<p>We estimated that we could give them each $25K per year and then looked hard at our kids’ preferences, strengths, goals, COA, and likely financial aid at different colleges. The evaluation produced a list of schools that would not break the bank and yet had quality programs in their fields of interest. We stressed that it’d be a good idea to graduate debt-free given that student loans can’t be forgiven and the job market isn’t what it used to be.</p>
<p>Husband and I had full time jobs in college. We were both majoring in CS, managed to graduate in 5 years. H had no debt, I owed $1300 (too many shoes). We do not want the kids to go thru the same experiences. It forces us to save and save just in case. We are lucky to live in an area with great colleges including the junior ones. We assume that the kids would go to one of the state schools. D turns out to be an “unusual” student. Small LACs may provided a better learning experiences.</p>
<p>We visited Reed earlier this week. The price tag for this year is 62K compared to 55k last year. I do want want to think about the final total cost. Is it “worth your money” school?</p>
<p>I have a follow up question.</p>
<p>When did you have these conversations with your kid? Some people have said 8th grade. Is that consensus or did other people wait until later?</p>
<p>My kid knows that there are college savings for him, he also knows that money will be a factor in the decision. He’s very budget conscious, and has told me that his plan is to go to community college because someone told him that’s the cheapest, so we’ve talked about how cost isn’t the only factor. I’ve also told him that I think there’s a lot of value in living on campus and that that is one thing I absolutely think is worth paying for. </p>
<p>However, we haven’t had any conversations about dollars and cents.</p>
<p>The money conversation did NOT happen soon enough in our household. While I am proud of him maintaining a straight A GPA thru 4 years…the $$$ lesson (debt vs income) is just as valuable. Our DS got his driver’s license at 16, had his fuel and insurance paid for in full by DH thru Soph and Senior years. Despite the fact that he has a part time job (10-15 hours/week)…I do not think this method really taught him the ‘value of the dollar’…because our college $$$ talks have been a bit stifled</p>
<p>We have never had to have a specific money conversation with the kids. We’ve always been upfront with them on money issues - they know we have money saved up for college - they know that we would pay for them to attend any school - but it had to be reasonable. We don’t spend extravagantly on anything and wouldn’t with college either, unless we deemed it “worth it”. While looking at schools with D, we came up with a list of schools where admission and merit money was very feasible. She liked all these schools. She did add on a couple of reach schools where merit money was not available at all. We knew we’d be full-pay at these schools if she got in. She didn’t get in and picked one of her merit money schools (the difference in the four schools was around 15K - but we told her it didn’t matter to us). We will do the same for S when it is his turn. Both kids are very aware of money and “value”.</p>
<p>I think the college money talk is like the sex talk – something that’s ongoing and that you build on as information becomes necessary. </p>
<p>In eighth grade, if they’re already talking about college, I’d let him know that you have college savings for him and that cost will be a factor in the final decision, then leave it at that. In early years of HS, give more information as needed/wanted. Junior year is when you really have to sit down and look at the cost of the schools he’s considering and talk about value and choices and what your outer limits are and what he would be expected to contribute, etc.</p>
<p>I don’t see the point in having a major discussion in eighth grade when so much could change in the family’s financial picture.</p>
<p>IMHO I think you should begin talking to your kids when they are very young. Part of their allowance goes towards “college savings”, and it’s very cute how much they like to say they have for college-right now they have enough for 1/4 of one text book I imagine in their piggy banks. </p>
<p>I got hooked on CC a few years ago helping my SIL and nieces with their college searches–my own kids are in early elementary school. I’m so glad I did! We are putting a lot more in our kids 529’s than we would have if we were still under the impression college costs were similar as when we were in school. I wish more people knew the realities of college costs while their kids are young enough to do something about savings.<br>
Both of my nieces had friends who were heart broken at the end of their senior years by being blindsided by the reality they couldn’t afford their “dream schools” </p>
<p>We have 3 kids, twins and a daughter 20 mos older so they will all be in college at the same time, and our goal is to be able to have enough saved for them to have options/choices when the time comes. My dad was able to pay for all 5 of his kids college educations. 4 out of the 5 chose in state big public schools. I found a small LAC that cost much more but my parents agreed to pay or it and I’m eternally grateful and that is exactly why we are scrimping now when we can to put more and more away for their educations and we’re very fortunate to be able to do that.</p>
<p>Sorry about the paragraph problems above. Technical difficulties lol</p>
<p>We started talking about colleges two years ago when oldest son was in 8th grade and younger son was in 7th grade. We went over different types of degrees (associates, bachelor’s etc), length of time for them, general admissions requirements, etc. At that time both kids were already pretty sure they’d go to 4 year college and older DS was planning on graduate school but they did not have much of an understanding of the specifics. We also talked about high school courses of study, AP classes, dual enrollment, SATs but we didn’t discuss the specifics of costs as I honestly did not know much at that time. Since then I have gained quite the education on the financial aid (thanks CCers!), costs, etc and I have continued to pass on interesting bits of info, as they arise, to the kids and DH. </p>
<p>This year, older son is finishing up 10th grade and we have started to talk specifically about college costs (State U costs 8k per year in tuition only and dream tech school costs >50K–DS’s face was so sad after that statement), EFC, our income, where we have wiggle room, how much we have saved for them, in state tuition versus out of state, public vs. private, potential scholarships, selectivity, attributes of a school that might make it a good fit, etc. We have not committed to any specific dollar amount. We have some factors that make EFC hard to predict. </p>
