It really helps to have insights from legacy families who have had multiple children attend and graduate. They have an excellent perspective on how a culture feels to different kinds of kids and in which ways it has changed (or not) over the years.
@Calimex Maybe, but confirmation bias exists. Just reading CC, many people argue back and forth about their school being the best. How do they know if they didn’t attend the other schools? I attended multiple colleges and two graduate programs. All have their strengths and weaknesses.
I think it’s great to talk to families who’ve had multiple kids at a school if you can. You can get great insight into the teaching, sports, arts, etc. But things do change over the years. Kids are different than they were 20 years ago. Technology has changed things. Again, nothing is static. And I’m always wary of culture as opposed to how the school fits for you and your family. Many schools which are trying to impose a “culture” are essentially mandating a dominant way of thinking and if you don’t agree or want to color outside the lines, it could be tough for you or your kids. We found one school like that and ran quickly out the door. Some people loved it. Great. It’s a fit for their framework. Not for us.
Education for our family isn’t about school culture, it’s about learning. Learning new things, pushing your limits and learning from others. It’s about trying new things and being open to other people’s ideas. And for my BS kid, it’s always about listening to both sides of an issue. When both sides aren’t represented/are limited it can be problematic for kiddo.
@CaliMex I am smiling while reading your post because I tried to share historical perspectives or generational perspectives of a school with kiddo while on tours. I had friends in college who had attended various boarding schools in the 1970’s. I had the opportunity to show kiddo the year books of my friends’ schools during our campus visits. WOW! School culture in the 1970’s - I somehow forgot what we did. Boys in the year books with photos of them smoking and drinking beer. Girls smoking, also. One school with boys and girls in a bathtub. One school with racy reference to a certain Photography teacher.
Well, if these posts haven’t helped with those freaking out about NOT getting into BS, they certainly will help parents freak out about their kids actually getting in. Apropos either way!! =))
All schools have a dominant culture. Some of it is intentional… and some of it is accidental. Some schools are more focused and deliberate in encouraging certain values. Others are more laissez faire. I don’t think there is a “best” culture, though some cultures might align more with your family values or be better suited for your individual kid.
Our school culture pushes kids way out of their comfort zone (no one loves getting up at dawn to muck a stall!) And Thacher kids are pushed to take risks (most have never been on a horse before attending and they are competing in crazy cowboy-style races at a schoolwide Gymkhana by Spring!) It is NOT for the faint at heart! But It attracts kids with an adventurous spirit. I doubt the advent of technology has changed that, though I’m sure it has affected lots of other aspects.
My fingers are crossed that this year’s applicants will have lots of schools to choose from and that when they revisit, they will be able to observe more closely and ask more thoughtful questions as a result of this thread’s slight detour into school cultures…
@buuzn03 I was thinking the same thing yesterday - How did the last several pages of posts end up on the Official M10 2019 Freak Out thread? Maybe not exactly the mental Valium that current applicants and their parents are looking for. @-)
I’ll just throw in a “there, there” for good measure!
It is funny, though, because the only reason I even popped over to this thread was because I thought about some schools’ deadlines looming and wondered how everyone was faring. I somewhat have regretted it.
But in the spirit of the next few weeks…GREAT JOB EVERYONE! You’ve done what you could do—so go immerse yourselves in something else until M10!!! And GOOD LUCK!!!
I have been following this thread and have also been thinking that the parent takeover on here was worse than last year, lol. Great discussion, though.
Thankfully I have no kids applying this year, but next year I’ll have one going through the process, so I will have more to contribute to the 2020 freak out thread. 
Good for parents and kids to see all that goes on and what parents are thinking when they chose a school.
I do think that this “Freakout Thread” has it’s own unique vibe and as @dramakid2 observed, it’s a bit different from last year. Finding humor in situations was one way our family dealt with the pre-March 10 “freak out”…Looking at the old yearbooks at the schools was one way we added some humor to campus visits, and it was fun for kiddo to see the “culture” back in the ‘70’s (example, ‘what was this Cone Head thing all about?”).
Well, if it makes any of y’all feel better, I have a year and a half to return to this nonsense and I’m already freaking out!!! Of course, it will be dual BS/college apps. Fair warning—I’ll be even more of a hot mess than usual!!!
I sort of overlook the fact that CTKid2 is applying currently, but he does not seem freaked out. I am mildly freaked out, because we’ve done all the things everyone is counseled not to do. After considering a couple of BSs, he is applying to only one LDS. We have no good public school alternative, and we are way past the deadline for the local Catholic school, in which he had no interest. We have no great plan if he’s not accepted. He’s a great kid but has some LDs and needs academic support, and his SSATs are the lowest I have ever seen mentioned on CC. I assume he’s in the lower half of his current class and always will be, but where he’s applying it won’t matter — it’s a unique place with a huge variety of kids. I feel pretty comfortable that he will get in, but I will certainly be freaking out quietly up till M10. Such a different experience than 2 years ago!
My second will be applying at the same time the first is applying to college. I will die. I suppose I can hope for early sports commitment but I kind of hate that rat race.
@dogsmama1997 that will be me! I’m already freaked out about it…but for the scheduling of visits, I’m hoping the school will handle most of buuznkid1’s college stuff. Because I really don’t know that I can do both. :-SS
last 2 years when I applied, I couldn’t be more indifferent. my parents were the ones who were worrying, but now they couldn’t care less and I’m the one who’s stressed out all the time!
57 days!
Enjoy looking forward to M10. When you get old it’s April 15 that you count the days until…and not because you’re looking forward to it. ~X(
Today’s a great day to find out that my mom has barely started her parent statement maybe procrastinating runs in the family?
oh my…how many does she have to write? @egnatius
AAAAAAGH @Altras why did you have to mention the dreaded April 15??? I can’t even…I have expense receipts piled on my desk as we speak, but can’t bring myself to start…ok. Now I’m really freaking out!