"the" school?

College Majors Musical Theater Major
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<p>Well, if I were to make a list of everything right down to what the drive is like, we'd have found the school, except for ONE BIG PART and that is the price tag.</p>

<p>I don't want to go into detail but there may or may not be a real nice surprise. I mean it is known to happen but whether it will to us we will know later, I guess.</p>

<p>I'm kind of bummed out because I'm afraid I'll be comparing the one we know we can afford and that's not good. It's a good school but to be honest this other one just has a stronger program, I think - it's not well known - but I am very very impressed and D came out of the audition feeling completely different than at any of the other ones.</p>

<p>Must keep repeating the mantra of no loan, no loan, no loan...even that piddly five thousand a year wouldn't make the difference anyway. We might if we just had to, let her take those out of absolute last resort, but adding those extra ones on top - no. Hell no. One of the clerks in financial aid suggested a "backup" major so she could afford to pay off extra loans, to which I wanted to say "then why don't you just shut down the theater department" because ARG but I just left that whole thing there. People who have desk jobs to pay off large loans probably don't want to hear about how you don't want your kid to have to do that, so I didn't say anything more.</p>

<p>I'm hoping I didn't do her a disservice by getting her hopes up but you know, it can't be the right thing to look at only the ONE school you know you can afford and not even try for the others, can it? Of course we didn't get acceptances to the handful (what, two?) of Texas PUBLIC (read: we can afford) schools with well known BFA MT's. So in Texas if you aren't one of the lucky two dozen you are outta luck. Stupid Texas. Needs more MT programs in their colleges. HELLO TEXAS SCHOOLS. Take a memo...</p>

<p>anyway...please send vibes to me today. I need them worse than daughter, I think.</p>

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<p>Sounds like we are all in the same boat, which programs are you comparing?</p>

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<p>snapdragonfly - First of all, sending lots and lots of positive thoughts your way! This is such a difficult process all the way around. </p>

<p>Only your D can really decide in the end what is the best fit for her. If there is only one option in the end in terms of acceptances, then she has to decide it that program really works for her or if she wants to look at doing something different - taking a gap year, getting more training, going through the process again. Maybe attending one of those Texas publics in their non-audition theatre program. If there is more than one acceptance option, which it sounds like there is, then you have to work together to figure out what the options are from a financial standpoint. If that leads you to a program you can’t afford, you can revisit the take a gap year option but this time with an eye towards your D working and saving money with you putting aside whatever you had planned to pay this year to go towards the cost when she does start. Most schools will let you defer your acceptance for a year but you should double check to make sure they will defer the artistic acceptance as well.</p>

<p>Our D took out the $5,500 student loan and we are paying the rest of her tuition, room and board. She has an on campus job which she uses to cover her other expenses. And she worked all last summer to save up so she would have a “nest egg” to fall back on. Right now it is hard to get in many hours because of her rehearsal and performance schedule. But she understood the trade offs going in based on what we would be paying. She could have gone to a school where we would have paid almost nothing out of pocket due to the scholarships she was awarded. She would have a lot more fun money right now for sure. But that wasn’t the best fit for her and we were willing to make her first choice school work. All I can say is thank goodness for the 3 payment plan each semester LOL!</p>

<p>It sounds like you don’t have all the financial info from this other school yet. So I will be keeping my fingers crossed that some excellent news comes your way! Hang in there. At least this part of the process will be over soon.</p>

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<p>snapdragonfly, you are facing one of my greatest fears . . . my kiddo getting into a program with not enough scholarship money being offered. </p>

<p>(This is just my experience with loans, but . . . ) Regarding taking a lot of money out in loans: Don’t do it. From personal experience with loans, they will be a burden for your D. I am a teacher, HAD to take loans, and the accrued interest due to financial hardship means my payments are painful. (Did I say I was a teacher?!) We all know that MT actors make a pittance - probably less than teachers, unless your name ends with Foster or O’Hara or Chenoweth. I’m sure it’s tempting, but think of her future and the burden of temporary unemployment and accrual of interest.</p>

<p>Just my 2 cents.</p>

<p>Sending you our best wishes and positive thoughts.</p>

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<p>Hi SDF- That was also one of our biggest fears! We are on the west coast and there are few programs here. Even the public schools are not cheap and with the condition of California public schools, it was not a pretty picture. We were fortunate enough to get significant help at one of her top choices, but we made it clear from the start that we would not do loans either. We have 4 children, and if we took out loans for each, they would all end up having to support us in our old age. I think you are really smart to approach the whole thing the way you have. I think you would be doing her a disservice only if you had saddled her with a lot of loans! It sounds like you let her know what your limitations were upfront. I think it was smart to apply to a few schools that were above your financial reach in the hopes of a scholarship of some sort, because you never know until you try. In addition, if she does get an offer with some money, don’t be afraid to ask for more- a lot of schools will throw some more money out there just for the asking. I am crossing my fingers for her. It sounds like she has a lot of talent- I know she will end up somewhere where she will flourish! Good luck to both of you!</p>

