Otoh, @Calliemomofgirls , my mother will forever be convinced that L’ville is a place wealthy people send their kids to keep them out of juvie. All based on one neighbor… Perhaps she was the target audience!
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oh I agree with this piece of it! Just to clarify – there ARE myths being busted here and this (boarding school is for “problem kids”) is indeed one of them. That is NOT my problem with the piece.
My problem, regarding that one “myth,” is that they called out “divorced families” as being lumped in that category. As if “divorced kids” are some kind of undesirable population, and we need to get the word out that “good kids with married parents” actually DO go to BS! :).
Like I said…some decent, accurate info (such as the myth you mention about your mother), but lots of little “off” elements that makes me dislike the piece overall.
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I agree that the wording can be better.
Anecdotal evidence suggests percentage of kids from single parent families in BS is quite high. Could be much higher than in a a typical school with similar income profile. I have not seen stats on this one though.
So to add to the stress of figuring out the best place to land, grow and thrive we now need to say No to a coach that has been courting our son as a athletic recruit. The school is in a beautiful location (but kind of far for a day trip), pretty campus and nice people, the coaches are amazing but we are concerned if he ever got injured what there would be there for him. Also the place he will most likely go to (St. Mark’s) has an overall better academic rep and is so much closer. However over the past few months not more than 3-4 days have gone by where we are not hearing from him via text, email or post. On revisit day he was there asking and encouraging. So now the stress and major guilt of having to say No to him - or having our son say No - is killing me! Any advice on how to handle? Coach text son this morning asking to talk one more time this weekend so we kicked the can down the road and said sure we can chat on Sunday…or should we just call him on Saturday?
We had to handle this situation a few years ago and ultimately, my husband ended up making the phone call. It was really tough and the coach didn’t take it too well (more sad than mad). My daughter wrote him a long thank you note the following day. They see each other at Nepsacs, etc and still talk and catch up years later so the relationship is still friendly. I know it’s hard, though!
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- I would dread this call and feel awkward too 2) I doubt the coach will be surprised since you clearly have been dragging your feet (not in a bad way). 3) Do NOT feel guilty. This is how the system works. It has happened to the coach before, and will again.
I’d get the call over with and you will feel better, and he can potentially reach out to someone else before Monday from WL if needed. (But don’t rush a decision because of that).
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I understand that you feel bad but it is part of the process. I am sure there are people at the schools that feel bad about some of the prospective students they really liked but had to put on the waitlist. This whole process has some very difficult aspects. Good luck with the conversation. If the coach responds in any way other than professionally then maybe you “dodged a bullet”.
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Thank you to the three different responses to my dilemma, I really really appreciate it. We go between having my husband make the call and our son, trying to figure out if it would be a good growing opportunity or not but of course that does depend on how gracious the coach is. I think he might have an idea as he has texted 2x today already but it also shows to us the strength of our son’s resolve to go elsewhere. And I will definitely have him write a letter to the coach because it is a small world and we are sure to see him at tournaments and elsewhere. Appreciate the chance to share my concerns!
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I would emphasize in the conversation that he was one the reasons it was so hard to make the decision - he did a great job of connecting with your family and representing the school. You may want to have your son send him a note expressing appreciation for his support and belief in him.
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We faced a similar situation with our son. We had him call each coach first, and then separately my husband spoke to the coaches, too. I think this happens a lot - often kids have to cast a pretty wide net at first to find the right combo of athletics (playing time /development), academics, community, and location - and wind up with a few compelling offers. Each coach my son spoke with was very gracious and I think it was a good learning experience, to go through all the steps in that process (even when it was a hard phone call to make). Good luck!
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I can relate on this one. It is a tough thing to do as it happened to me today. My daughter is not even a musician or athletic but we had this AO who was very good to us and really wanted our daughter to join the school. Was communicating with us almost everyday when were applying and gave us few extensions too such as when we were late to present one of the recommendation letter. It was hurting my daughter too as the school is very good but there are few things were not available so we knew it was not the school for us. But I have scored a new friend. We have arranged that will come to visit us one weekend after the Easter break.
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I think it is part of the many lessons the kids are learning throughout the process. So many administrators have been vested in our children, but they do this for a living and will/ should ultimately be very gracious.
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It’s tough but your child should make the call, not the parent. They can email or text and ask for a time to speak. They say thank you so much for all of the time, Effie and support but I’ve made a decision that best fits me and my family and if there’s an easy reason (size of school, location of school, more FA) share it. It’s good practice for college recruiting but just more better coming from the athlete. Both of mine play against coaches who recruited them and most of them have made a point to speak to our children when they’ve played since they left things on good terms. Also, your child never knows where they may see this coach again—coaching changing at boarding schools, a move to a college position, etc,
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Anyone else still undecided ?! Getting down to wire now…and down to 2 very different choices! ugh. Just venting, no real obvious answer…
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Yes! Is Andover really worth it?
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Yes, we are!!
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I really want to thank all of you for your advice and support regarding declining an offer from a very interested coach! My son made the call this weekend to decline the offer and while it was very very difficult it went so well and the coach was gracious. It was a great learning and growing opportunity for our son and really one of the most difficult decisions and things he has had to do!
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Pressed the wrong button! Just meant to give it a thumbs-up. Very impressive of your athlete to call the coach.
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Lol no worries thank you for clarifying that!
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After completing a Parents’ Financial Statement (PFS), the School and Student Services (SSS) site generates a Family Report that provides guidance on the appropriate level of family contribution toward education expenses. I am curious to know whether prep schools typically offer financial aid packages that are lower, higher, or similar to the suggested contribution level. My DS is planning to apply for prep schools next year.