The "Sob Story" as a ticket into college.

Applying to College
1

So, I know I sound sort of cynical in my title. But I want to be forward, I think a big part of my application was the diversity I offered with my health history. And I’ll be honest-even though I didn’t really want to use my health history as a possible advantage, I did. My mom coerced me into it, as did my GC. And although a part of me feels like I might have not gotten in to my colleges (7/7) without the health issues, I’m going to recommend that you DO exploit the hard times you’ve had.

When I was born, I was full term, irregardless, I was in the NICU for a few weeks (heart problems), I had acid reflex, which later turned into cyclic vomiting syndrome (somewhat self explanatory), I didn’t walk till I was about 22 months old, and was deficient in growth hormone (which left me venerable to arthritis and the like), I had (and still have) severe food allergies that were discovered on accident (as in, I ate them and went into anaphylaxis), I had exterior hydrocephalus (and was bullied because of the way it made me look, severe eczema, and really bad ear problems, as well as eyelashes that grew in which required plastic surgery to fix, and teeth that-still to this day-erupt without enamel. And have had several bouts of body dysmorphia on and off through my teenage years. And my parents divorced when I was in eighth grade.

This December (my senior year, at eighteen), I was diagnosed with severe ADHD and Trichotillomania (plucking of eyelashes/eyebrows, which is tied to ADHD and often triggered by traumatic life events-most likely stemmed from bullying and health craze for me).

So what I’m saying is, despite how it feels, it’s okay to use a backstory for college. I struggled with it, but after the stuff I went through, I realized I deserved to talk about it and use it to my advantage, especially since the GH defficency prohibited my Tae Kwon Do career from going to a normal pace (I’m testing for black in the spring, it took me really long to get here and I stuck it out). And you do too. Life can suck, and I’ll admit it, my life sucked A LOT less than a good proportion of people, but it was worse than a good proportion of people as well.

In short, use your history and life to your advantage-if you can-it’s worth it.

2

Did you also have the stats for the colleges you were admitted to? I am going to be honest, it sounds like most of your health problems occurred before your high school years (but maybe I am misreading that). And tons of students have divorced parents. I actually would NOT recommend that most students make a big deal of health history problems, although sticking out to black belt in spite of health challenges certainly might be the basis for a good essay, and a brief mention by your GC of health issues is okay. But I don’t think colleges really want a litany of your life’s health issues. I would not generally count on the “woe is me” approach to college applications. You may have gotten accepted in spite of your challenges, not because of them.

3

I agree. The most selective colleges will take extreme hardship into account when the student excelled despite them, but they do not tend to give exception for the trials and tribs. Brooke Ellison was admitted to Harvard, yes, and that she was a quadraplegic was something that the school was aware of, but that she had the fantastic grades and test scores, high academic accomplishments even with her physical condition was what got her accepted.

4

I agree with both posts above. I was kind of looking for the “Oh this has been horrible, but it prompted me to form this club”… Doesn’t look like that happened? Do you travel and speak on your issues, do anything about it with kids that have similar problems? Etc…

5

Congratulations on your acceptances and on overcoming so much adversity. Your parents, I hope, are justifiably very proud of you!

A good writer can turn a story of overcoming adversity into a very compelling essay. But for many students, it can be a very difficult task. One admissions rep at a very highly rated LAC recommended that students avoid the three D’s in their essays: death, depression and drugs. I think this is because these topics can be very challenging to write about in an effective manner. So, by all means, writing about adversity can yield outstanding results (when combined with excellent grades & scores, etc.). But it might not necessarily be the best strategy for every student.

6

I have no problem with students overcoming adversity and sharing their story in their college essay. I have a problem with students who are seemingly happy that they have gone through adversity because they think it gives them an edge in college admissions.

7

@CaliCash‌ why shouldn’t they be happy they might have an edge? Might as well be some good come out of it…

8

I’m curious, what colleges did you get accepted to and was it just because of your essay, or did you have the stats needed to get in?

9

Gosh. As the mom of a kid who was born with a birth defect and required many invasive/corrective surgeries (ongoing) I feel for you but I’m giving my son the opposite advice. He doesn’t really want anyone to know about his past or ongoing problems and he doesn’t want to be defined by them. He isn’t a top student, partly due to the cards he was dealt, but mostly due to he just wasn’t interested enough in becoming a top student to actually be one. My advice for ANYONE with issues is to pick a school that is a match and will not be too much of a struggle, because other parts of your life are struggle enough. Set yourself up for success. I wish you all the best. And if you have your health, you have more than a lot of people.

10

Life – and continual successes in life – is not about the hand one is dealt; rather, it is about how that hand is played. I’d be ashamed to employ a “sob story” of this sort and I hope admissions officers/committees see through such pandering and reject the applicants that indulge in it.

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@CaliCash "I have no problem with students overcoming adversity and sharing their story in their college essay. I have a problem with students who are seemingly happy that they have gone through adversity because they think it gives them an edge in college admissions. "

I’m surprised you feel that way and really don’t believe it’s actually happening in the way you’re describing. If we’re talking about actual adversity, the person is fully aware they’ve had to deal with a lot of tough, horrible things. Why shouldn’t they enjoy the fact that for once, something good is coming out of it? I guarantee you if it was actual adversity, nobody is going to say they’d rather have cancer and a boost in admissions than be healthy and on an even playing field in admissions.

