anything. It almost seems like Iâm the target of a TMZ report. If I wish to share something personal in this thread, LET ME BE THE ONE TO SHARE IT.
Please, just read and enjoy. Share your own familyâs stories. Go off on tangents. Ask, donât demand. And if you feel my responses leave you less than satisfied, accept my answer and let it be. You may not understand, but I know that the people I most hope to engage with via this thread absolutely will understand. Donât keep trying to warp the essence of this thread, of my familyâs journey, to fit what YOU consider right.
And if you donât understand yet you sincerely wish to follow along ⊠sit back, shut up, and just read.
To those who have positively and respectfully contributed to this thread, I thank you and am very happy for all of your comments.
Thank you, and now, on with my familyâs journey⊠âŠ
@EconPop I have a similar thread going and I get why you feel attacked but you canât start a thread and then tell people that they canât look at your prior posts or ask for more info. I sometimes get posts on my threads that arenât helpful or push back on something Iâve said, but I also understand thatâs part of the deal. People can search my profile to see my prior posts. It is what it is.
I do think your strategy is interesting. Tons of work for your S and a ton of denials will come his way. Obviously, with his URM status, he may have different opportunities at certain schools that hook-less kids do not have but I think telling folks that applying to Grinnell with a 23 makes sense is doing people a disservice. There might be some surprises for your D along the way but itâs wise to also avoid spending time applying places that are almost certainly going to be a no.
I wonât comment further. I wish your son good luck.
Thanks for responding Homerdog. I really enjoy your Journey thread.
I donât feel attacked, so much as I feel some people are trying to recreate this thread to deliver the answers/results/information they deem worthy or proper. There are 1000s of threads on CC, and there is no reason MY thread has to conform to what someone else dictates.
I encourage all comments and opinions. However, once someone has stated an opinion, it does this thread a disservice for that person to decide they will keep posting their negative opinion repeatedly. It does this thread a disservice to repeatedly argue. There is no reason to argue here, or even strongly debate. I wish for this to be a pleasant space, not an angry space.
How would you feel if someone went into your thread and repeatedly criticized your familyâs choice of wanting to go Greek? What if someone continually mentioned how they thought Greek life was a detriment to a studentâs mental health and school work? What if they said it was not a good idea for your daughter to avoid cold weather locations, but when you said that was her prerogative, they repeatedly offered anectdotal âevidenceâ why she should reconsider.
I know you understand, because Iâve seen you get a little snippy in your thread when people get rude and/or pushy. I respect your right to have your thread about your familyâs journey focus on the things you care about, in the manner you wish them to be addressed.
Econpop, itâs not negative to ask questions. We are all rooting for your son, and we are inspired by seeing a kid succeed with the help of an involved parent. Thereâs been a lot of helpful input from people who are asking questions.
Youâre posting publicly, and we are all anonymous. I havenât seen anyone whoâs being rude or insensitive. Everyone here on CC is in this big rat race of college admissions together and we all can learn from each other.
Weâve asked questions. We havenât demanded anything. No one is debating your ground rule:
âThe ground rule in this thread is: As long as true safeties are on a studentâs college search list, it does not matter if 100 super high reaches are also on the list. You may not like that for whatever reason, but please start another thread if you want to spend more than one post debating against that opinion.â
You asked for suggestions, and youâve been give some. @mamaedefamilia gave some excellent suggestions, and there are many of us, including me, who are working with or helping low SES students with ordinary stats. I myself have helped low SES students on this site get full ride QB scholarships. Iâve read essays for low SES students with average stats. I ask kids to tell me which colleges they are applying to because it informs my assistance. The kid applying to Harvard better have darn good essays, grades, and test scores. The kid applying to Directional College, maybe not so much.
There is no us vs. them here. People want to know because it informs our base of knowledge. You explicitly stated that you want to help others with this thread. We are trying to help, too. Youâve made you position clear, but thereâs no need to be rude (telling us to shut up) when people are doing exactly what is to be expected.
Ha! @EconPop Youâre right! All of that has happened and more on my thread. Iâm pretty much an open book, though, so itâs a little different. I think what people are trying to say to you is that, without details, this thread doesnât serve any purpose. I feel the same way when I find a poster who has terrific insight but wonât name the colleges they are talking about. In that case, I generally PM them and ask them privately and almost always they are happy to share.
I understand that is what âsomeâ people are saying.
However, I feel I have responded to that opinion. I have repeatedly said that in my opinion, listing specific schools and results isnât the point. Repeatedly. And guess what? âSomeâ people repeatedly keep asking the same thing. Not new commenters voicing that opinion for the first time, which is very understandable. Rather, the same people repeatedly ignoring my statement that I donât think the details matter as much as the process. That is what I mean by âdemandingâ.
They asked. I gave my answer. They ask again. And again. And again.
Yet, many other people respond to this thread and never ask that question â because they get it. Or they ask, read my response, and move on to other topics. Only a stubborn few donât respond that positive way.
@EconPop you have been far more gracious, understanding and patient with âsomeâ people than I could have managed. At this point I think it might be better to respond when and how you see fit as you stated before, or not at all, to avoid frustration. Frankly, if post #79 didnât make things clear to âsomeâ people then nothing will.
Personally, I donât need to know your sons chosen schools to find plenty of helpful information in this thread. This site is chock full of threads I find neither relevant nor beneficial to my circumstances. In that case I read and move on to one that is, so simple and yet so difficult for âsomeâ.
? Thank you for keeping this thread going and pushing for positivity. Enjoy your day!
Interesting thread! I hope your student ends up with some good options.
I noticed you mentioned MN and as a Minnesotan with a couple of high schoolers, I am curious (if you decide to share at some point) which school (or schools) in Minnesota he applied to and what the outcome was. I canât think of any that check all his boxes but I can think of several that could be a partial fit and maybe a nice option.
Itâs amazing how different perspectives can be because, I have absolutely seen rude and insensitive comments. The problem is that those who are making the comments can not see that they are being rude and insensitive because they have their own agenda. Because the OP is not conforming to their agenda in the time that they see fit. The OP is not even finished with the Journey, who is to know that some of the questions or requests will not get answered.
People need to be a little more patient IMO. People want to know but they may have to wait until he gets to that part of his journey. The OP has been so accommodating and as far as I see, has answered many questions & not rude at all but then again we can all disagree on who is being rude and who is not. I may have missed something, but I never saw him tell anyone to shut up. I say, let him finish his Journey and see if questions have been answered, if not, ask away.
