@YoungThriver i feel like(or hope) the schools will take it with a grain of salt because it is not very accurate and barely any students have taken it
@ilovechoateeeee Andover is the only school that I know of that places any emphasis on that test—and they don’t place much.
I don’t understand how they can assess a student’s personality based off of that test alone. I could have been untruthful for all they know.
@CaliMex I really appreciate this comment, however I think the notion of an overriding “culture” is overdone at most Top 10-15 schools. There may be a faint, broad cultural theme at each school, but it is usually overwhelmed by campus sub-cultures. Each of these top schools has a lot of diversity, students from abroad, and students that fit various buckets (music, lacrosse, debate, robotics etc.). One can attend the preppiest school (starts with a “D”), and yet hang out with artsy or intellectual kids, or those in the environmental action group. As people on CC often say, you will find “your peeps”.
I also caution people to shy away from extrapolating too much. I’ve read several “some kids on campus seemed arrogant on our tour” threads. Generalizing from anecdotal and possibly misconstrued incidents is risky.
These schools have FAR more in common than distinctions.
^I will have to disagree with this. I think @CaliMex is on point. Being diverse on paper is one thing, but the proof is in the pudding when you visit. That is why we all stress visiting the schools and getting a feel for the vibe. There are distinct differences in the culture of schools - DS can tell right away when he steps on another campus for sports competitions.
If you noticed an “off” for you upon visitation, odds are that behavior is more of a norm at that school than an outlier.
@YoungThriver same
Just to add one caveat - if it is raining or snowing the day you visit, kids and faculty may be rushing to class and keeping their heads down. Also, if you visit in the summer, you may be seeing summer camps going on - not actual students on campus. Some schools offer overnight visit opportunities. These are great ways to get a sense of what the “vibe” may be and to meet more students than your tour guide. We visited one school during spirit week and the kids were dressed in funny PJ’s - we were not told by the AO that this was spirit week, so we were a bit confused when we saw kids walking to class in their PJ bottoms 
@BordDuLac I agree that schools can have different groups and subcultures, but you should still try to note:
- What is the dominant culture and which are the subcultures? This can vary greatly. (In other words, are the preppy kids or artsy kids the norm or the subgroup?
- How much interaction and mixing is there between groups. We saw some dining halls where kids sat by grade and others where kids chose to sit by “type”: Jocks over here, theater kids over there, kids of color that way…
- This one is hard to surmise without asking around: Are there cliques or friend groups? How comfortable are kids approaching or hanging out with people who are not in their little group? Do they feel welcomed?
i really regret not applying to more boarding schools. i have a very good LPS but i just want to live at school with my friends! also, because i’ve been moving around so much in the past 3 years (3 schools and 2 states), i haven’t made that many close friends and i hope that at boarding school i will make friends whom i am very close with
FYI @BordDuLac - before anyone jumps to quick conclusions…we visited one well -known NE school on a day where every girl sitting together in a certain section of the dining hall appeared tall and sporty. Another section had larger guys all sitting together at a couple of tables. One could surmise that this was a clique. Actually, it was the volley ball team sitting together and the football team at another couple of tables. The school had the teams sitting together at lunch before a big weekend of games to promote “spirit”. FWIW, the school we assumed would be the most preppy and excluding was actually the most inclusive in the dining hall and in the athletic center. The most diverse group of kids talking with each other, doing homework, and getting ready for sports…Keep an open mind… You never know [-X
I’m gonna go with “it depends”. I think smaller schools are more susceptible to dominant cliches, attitudes and dramatic swings in the dominant culture. It’s just a statistical phenomenon - if “N” for the school community is small, you may not find your “n” peeps in the community due to sampling error. Instead, you may find sampling error results in a very unique dominant culture relative to other schools (which if small, have the same issue). And for similar statistical reasons, that dominant culture can change year to year. For larger schools, the “N” will allow much better probability of including all/most subcultures and a higher likelihood of finding your “n” peeps in the community.
You also have to be very cautious inferring too much from the “feel” of a single interview visit and tour. We’re talking about kids’ and parents’ perceptions, which are filtered through their preconceived notions, biases, inflated “hopes and dreams”, and often a whole lot of anxiety about the interview, travel, etc. I personally think that if a school has been well researched and an objective match, you shouldn’t drop it from your list due to a visit that didn’t live up to expectations. That’s why the revisits are so important. Seeing the school twice is still not perfect, but it’s better than only once.
My kid goes to a tiny school with a very strong and deliberate culture based on the concepts of Honor, Fairness, Kindness, and Truth. If you talked to the faculty who attended the school themselves years ago, and there are several, they would probably tell you that the core culture is the same now as it was then, even though the facilities, programs, and demographics have evolved. Kids are encouraged to take risks in the classroom, on the athletic field, in the great outdoors, and through the horse program. It is an incredibly friendly and warm community. There ARE friend groups, but there are no cliques. And there is very strong but positive peer pressure to do the right thing, even when no one is looking. Kids also downplay their family’s wealth or status. (Whether you grew up rich or poor, you get up at dawn to muck your horse’s stall.)