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<p>If you didn’t get the amount of financial aid for your freshman year – chances are, there are scholarships you can apply for and other grants the schools gives to just returning students. So you may have to almost pay full tuition now and get a summer job, but ask about the possibility of being awarded something more next year. These schools want to keep their high retention rate.</p>

<p>But you should know, being an actor with loans is pretty difficult. I personally think it is insane for these colleges to charge upwards of $50,000 for a degree that is based on uncertainty. Actors don’t have stable income, so to take on loans is very risky. As a result of taking on big loans, she might not even get time to audition or train when she moves to NY because she will need a full time desk job. Auditions in NY happen from 10am to 1pm and from 2pm to 6pm near Times Sq. Plus the time it takes on the subway (which is usually late). So any job in the day will be impossible if she wants to audition. Also, classes take place in the evening, most happen from 6-10 - and as a professional, you must always be taking classes and meeting casting directors and agents – so that time frame is no good either :/. Sorry I went off on that tangent – but it is something to consider. A full time summer job would be ideal so she doesn’t have to get a job when she first moves to NY. It creates much less stress.</p>

<p>Obviously it is her choice. But she has options - it is not like if you don’t go to a BFA and pay a exorbitant amount of money on a school, you won’t make it. People make their own destiny and she can create opportunities for herself at a state school if she chooses. It is all about how bad you want it and how hard you are willing to train to get it. Perhaps she should consider one of the schools with a very strong dance program and take her voice lessons on the side. </p>

<p>Thats my million cents. :P</p>

<p>I wish you and your daughter the best of luck. I’m sending good vibes!</p>

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<p>Thanks MTKidd! That was a very useful post and tangent!</p>

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<p>see, MTKidd, that is EXACTLY my point: but when I discuss that we are kind of thanks but no thanks about the loans with people in the financial aid office, their reaction is:</p>

<p>a) everyone gets loans. <em>shrug</em> You special or sumthin?
b) well maybe if actors don’t make enough money to pay a loan she ought to major in something else.</p>

<p>Which makes me want to say, Yeah, that’s a GREAT idea, take a big fat loan to pay off a degree in something you HATE to do…where do we sign up??? <em>rolleyes</em> because if she wanted to do anything else, she’d be doing it. And I think she’d be better off just showing up on Broadway as she is now than having to pay off a loan, because no matter how great that education would make her audition, it doesn’t really matter if she never actually GETS to audition, does it???</p>

<p>What is upsetting me though is that from what I can tell, the private school seems to really be a better education. I mean maybe the other one has these features too but I cannot get that from either the website or the discussions with people in the department, and the audition was a private one so there weren’t kids hanging around to tell us everything, like there were at this one.</p>

<p>I don’t really want to name the two schools here but I’ll pm anyone who’s interested. They are both BA programs but in schools that don’t have BFA programs so there’s no “BA’s are for the teachers” stigma and also they are more performance based and intensive BA programs than most. But even more so at the private school which I will call T. What I love most about T is they are all about the toolbox approach, including masks, and have a great study abroad. The public school which I will call C, does utilize more than just one method but they don’t use the word “toolbox” and they don’t mention by name all the ones that they rattled off at T. Maybe that just means they aren’t as good as explaining it but…</p>

<p>that is one of the things I liked about T was that the kids just seemed unusually happy, smart, well spoken, and everything I want my kid to be after an education. The school itself is listed in the top of “schools with happiest students.” It’s just -really nice. The kids have obviously benefited from a well rounded liberal arts education as well as a very intensive and successful performing arts program. Also they do have good connections with people in New York and working alumni and all that really crucial stuff. Which, state school doesn’t seem to have, according to their alumni success page, anybody doing anything much more than either teaching or very regional or local stuff. Maybe that means people who want to go to Broadway just aren’t picking that school; maybe someone who wanted to go try for the big time could get all the training they need there, but none of the graduates have tried to do that in recent years. It IS a small capped program which is good, it’s not like certain big flagship schools where she’d be in there with 300 other BAs.</p>

<p>My thought is to get her into honors college at the state school and to use the money we have left (we have almost enough between their offer and our savings to only have to find a few thousand a year if my calculations are right) to perhaps be able to let her do really good programs in the summer to make up for maybe whatever it is missing? I don’t know. </p>

