The Wait...

Athletic Recruits
1

<p>Somebody once told me that in Ivy athletics, the Team has to love you, you have to love the Team, but only admissions can bless the marriage. After submitting all transcripts and tests and taking an official visit D decided Ivy1 is the place for her. Coach was excited and said he will back her through admissions. He also said her AI is top tier and shouldn't be an issue with admissions.</p>

<p>Still, the likely letter meeting with admissions doesn't take place for another week or two, I'm optimistic, but the suspense is killing me.</p>

<p>On a side note, when friends ask, 'so has she decided where she's going to school yet?" I tell them, with the caution that nothing is sure until admissions approves. For some reason, the caution seems to get left out when the news is repeated to the next person, so at the grocery I hear, "I hear she's going to _______! How exciting!" Not yet, my friend, not yet.</p>

2

<p>varska, hang in there! The rumors two years ago for us were, “I heard she got a full ride to Ivy X!!!” Long explanation of how that’s not possible, we don’t know anything for sure yet, and so on. </p>

<p>Anxiety rises, and while you are proud and hopeful, there’s something so surreal about being recruited to an Ivy that it seems like tempting fate to mention it. We tried not to talk about it at home or with friends until the acceptance letter came. Even the likely letter seemed like a fortune cookie prophesy, rather than an invitation…</p>

<p>You’re right to come here to talk. The neighbors aren’t going to be very helpful on this one.</p>

3

<p>Haha…it’s nice to hear from someone who can relate. I really don’t like to bring it up with friends and family either, even though it’s on my mind 80% of the time. The other conversation that always seems to come up is - “so she’s getting a scholarship at ____?” </p>

<p>Me: “Not exactly, Ivy’s can’t give athletic scholarships, but they’re very generous with need-based aid” Then you get the look that seems to say, 'hmm, I didn’t know they were poor."</p>

4

<p>I never know when someone tells me, “I heard so-and-so is getting a full athletic scholarship at X (Ivy League school).” Usually I just smile and nod, unless I know the person very well!</p>

5

<p>varska, welcome to the club!</p>

<p>I said, “she’s committed to X university” and then more seriously “but admissions has not admitted her yet and as we all know that’s a big deal at X university” And then the next day I’d hear congratulation, so and so told me your daughter got in!</p>

<p>the truth is that fully supported athletes (who have been pre-read by admissions) almost always get in, so it’s understandable why people assume your athlete is admitted.</p>

<p>The wait is brutal. I was a basket case going into the last few days (last week) when we were told we’d most likely hear. And for my d it was all or nothing deal, the back-ups were a big step down. So, you have the prize in front of you and you hear it’s all going to work out but until you get the confirmation you’re hangin’ there waiting. With thoughts of how will this effect my kid if it’s a no and everyone who didn’t really hear me say “she’s not in yet” will assume we over inflated our kids athletic and academic abilities.</p>

<p>it’s wild insn’t it!</p>

6

<p>We too are waiting on a likely letter from my son’s first choice school. Coach said to expect it in early Dec. A friend of his who committed the week before was told to look for a letter at the end of November so I guess there is pattern. My son is not worried at all, so there is no sense in my worrying. I know he could be happy at many different schools!</p>

<p>When people say “Congrats, I hear your son is going to X University”, I usually reply “If the coach and admissions agree. We’ll see”. Doesn’t help that son is wearing an X University hoodie and baseball cap half the time.</p>

<p>Good luck in your wait.</p>

7

<p>I’m definitely in the same situation and it’s extremely frustrating! Waiting is by far the worst part of the entire LL process.</p>

8

<p>I too remember all the assumptions being made about our S’s “full-ride” to the Ivy he attends. DH used to say that his sport sure is costing me a lot of money!</p>

<p>Interesting, not long ago I was talking to S and mentioned something about the stress of the college application process and he said, “Stress??? My experience wasn’t stressful.” Not sure we were going through the same thing at the same time - maybe some other teenage boy was living in my house??</p>

9

<p>Yes, varska, welcome to the club.</p>

<p>Yes, the wait for the LL is agonizing, and then there’s the wait for the actual acceptance. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself re-reading the LL for reassurance from time to time. Bear in mind that every school’s LL is different; Harvard’s reads much more like an actual acceptance than Princeton’s, for example, but both are completely reliable. And the wait will vary based on whether its an ED or RD application. Regardless of whether its an RD or ED school, treat the LL as an acceptance.</p>

<p>Yes, too, most laymen assume that all recruited athletes receive athletic scholarships and that all Ivy level students receive academic scholarships.</p>

<p>We had a bit of awkwardness with son’s LL. We/he told a few close friends/family that he received it and what it meant, including that it wasn’t an actual admission, and of course that nuance was omitted as word of his good news quickly spread. The actual acceptance April 1st was a bit anticlimatic, but that day rates among the happiest days of my life. I clearly remember my son opening the Princeton decision page, seeing his acceptance, and then turning to me and saying “we did it” while giving me an Obama-esque “terrorist fist-jab”. At that point, tears streaming down my face, I realized “the wait” was over.</p>

