<p>Neither. Cornell. here are the facts:
- Cornell is the Big Red. That’s a type of cinnamon gum I personally find enjoyable. Crimson Tide? Isn’t that like “Aunt Flow”? Another euphemism for “that time of the month”? That I do not enjoy. Neither do I enjoy bulldogs. I got attacked by one once. And it hurt. </p>
<li><p>Cornell has so many more fun play-on-words that you can do. Cornhell. Well, thats about it, but what can you do about Yale? It’s only one syllable! Harvard… other than that whole Bostonian spelling “Hahvahd” thing, there’s really nothing. And let’s be honest, is the Hahvahd thing even really that funny? It’s been done.</p></li>
<li><p>Cambridge or New Haven? Ithaca. There are gorges. Ithaca is gorges. See? Another fun pun. How punny. You know what places aren’t punny? Cambridge and New Haven. Not punny at all.</p></li>
<li><p>Okay, the suicide thing. Gorges are slippery. So are the bridges above gorges. So are the roofs of buildings. It can’t be helped. It snows a lot.</p></li>
<li><p>Speaking of snow, umm white christmas? No. Talk about a white EVERYDAY. That’s right. And guess who will be more likely to survive if, perchance, a “Day After Tomorrow” type series of events were to occur, leading up to a second ice age… that’s right. None of you Yalies or Harvies with your smarts, but rather me, the Cornellian, with my high tolerance for low temperatures. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m willing to trudge through four feet of snow everyday if it’s going to prepare me for the apocalypse. Which it will.</p></li>
<li><p>Last of all, so what if no one knows Cornell is Ivy League. We like it like that. And so what if both Yale and Harvard are mentioned in movies constantly, and always on top of U.S. News and World Report rankings. It won’t matter when you’re all frozen and we’ve all built snow houses, which we will refer to as “Cornshell-ters”. Our day will come. And when it does, it will be glorious.
<unjustine3</p></li>
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<p>PS-[Okay, this isn’t really serious. I’m just a citizen from the Cornell part of town who has some friends on this board and saw some angry words being exchanged. All you need is love, guys. Mix, you prestigious schools you, and make a nice purpley plum color. A color which will be appreciated far more than every vituperative argument and hateful messageboard post combined. Or at least until the end of this season, cause berry colors are in right now.]
PPS-[I really hope this post doesn’t end up biting me in the ass.]</p>