<p>I’m still hoping maybe the package will add up to enough that we can make up the difference…I hate waiting…there is no doubt it will be a big big stretch and I wish I could tell if it’s REALLY that much better of a school or just better at presenting itself. The kids were great but I wish D had had a chance to get to meet the kids at school C - maybe they are just as great? It’s definitely not as selective academically that’s for sure - I mean it can’t be, it’s a mid level state school compared to a VERY academically selective private liberal arts college/university. And I DO think that makes a difference. But it might be a difference that we, as a middle class family with a non Merit scholar kid, have to accept. Which kind of breaks my heart for not only her but the hundreds of thousands of kids just like her in the same boat…I guess it’s a cruel world out there but it still just really smarts when you see first hand what it is your kid won’t be getting. I am being very pessimistic, I guess. She can already dance quite well, the state school has a great dance program in fact, and good voice lessons can be had any place where good voice teachers live which I have found is most places. But it’s the acting I’m most concerned about, as that’s what she’s had the least of, which is typical of most high school kids. I mean I don’t KNOW that state school isn’t as good. Maybe it is. And I can’t figure out quite how to ask that, or how daughter should ask that, and anyway, if she has to go there what difference would it make anyway?</p>

<p>Oh and guess what…she got sick AGAIN today and we took her to the doctor and found out she has mono…I think she’s had it for a couple weeks and she’s just been soldering on so stoic and brave. That is probably why she feels like she’s so tired she needs a gap year, ya think?</p>

<p>Thanks for the support though, it actually does help so much that at least there are other people who understand.</p>

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<p>Mono oh no! I am so sorry. What a trouper she was to hang in there when her exhaustion was so very real.</p>

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<p>…and that theater teacher - wanted her to come to a UIL clinic (a kind of rehearsal but with judges and guest schools and a big deal in the UIL preparations) tonight even though she was sick, because if she wasn’t there “they” would force her to cut her from it; she promised she’d only need to be there on the stage 45 minutes and then she could go home. I had texted her she had tonsillitis and dr’s orders to stay home. Well, so that her team mates would not be penalized she went but on the way there we got the call from the dr that the mono test came back positive. So we walked in and I said “she’s got mono” and the woman looked at me like I said “she had a muffin for breakfast” and I said, “she’s contagious” and she said “the other kids are fine with it” and I said “that’s before they knew it was mono.” Theater teacher just shrugged and said “I don’t know much about mono” then looked at my daughter and said (in front of everyone) “who you been sucking face with?” (uhm, NOBODY, because she’s been too busy to date for the past entire year? literally? and you don’t have to kiss to get it? HELLO???)</p>

<p>So…daughter went in there, did her part - oh and it’s a certain Greek play and her part involves rolling around on the floor, yeah, great for that spleen - and I took her home and she said that when the other kids found out it was mono they did in fact change their tune…they don’t want to be exposed. I’m calling this one and taking her out. I’m afraid she’ll get really, really sick and never quite get her health back because it sure can happen and this woman clearly doesn’t respect boundaries or understand this illness. Doctor is totally writing out a medical excuse and supporting us on this…I am afraid teacher will be furious with her (I know, I know) and be mean to her because it’s happened before. But I’m drawing the line. It’s mono and that UIL is not a priority: it won’t help her NOW no matter what happens and she just has a part in the chorus so nobody will miss her all that much, it’s not like she has a lead. If she gives the lead roles mono then the teacher might wish she’d taken it a bit more seriously and it would almost be worth it to see that happen (MUhaha) but I wouldn’t do that to someone else’s kid!</p>

<p>Let me tell you, if four years of this hasn’t soured her on theater, nothing will.</p>

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<p>Your poor daughter- I would be in there talking to that teacher in private and if that doesn’t change things, then talking to the administration. I can’t believe she would want to expose other kids to mono! And talk about inappropriate comments! Your daughter’s health is the most important thing. I don’t know what UIL is - but it won’t do any good if your daughter is sick for months. At least college auditions are mostly over so maybe she can get some rest now. Mono is making the rounds at our high school now and some of these kids have been really sick. I had mono as an adult (Dr. thought I picked it up from my toddlers thru day care, where apparently it is very prevalent). I have never been so sick in my life so I can’t imagine trying to do auditions on top of everything else. Poor thing- give her our best for a quick recovery!!!</p>

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<p>By the way, your posts are the best ever (Muhaha) -lol- you are so funny!</p>

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<p>Thanks for all that, especially the healing vibes.</p>

