I am wondering if any of you might have insights to share that will help with final selection for our son.
In hindsight, he applied (and was accepted) to far too many schools. They range from Duke, Vanderbilt and Notre Dame to SMU and our state flagship CU-Boulder. At this point, the COAs are from full pay of $65K/year to around $20K for CU. He plans to pursue a MBA or MS later.
We are one of those families that FAFSA considers too wealthy for aid (and I suspect so does CSS) but we are far from rich. Years ago, we started a 539 college fund that is worth about $80K today. I have places to draw whatever additional nut I need to meet, without tapping 401K money, but it would still sting. A lot. We COULD do it without burdening him or us with debt. And I don’t want to make this purely about finances.
At the “lesser” schools, he would be at the top of his class, in honors programs, with special access to instructors, etc. At the full pay “famous” schools, he would be one of many exceptionally bright kids. What is the value of a college “really wanting him” versus one that merely accepted him?
Beyond “fit” and campus visits, how do I help him find his place?
I should clarify, he has not been accepted yet to Vandy or Duke (he applied RD) but I am trying to get ahead of that decision should he be accepted. I suspect he may.
What does your son ultimately want to do? Are all these schools equally strong in his desired major? Would he have better “local” alumni connections going to CU-Boulder? Does he want to stay in the Boulder area? Sorry – no answers – just lots of questions
His current area of interest is business and data analytics. All schools have good programs in that area. I think he is intrigued with exploring beyond Colorado.
Stretch academically or financially? Academically, I don’t think so. He is a smart kid, 35 ACT composite and 4.6 GPA. I’m confident he will handle whatever he signs up for. Only child, so I can easily rationalize cost by only doing this once.
Financially, as I said, we can write the check. But $100K extra is a lot of money for most anyone; I just wonder how many people pay the delta for egotistical reasons when the child may have an equal academic experience, or even better, elsewhere.
Said another way, if money were removed from the equation, might he thrive as a bigger fish in a smaller pond? How many schools are REALLY worth paying full boat? OK, enough with the water metaphors now.
That’s always the question - big fish in the small pond or vice versa. Some students really like smaller schools for the more individual attention while others like to be a little more ignored amid the masses. Our choice came down to selecting a school within the budget.
Sorry I missed that. Here’s my two cents: I told DD I would pay for the best school she got into (believe me, now I would have redefined the word “best” but she was my first kid going to college). Her results were stark and the “best” school she got into was Emory. I am very disappointed in the school, but she didn’t get into anything cheaper that she wanted to go to. What’s a mid-priced option (vs. $20k or $65k) that he likes?
The “mid” school, I’d say is probably SMU – respected business program, scholarships that subsidize $35K of the $65K COA. Plus he would enter with 30+ AP/IB credits and could feasibly graduate in 3 years, then immediately enter MS in business analytics and finish with a master’s.
For additional context, he was also accepted to U-Mich, Virginia and Georgia Tech, but received none of the limited merit scholarships they have. I have a tough time on principle paying the full OOS freight for a state school that academically lesser resident students attend for a fraction of the cost.
First, a big congrats to your son. This is a much better problem to have than not being able to attend any good school offering a program he wants, because of cost.
I think a lot depends on how your child learns - while he must have been at the top of his class in HS, he may have some idea as to whether he likes being the smartest kid in the room, or if he has done well learning in groups with others also at his level.
For many of us, finance is a much bigger part of the equation, and if you are factoring everything in to the Cost of Attendence (not just tuition, but also travel, R&B, fees, books, etc). You are struggling with this problem at a difference of $100K - but most of us would say this is really a question about $180K - the difference before the 529 plan over 4 years. Especially if you think of the difference being available to fund post-undergraduate school. For many, even a $20,000 difference is enough to make someone think twice.
As long as you are willing and able to pay, it comes down to how your son values the esoteric differences in fit. Where are graduates moving on to - what jobs are they getting, or what grad schools are they getting accepted at. Down the road, think about which school has the better alumni network? At the present, which school had the cuter tour guides?
There are many parents of kids at “famous” schools who choose to pay the money, and yes, many of these do “feel it” although several don’t blink. Just the same, there are lots of kids at “lesser” schools getting pretty close to the same UG education who have decided it was not worth the difference chasing prestige.
No answer is perfect, except whatever your son chooses for his own situation.
Has your son visited any of these schools? How does he feel about them? Did you put any constraints on what you would pay prior to his submission of apps?
These are three outstanding state universities. It might make sense to think of them as better than your home state school but cheaper than private schools.
Since they’re all wonderful schools an you COULD do all of them if you wanted to, the best thing is a pro con list when you have all the options in front of you. We did it with our son and something became clear pretty quickly. There are any number of reasons why among great options any one could be knocked of the list. For example, we learned when receiving acceptances for graduate school, that while she applied to excellent schools, during her college internships she learned that absolutely loathes hot, humid weather, which left some schools as less desirable because she would be physically uncomfortable. Now, if that school had been the only good option, she would have sucked it up, but your son may have some physical, geographic or logistical preferences when choosing among excellent options.
Has visited only the TX schools, but will visit all under real consideration before any decision is made. He’s the kind of kid that doesn’t want to show his cards until he has all the data in – in this case, that includes acceptances and financial offers. We did not constrain his choices, though we did discuss that simply getting accepted – without a merit scholarship – was no guarantee that he could attend that school. Conversely, it was not eliminated on that basis either.
The wild card I have not mentioned (his chances are so slim as a normal, white, middle class, unhooked kid that I hardly think it bears on the discussion.) If miracles of miracles were to happen, there is one check I think I’d be happy to write. To Stanford.
BTW, 3puppies, I am by no means trying to say that any bigger check would not be painful. Precisely why I am struggling to ascertain why elite schools can command such numbers.
Is there a way to visit these or at least Notre Dame, since he’s in there? It might be easier to make that decision fully informed.
If you can’t visit, is there some online forums they offer to give you an idea?
I have several times thought of PM’ing you, since our kids have applied to and accepted to a number of the same schools. I keep seeing you around. I’m not allowed (on pain of receiving withering looks) to post my D2’s acceptances.
Re the out of state publics – there are probably going to be “academically lesser” (that phrase makes me cringe, but I do understand you mean kids w/out stats as high as your kid) students who are attending for less money at all of those schools. Chances are there are kids who are getting need-based aid, or who are hooked in some way, who aren’t as high stats and are getting a lot of funding.
LionsMum, probably an inelegant way for me to say exactly what you said better. Not intended as a knock on those very bright students. My point is the same reason I’m ambivalent about his attending my alma mater; he’s much smarter than I was. To paraphrase Groucho Marx, I don’t want him to join a club that would take me as a member.
Our family approach has been “follow the money”. It has worked very well for my D. in 2 cases: private HS and in-state public college. Our logic was that if they offered great Merit scholarship, then they know that the kid fit into their environment and will be successful there. The rest is up to a kid!That is exactly how it worked out for our D. with the results at both places that far exceeded our initial expectations, I mean they were much better than we dared to predict.
3Puppies raised a good point for consideration. While our son attends a large public school of about 3,000, he has always been surrounded by a smaller, more intimate academic group within the IB curriculum. Have others of you had a child in IB who can shed light on how that experience translated to their college choice?
