<p>I didn’t start quite as early as PackMom, but Happykid was well-aware early on that it would be the local CC or any place that she could make as affordable as the local CC. She looked at the program for her major there, filed the application, and was one and done.</p>
<p>Come transfer time, the rule shifted to Instate University X, Y, or Z, or any place that she could make as affordable as Instate University Z. She applied to Z and a private that she really liked, but when the aid offer came in she kicked that one to the curb with no regrets. She’s delighted with Z.</p>
<p>Told DD that we could afford XX amount out of pocket and that we preferred that she not borrow more than XX amount per year. She is aware that the schools that she is applying to must be a financial fit for our family, as well as an academic and social fit for her.</p>
<p>We have good income (~100K) and live cheaply, and GeekSon is a good student with a relatively lucrative career goal. Before senior year, we guessed that whether he was at a top meets-need school, an in-state public, or an almost-top with merit aid, they would all cost about the same, which would be about twice we had saved up for four years. Turns out we were right about the costs - he had acceptances in all three categories and they DID cost about the same as each other and twice what we had saved up. So our assumption, which proved to be true, was that it wouldn’t be a financial decision, which was very nice. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to afford a private (or OOS public) school which did not give merit OR need, and fortunately all the schools that accepted him offered one or the other. He wants grad school and knows we don’t plan to help. </p>
<p>So what we told him was how much money was in the 529s and that we’d do our best after that without taking loans or stealing from 401Ks, but we weren’t making any promises. He understood all along that he was pretty much on his own for junior and senior year. That isn’t the wisest way to go about things possibly, but with our income, his probable income, and the last-resort possibility of begging from relatives, it seemed (and still seems) ok to us.</p>
<p>We were disappointed to find out how much loans he would have to take out that weren’t part of EFC - we had thought that all those $5500 Staffords would be PART of the EFC.</p>
<p>We did the “X” school or better. We will cover in- state school (great school) costs to be compared to offers from similarly academic ranked schools. </p>
<p>Or if a fantastic school offer showed up that was WAY more academically proclaimed we would consider it even if more expensive. We’d weigh that option when the opportunity appeared.</p>
<p>Almost always, the Stafford loans are included in the aid package, leaving the total family EFC (which includes the individual student ESC) intact. If an institution has a formal no-loan policy, or if there was a merit scholarship that meets the family’s full need, then the student/family can use the Stafford loan to cover part/all of the EFC.</p>
<p>We gave a top amount we could pay. We did not reserve “the right” to make our kids take the cheapest option. We asked only that they stick to the budget. We also made it very clear that we were paying for FOUR years of college and no more. </p>
<p>Our kids knew our criteria before we even started looking at colleges.</p>
<p>We said, “We can pay up to X. Beyond that, the amount of debt you want to assume is up to you.” (Of course, we’re not consigning anything, to debt could be no more than maximum stafford). No, I didn’t/wouldn’t make either one accept the least expensive option. No, they don’t get the balance of anything saved. But, if they come in under budget, we will help with a car or outright purchase one or fund a school study abroad experience.</p>
<p>“We told our kids we would pay the equivalent of the cost of our instate flagship, and anything above that would be their responsibility” - I started saying that many years before college, after reading an article that explained it is good to do so early to avoid senior year disappointments. </p>
<p>In the end we are paying more for one for a good fit (we can w/o hardship)… but he has some skin in the game too.</p>
<p>We told DS we have a combined x dollars saved for all 3 kids college education . The max we can come up with is about x year without using any of the x dollars saved although it would really tough. Since you are the oldest of 3 and at least 2 of you will end up in college at the same time we would appreciate it if you picked a school that cost less than that so that way we can 1. keep the savings as a cushion in case dad ( the only one working) loses his job. 2. hopefully save some more money toward your younger brothers college. If you pick a school over x/year you will need to take out loans and we will not cosign any loans. </p>
<p>DS applied and had a number of choices under that amount. He decided on Georgia Tech and with the Zell Miller Scholarship will cost less than 15,000/year. I am glad we had that conversion with him before he started applying to colleges. I can’t imagine having to tell him after he got in somewhere “Oh by the way we can’t afford that much”</p>
<p>We also told him if he did co-op’s then it was fine if it took him 5 years to get out instead of 4.</p>
<p>My mom said none of those options. She made me aware of her financial situation, my college fund, and that would support me as much as she could. I just kept that in the back of my mind during my college process. I knew whatever wasn’t covered in my find I would have to get through scholarships. Worked out pretty well. I’m expected to be getting money back every semester. </p>
<p>I believe if my mom said you have X amount if money that you could have I would feel either constrained or entitle to that exact amount of money. Allowing your child to form an idea of what is a sensible amount is a wiser choice to me. Gives the child a bit of responsibility an independence.</p>
<p>We told both kids we’d pay for any school they wanted to go to, but we hoped that whatever they picked was “worth the money”. Meaning no obscure small school that was full pay, unless they had a strong desire to go there (ie just loved the school or had a particular program that they really wanted). In the end, they chose their reach schools, which of course offered no merit or financial aid. But they’ve been very happy, the schools are just perfect for them, and we’re definitely deeming it, “worth the money”.</p>
<p>While we’d saved almost nothing for college, fortunately we both got promotions right around the time the oldest started college, therefore covering it without loans. Otherwise, it would have been very tough.</p>
<p>Co-ops earn money while not requiring payment of school tuition during the semester spent at the co-op. A 9 semester graduation with 1 semester in co-op (or 10 semester graduation with 2 semesters in co-ops) is really effectively an 8 semester graduation as far as school expenses go (assuming financial aid and scholarships go by semesters, not calendar years).</p>
<p>We told D we could contribute $x and we expected her to contribute $x. We had the budget talk often. She has received offers over and under that amount. She was free to pick any college within budget. She did have two offers that we’re essentially room and board with a couple thousand as tuition. We did not force her to select those schools. D did feel guilty as she was finalizing her decision but we sat her down and explained this is what we wanted to do with our money, it is why we have lived beneath our means.</p>
<p>We were option 2. We told our kids we could afford X amount of money, which was the cost of a good OOS public school. They knew before formulating their lists that, if they chose a private school, they’d have to make up the difference in a combination of merit aid and Stafford loans. Stafford only because we wouldn’t have signed off on them (us) borrowing more. Each had a least one part-time job and a modest amount of savings to contribute.</p>
<p>When we said X amount, we meant it. If they chose less expensive options, they had the remainder for summer study, grad school, a car - whatever they chose. Two chose the good OOS public school (same one); one chose a generous merit aid offer and help with summer study and grad school. All had less expensive options.</p>
<p>We were pretty frugal while they were growing up, and they were pleased and surprised (amazed, really) at what we could afford, so much so that they didn’t pine for schools outside of that amount.</p>
<p>I don’t think I’d really decided what I’m thinking when I posted this. I think there are lots of good ideas here.</p>
<p>S is still in 8th grade, so we haven’t had a lot of conversations. So far I’ve told him that I think he’ll have good options, but that money will be part of the decision. I felt like it’s important to get that on the table early. I should be able to pay for our state flagship with no aide, and like the idea of telling him that he needs to match that tuition or contribute, but I think it’s too early to make that decision. Our flagship is great, but it’s also very large and hard to get into. I don’t know yet whether I think he’d thrive there. </p>