<p>UIL is the third rail of Texas public schools - University Interscholastic League - it governs all the academic, athletic, and artistic competitions, from band to football to math to drama. Actually the UIL One Act competition is the largest in the country(numbers wise anyway, this IS Texas) and maybe the world if I remember right. Schools have a lot of pressure to win at UIL and teachers have a lot of pressure to win from the schools and kids get a lot of pressure to throw everything under the bus for UIL. Only there is one kid who isn’t going to be taking one for the team this time. She has done it for 4 years, but we’re not risking her last semester of high school and possibly summer and first year of college to frail health and recurrent throat infections. Yeah…no.</p>

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<p>I think you should take the prospect of earnings from future employment totally out of the thinking right now and determine which school to go to based on which environment offers the best opportunity for learning – of all kinds, academic, artistic and social – and personal growth. Yes, your daughter might struggle financially for years (with or without the burden of loans) if she chooses a professional career as an actress; but she might also decide to pursue a different path eventually (or even right after college) and a good education will prepare her to adjust accordingly; or she might choose to combine an acting career alongside another career path.</p>

<p>In today’s world, there are no guarantees of how lucrative or safe ANY profession can be. Would you be willing to take on the loans for the private school if your daughter were not pursuing acting?</p>

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<p>You are doing the right thing by pulling her from the performance. IMO you should contact the administration about her and provide the emails, texts etc… to back up your story. This person should not be in that kind of position of power over these kids. It is the same as a coach playing an injured player which could adversly effect the player.</p>

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<p>SDonCC…I will consider that side of it too…thank you. I still think no matter WHAT the career path, that anything over just the Stafford loan amount is a mistake, but if there is just overwhelming weight on the side of T school and the one and only thing blocking it is just the Stafford we might ponder that side of it. My brother thinks a minimum of loans, while not great, isn’t a disaster, but he agrees that these huge loans some kids end up with is insanity. She won’t be signing up for 30, 40, 50 thousand, I don’t care what she goes into, but the Stafford is less than that.</p>

<p>~Admin is definitely going to know about this. For a start I called the school nurse today and suggested maybe there could be a PSI about mono to the teachers as apparently some of them are unclear as to the causes and severity of mono, and she agreed that was a very good idea and is going to be doing that. There has been some mono…she said you can have it for weeks before you really feel bad, which means, I predict there’s going to be a full blown episode of a lot of sick kids at her high school this spring.</p>

<p>I think I’m going to talk to the principal who is over all of this (he knows D quite well) and tell him so that he’ll understand she’s not just quitting out of senioritis or something and that we considered very carefully all the risks vs benefits for not only her but the rest of the school and her dad, her doctor and I all agree everyone is best with her quitting…but that even if it weren’t also in the schools best interest I would still have to do this as I can’t be putting her health at risk. You know they can burst a spleen and UIL can be physically rough, they have to put up these big block thingies for their scenery and it’s timed and even if she’s excused from that part of it, someone could still bump into her and just, no, for so many reasons. He’ll probably immediately say “oh hell no we don’t want her to do this” and then teacher won’t be able to argue about it and say like she ALWAYS does, “I understand all that but…” </p>

<p>I’m going to totally start out all my responses to her silly arguments with that line myself, I think, from now on. MUHAHA indeed. “I understand all that but her health comes before any other consideration.”</p>

<p>I think D is relieved actually to know there is a real reason behind her recent malaise. Poor baby.</p>

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<p>So sorry to hear about the mono - your poor D!! Hope she is better soon!</p>

<p>Just wondering what your D thinks about school “C”? Has she done an overnight visit or had a chance to sit in on some of the acting/voice/dance classes to get to the see the faculty in action and interact with the students? That was really what tipped the scales in favor of the school my D chose. Once she spent a day with the students and faculty she could see herself at that school - taking those classes, working with that faculty and being one of those students. My D did indeed select a school that was much less academically challenging than the other school that was on her final 2 list. But she has been plenty challenged in her major and has been given so many opportunities to grow as a person and a performer. Best of luck to you and your D!</p>

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<p>snapdragonfly - tried to send you a PM but your box is full. :0)</p>

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<p>Fixed it - retry! thanks! :-)</p>

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<p>snapdragonfly - my D is a freshman this year in an auditioned BA MT program. When it came time to make her final choice last year she also chose a school that was not as academically challenging (like austinmtmom’s D) as the the other school she was considering. D loves her school and is learning so much in all of her MT classes and feels very challenged. She was lucky enough to get AP and college credit so that as a second semester freshman she has junior standing. This means that D is able to add extra classes she is interested in like piano and art history.</p>

<p>As far as loans go, D took the $5K stafford loan this year and will take a small loan for next year also. We felt that having a small amount of loans would be ok for D upon graduation.</p>

<p>Good luck to your D in making her final decision. I really believe that in the end the kids end up where they are suppose to be. I know that this has been true for my D.</p>