<p>We also talk about making decisions in high school that focus on allowing their high school experience worthy in its own right (a time to solidify basic educational foundations and explore areas of interest), as opposed to just being a stepping stone on the way to Univ. I know both kids want to apply to selective schools and even though they may have a decent chance, within 2-3 years, the acceptance rates will only be scarier. If they don’t get in or we can’t afford it, I don’t want them to feel as though all their high school work was for nothing. We are also working on learning more about different schools in the kids areas of interest but this is hard as they generally are drawn to online classes offered by the likes of Stanford and MIT (one wants to go into computer science and one wants to go into physics).</p>
<p>Lots of great responses do far … </p>
<p>The one additional related topic parents should think through in advance is what your response will be if your child’s first preference is a choice that meets your initial financial constraints however, in addition, has a BIG merit aid offer from another school. How will you handle this … the kid decides, you make them take the money, does the kid get to keep some of the merit savings if they take the offer, etc? </p>
<p>Again, no right or wrong answers but lots of differing possible solutions … and a lot of highly accomplished students on CC will end up with choices of full pay (or big pay) at highly selective school A or big merit to very nice school B.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Starting at community college can certainly be an option if academically appropriate, although he should consider that if he does well enough in high school and standardized tests, he may come up with a big enough scholarship at a four year school that would make it cheaper than 2 years at community college + 2 years at a four year school (where the big scholarships tend to be less available for transfers).</p>
<p>I.e. don’t rule out the start-at-community-college option, but don’t automatically assume that it is always going to be cheaper.</p>
<p>Interesting thread! My parents told me when I started high school that they very much wanted me to go to college but that they very much didn’t want to pay for it. Mom went to state u on a sports scholarship, and Dad went to local community college and paid for it from working as a self-taught though officially certified electrician and carpenter. </p>
<p>So basically, I had the two mentalities of “excel in something (sport or academics) and get it paid for,” or “work hard and do things yourself, getting a degree just to compliment it.” </p>
<p>I went the “get a full ride to a respectable state u” route, but if I hadn’t, I bet I’d be at community college working my way to a better school. I think working hard (either for money or scholarships) builds a certain kind of outlook in you that it helps you realize you should live within your means, even if that means a kid looking for colleges within their parents’ budgets.</p>
<p>Sorry, I certainly didn’t mean to imply that community college isn’t a great option. I know kids for whom it was the perfect option. It might end up being the right option for my kid, although I’m still a big fan of living away from home as a young person.</p>
<p>However, I have a kid who is very eager to please, and very protective of his single mom. It’s in his nature that he’ll want to protect me from paying too much. I want to make sure that “how much does it cost?” isn’t the only question he’s asking in the college hunt. If he decides that community college has the right courses, or that it works in other ways, I’d be delighted. But while cost will be a factor in our decision, I don’t want it to be the only factor, and I don’t want him settling without at least exploring all his options.</p>
<p>My son’s always known our financial situation pretty well, including that our “thriftiness / cheapness / total tightwad tendencies” made it bearable when I was underemployed for several years. Frugality is bred into him, and he knows how much we earn and how much we save.</p>
<p>Curious, my kids are very sweet, too, and conscious of our limited funds as well. Letting him know that it’s OK to spend some money on college, that it’s an investment in his future, will be key. I think because he’s sooo conscious of college expenses, I wouldn’t talk about it a lot, or it takes on greater significance. I mean, it IS significant, but your sweet ds gets that already so no need to pour it on, kwim?</p>
<p>“We visited Reed earlier this week. The price tag for this year is 62K compared to 55k last year. I do want want to think about the final total cost. Is it “worth your money” school?”</p>
<p>First, I think they must be including all the extras (estimated books, transportation costs, fees) in the 62K figure, and not the 55K number. Otherwise, that would be a crazy increase. I personally would only think it “worth the money” if my daughter loved it like nothing else, and it was far away her top choice.</p>
<p>We looked into it for about a minute for our older son. While they have an awesome academic reputation, with one of the highest numbers of grads going on to get PhD’s, we found the majors too limiting. Only way to get comp sci, engineering, was to partner up with another school and take an extra year to graduate. That seems to be the only way to get those degrees at the smaller liberal arts schools. Another serious turnoff was the reputation for an open drug use, tolerated for decades.</p>
<p>If I was going to spend that kind of money for an intellectual kid, I’d probably look at U Chicago, and some of the better known top LAC’s on the east coast. Just my opinion…unless she was crazy about it, not worth that kind of money.</p>
<p>Even the “top” LACs tend to have more limited course and major offerings than big RUs. However, some LACs handle the course offering limitations by having cross-registration with nearby big RUs (e.g. Barnard - Columbia, Amherst - Umass Amherst, etc.).</p>
<p>So many great responses. </p>
<p>In our case, we told the kids earlier on that we would fully pay for their education including grad/professional schools. Having kids much later in life, our parenting style is a little more open and different than the parents of our kids’ friends. Our kids knows how much have been set aside for their colleges. The money is reserved for their education only.</p>
<p>@busdriver11–You are right, the 62k is for everything, last year the 55k was also for everything. So far, D has not met a subject that she does not enjoy, lol. She attended 3 classes at Reed, came out and told us that there were 15 kids just like her. She loved the discussions and interactions between professors and students. The only draw back was that there were many smokers on campus. Will look at other schools as you suggested. It has been many years since we graduated from college. Thanks!</p>
<p>I’m sure you’ll find plenty of schools she’ll like, worrytoomuch. And maybe she will fall in love with Reed above all others. But the drug use I was talking about wasn’t smoking…google it, I saw almost 24 million results. Maybe someone from that college can address it for you on their forum, it really turned us off. But I’m sure it wouldn’t bother other people.</p>
<p>There are plenty of great schools out there. If your daughter is a high achieving scholar, and you are full pay, she will have plenty of choices, that’s for sure. She sounds like a fantastic kid!</p>