Ex. My brother is type 1 diabetic. When my family went to Disney World over break, he was able to get a pass that let him jump to the front of lines because his endocrinologist sent a letter. He didn’t say “YAY, now I see that diabetes is actually awesome despite the life-threatening, horrible aspects of it,” more like, “now this I can enjoy!”

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My guess is @CaliCash‌ probably hasn’t met kids with disabilities/diseases who are happy for the boost but probably students without disabilities/diseases expressing how they wish they had them for the boost. For example a kid at disney seeing your brother get his fast pass and thinking “I wish I had diabetes so I could get free stuff like that kid,” because they don’t appreciate the life-threatening, horrible aspects of it.

13

@CaliCash I wish I didn’t have health problems, but caving into parental pressure like OP did, I’m going to send updates to the colleges I applied to explaining my situation and what I’ve done despite painful surgeries that have caused me to miss finals before. If that gives me a “boost” over an able-bodied kid, so be it.

Also, the kind of physical problems OP and I have almost inevitably lead to bullying, which is a whole other can of worms and usually leaves people with mental health issues, which I’m not going to mention in great depth either here or for college.

Thank you, @MaddyDUMW, for this post.

14

I think holistic college admissions committees are very much interested in context, so how you did despite problems beyond your control is certainly relevant. I refrain from calling them sob stories and prefer to think context. I also think it is better to quickly move to a ‘but what have you done lately’ approach when including that information. But how that condition affected you and shaped you is certainly relevant and appropriate. I disagree that such things are a ‘ticket’ or an ‘advantage’. It simply adds an explanation and perspective to your situation and accomplishments.

15

You really should ask your GC to communicate this information if possible instead of sending it yourself. It carries more weight if your GC does it (it is a fine line to not sound like you are making excuses when you do it).

16

@intparent My GC has 450+ kids to deal with and really doesn’t have time for me, plus she’s incompetent…she barely got my SCEA stuff in on time even though I bugged her every day for two weeks (I’m one of 3 co-vals and she does her job the quickest for the top 10…) and royally screwed up my schedule for this sem

17

If you are co-val, then I would not send the emails… I can’t see how it improves your application, and it could easily come off badly.

18

For some people, the back story is very important, and for others it is a non issue. My daughter was a micro preemie, and it really has never been an issue for her. When she was young she had health problems and received a lot of therapy, but it has never been brought up by her. For example, she didn’t write or draw until she was well into Kindergarten (and I mean didn’t hold a pencil). Had no interest in drawing, cutting, doing crafts. Her handwriting was awful. Then her second grade teacher said it was unacceptable and she had to work on it, so she did. She now has beautiful handwriting and is a very good artist. Never would she make this the subject of an essay. She just doesn’t care that she once couldn’t do something and now can, no matter how much work it took to get to where she is.

Her buddy, also a preemie, writes every essay, does every project about being a preemie, about the struggles, about her special needs. She had horrible handwriting and still does because it is in her IEP that she doesn’t have to work on it. She can draw, but cannot write (has used a keyboard since 2nd grade). That would be the subject of her essay, why she doesn’t do something and the many reasons, and why it is okay that she’ll never learn those skills. There are plenty of things my daughter can’t do well because of her special needs, but she’d never write about them; her essay “Math is a Four Letter Word; The Story of Why I Can’t Add” would not have impressed the admissions committee.

Each would write the essays on what is important to her. The ‘sob story’, as the OP termed it, has no importance to my daughter at all but is all-important to her friend. The essay is supposed to be about the writer, so in one case it is the right topic and in the other the wrong topic.

19

@twoinanddone If your daughter’s friend had any sense she wouldn’t write her essays on the accommodations her disability has gotten her because, like how your daughter isn’t writing The Story of Why I Can’t Add essay, it would not impress adcoms. Nor would she need to explain because colleges wouldn’t know that she had had accommodations as high schools are’t allowed to disclose w/o the kids permission.

On a broader note:
Adversity, as the name suggests, comes with disadvantages that can and do lead to weaker stats going into the admissions process. One can’t simply add an adversity label to oneself for college admissions, after having the privileges of a mellow life. Taking context into account is meant to level the playing field, not give an unfair advantage to those who’ve faced ‘adversity’. After going through poverty, the death of parents, rape, cancer, etc giving applicants who’ve faced adversity extra consideration (that is if they even do) IS just leveling the playing field.

So, as I said before, why shouldn’t people who’ve faced adversity get something good out of it?

That said, @hopefulperson if you do decide that it’s necessary for colleges to know what you’ve gone through, it really ought to be your GC writing about it at this point. Maybe instead of a random email to all your schools you could ask her to put it in your mid-year report?

20

I would not reach back as far as babyhood illness or problems, but rather to talk about more recent issues. Sure you can mention the origin of health issues, but to detail babyhood developments like when you walked and detailed illnesses like in the OP post here is just too much.

My own nephew was a preemie and operated on the day he was born and has had to be hospitalized several times a year his entire life which has been disruptive to schoolwork. In addition there have been endless treatments, tests and examinations, home treatments that take hours a day so schoolwork has not been as good as it should. He prefered to go to school and make friends rather than do ‘home hospital’ schooling. I don’t know what will be in store for college. Obviously he will not make an essay detailing his every physical problem, but it really can’t be avoided mention as it is something he has had to deal with and in early HS is still not resolved as much as was hoped.