The culture does NOT change greatly year to year as @Altras implied. Maybe that is true of smaller schools with less distinct or deliberate cultures or at larger schools where it might get watered down?
Again, I have to agree with @CaliMex on this one (this really doesn’t happen that often, I swear). DS goes to a very small school…I see less cliques there than in large public’s schools or local day schools. I truly believe it is largely based on the administrative culture and the student body they deliberately create. Hence, each school has its own “vibe”, it’s own sense. And whether that be preppy, hipster, jock-ish, privileged, liberal or conservative…it will still distinguish that school from another, although both may be identical on the proverbial tick-sheet.
And one visit may or may not be completely indicative of the school, it may be enough for you to know whether or not you could live there or call it home. It was for us on many occasions.
Firstly, I apologize if my comment came off as offensive toward small schools. That was not at all my intention. My kids attend(ed) a small K-8 school that is great, but has a more distinct culture than larger schools in our area. The likelihood of being more distinct was my main point; though we have personally seen much less cultural stability at our K-8 school than has been my personal experience at large schools.
That being said, I don’t personally make assumptions about cultural stability after an interview, a revisit and a child attending for about 4 months. I also know that I am not the individual who is actually there experiencing the culture day to day, so I am cautious to make strong assertions. Furthermore, I do not make assumptions about how my child would have done at the schools he got a bad vibe from during interviews, the schools he didn’t get accepted to, and the schools he turned down. He’d probably be just fine and I could share wonderful stories of those schools, but we’ll never know.
While our entire family noted differences in the feel of each school we visited, those differences (in our opinion) were subtle. There were not critically important, hidden cultural clues to future success or failure, that we had to find or we would have made a terrible mistake and our son would have ended up at one of those schools with all of those mean, privileged bullies. There are many “right” answers to the question of “which school is right for me?” and many schools and student bodies that demonstrate wonderful values. There is not just one such school. I fully support the importance of finding a good fit, but believe there are a number of great fits and great schools for each kid.
@Altras It is also possible that you visited or considered a smaller range of schools? We looked at both co-Ed and all girls schools in the South, New England, Mid-Atlantic, and California… We saw big differences in school cultures and even in the heads of schools’ sense of mission/purpose…
Geez, whichever school my own kid attends has the best culture. Quite obviously. 8-|
@Altras I was never offended…I just didn’t agree with some nuances of your statements. There have been horror stories of kids who ended up in schools with a culture that was so wrong for them, they floundered and eventually had to leave (both on CC forum and behind the scenes). It breaks my heart to think of an impressionable kid to have to go through that (not to mention the turmoil it causes the family) that I would hope to make applicants aware prior to submitting their final applications. Schools can be very identical on paper but very different in operation. And the visit really is very important.
Where some kids would be in their perfect place, others would be a fish out of water. DS absolutely is in a perfect place for him…but DD is looking elsewhere, because she isn’t sure it’s the right fit for her. It is no fault or blemish of the school…it is the difference of personality in my children.
And @GoatMama was most likely being a bit snarky (I hope so, because I love a bit of snark) but there’s a ton of truth to her statement. If the weeding out process is done right, the child will bloom where planted.
@CaliMex very helpful and agree with your observations. If what you say is true, and I have no reason to be doubtful, I kinda wish the kid could have applied to the school you are referencing!?
While the size of the school matters, EVERY school has its cliques, in crowd and peer groups. It’s not all bad. My kids attended a very small school prior to BS and while everyone got along well, it was really hard to find your peeps. This means that kids have a hard time if they have an interest finding someone else who is interested in that also. Having really good friends based on interests is important and we saw that year after year, the size prevented this from happening. The one positive about a very small school is there seemed to be very little bullying. Gossip was still there.
Honestly, a tiny school wouldn’t have been something of interest to us or the kids for BS. They had outgrown it. There was a certain number of kids ( different for everyone) that my kid wanted to have in high school.
Some kids like larger schools which beyond having more resources also have more types of kids due to sheer numbers. Others like very small schools. That’s the reason you have tiny colleges and large universities.
There might be a reason why many boarding schools are about 100 kids per grade. Maybe people have figured out over the years that is a good number of people (about 500) which together with teachers and staff form a community.
I’m waiting till my kid has been at BS for at least a few years before I make sweeping statements about the community. It takes a while for a kid ( and parents) to learn about what is actually happening. Even two visits doesn’t tell you the complete story. I’m glad some people think that schools can create a community which thrives across decades.
Maybe I’m just more of a realist about what the school says vs. what the school does and how classes vary based on the kids in it. I like to observe for a long time before I come to conclusions. I have often found that the most interesting aspects of people and things reveal themselves slowly.
@Happytimes2001 THANK YOU! I was already getting the hives from all the armchair expertise on BS cultures.
@goatmama Sure. I just think putting on rose colored glasses is never wise when you are a parent. I’m happy to wear them once retired, however.