<p>Clarification: The “we did it” comment above was a reference to our ongoing joke. Yes, I had helped him through the process, but it was his UW 4.0, his 16 APs, his scores, his national ranking, his…how do I say this? his extraordinary accomplishments.</p>

<p>varska, I don’t understand your comment about thinking about this 80% of the time. When would you not think about it? And don’t worry, once the LL arrives it gets much easier, and that day will be here soon.</p>

<p>Keep us all posted. And don’t hesitate to ask more questions or reach out for support publicly or via PM.</p>

<p>You’re among friends here.</p>

10

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<p>This is too funny, because that’s what I’m doing here. Not a LL, but an ‘early approval’ letter from the admissions office (not an Ivy). It’s just seems a bit surreal.</p>

11

<p>Thanks Sherpa. You caught me - it’s on my mind more like 95-98% of the time, I just didn’t want to come across as too obsessed. </p>

<p>If and when the LL comes, is it safe to just answer questions with a “yep, she’s going to ____”, instead of adding all the caveats and cautions that are necessary now? God, I hope so.</p>

12

<p>LL’s from ivy’s are done deals. your athlete is in!
the only things that can pull a LL are 1) your kid commits a felony or 2) there’s a significant drop in grades.</p>

<p>i did see one discussion about serious injury and that is an interesting question.</p>

<p>furthermore if the coach said its coming AND admissions has pre approved your athlete then the LL will arrive. i’ve heard of some agressive parents who have pushed their athlete through the coaches door and the coach is using admission to let the parents know it may be a no as opposed to the coach proactively getting pre approval from admissions. so as long as the coach is pulling and you’re not pushing it’ll all be fine! </p>

<p>heres the process i’ve seen with a couple dozen athletes and all were admitted (in this order):</p>

<p>1) talks. unofficials maybe. pre-read grades/sat
2) official visit
3) commit and application sent in
4) LL arrives!!!
5) admitted! </p>

<p>and as one poster above said “it’s surreal” it’s november and your kid is IN and in to harvard or yale or princeton or stanford. or a similar top school that is incredibly hard to get into.</p>

13

<p>Surreal is the word for it all.</p>

<p>

Looking back, the well-meaning folks asking don’t care about about the details, they just want to hear the good news and share in the joy. I had a tendancy to speak with disclaimers, such as “he got a likely letter from _</em></strong>_____, which is basically an unofficial early acceptance”, followed by a trailing off mumbled “rest of the story”. Less than fully satisfying.</p>

<p>I prefer your answer.</p>

14

<p>I think you can and should interpret the likely letter as admission. What troubled me when we were going through this two years ago was the logical “what if” it’s not an admissions ticket. </p>

<p>If you think it’s not an admission and your school is RD, then you won’t have a solid acceptance/rejection decision until Marchish. Should your child then have submitted back-up applications to matches and safeties, just in case?</p>

<p>No, because, as the likely letter was explained by the coach, this is a done deal. To continue to apply to other schools and/or talk to other coaches flies in the face of the implied likely letter commitment. </p>

<p>At some point you have to trust the LL system, and not insist that your child continue to submit applications, and allow them to tell other coaches their plans.</p>

<p>One does wonder about the event of injury or other extenuating family circumstance that might cause the student to want to have a plan B. We didn’t really pursue this, but it seems like some families might consider putting a few more applications out there to cover the worst case, or if you just can’t bring yourself to trust the LL system fully. </p>

<p>Other circumstance examples: 1. immediately following 9/11, some of our friends wouldn’t allow their children to attend schools in the NY/DC area, and kept them in the west. 2. mom has a serious illness so D decided to stay in-state at least for the time being. </p>

<p>Not sure how other families have handled this. Conventional thinking would say not to simply send one application to an Ivy League school. No matches? No safeties? Who the heck gets away with that? Well, lots of our kids did/are, but it feels pretty weird.</p>

15

<p>varska, you’re not too obsessed. I only hear that criticism from parents who don’t spend much time with or for their kids. Your D is a recruited athlete to an Ivy League school, you can’t be too obsessed:) After all she’s your baby! And going off to college is truly the stuff of life!</p>

16

<p>D got the call from admissions today - she’s in and the LL is on it’s way!</p>

17

<p>Congratulations, varska, and varskadaughter! Can’t help but remember this day at our house and it brings a tear to my eye. Thanks for sharing!</p>

18

<p>Ditto what riverrunner said. Enjoy this priceless day.</p>

19

<p>Congratulations!! It’s wonderful when the letter finally appears!! The parents can finally exhale, realizing how much breath-holding had actually gone on. :)</p>

20

<p>fantastic!
she worked hard and that hard work paid off!
And does it mean you’ve done a good job as a parent? YES it does!:)</p>