<p>I busted butt through high school. Did my best (35 on ACT, 4.0 GPA, 39 on IB, 5s on 10 AP tests, president of clubs I care about, national ranked in music, working, recovering from abuse, best college recs ever, etc). And I was accepted to Oxford, but no ivies, and I can't afford Oxford. Literally my entire friend group was, and despite the fact that the "lesser" schools I wad accepted to are perfect fits, I can't help but feel inadequate. To top it off, people have found out about Oxford and ask me why I don't go, especially compared to my other options. When I say the program and cost don't match, they say things like "there's always grad school." it makes me feel like crap.</p>
<p>My issue is that most people don't recognize the schools I am considering and I don't have any help paying for grad school, so I don't know that getting some frilly post-undergrad degree is in my future.</p>
<p>For more context, I was WL at Princeton and Rice, bigger name schools.</p>
<p>At some point you will look back on this and be grateful it worked out this way. Don’t worry about what other people say. Own your decision to attend a school that is a perfect fit.</p>
<p>So from what I’ve learned from my time here on CC, I’ve come to realize that your undergrad is going to be what you make of it. If a “lesser” school is your fit, then it’s YOUR fit. You want to go somewhere for you first four years where you will thrive and be happy, not somewhere that will lift people’s brows when you tell them thats where you attended. If you can go to undergrad for very little and you like the school, thats your best bet.
Second, there is no such thing as just a bachelor’s these days. Bachelors = high school diploma for many jobs so in order to succeed, you will likely need a master’s, maybe higher. So grad school WILL LIKELY be in your future. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean it needs to break the bank. With money saved on undergrad, you will have a better chance of paying for grad. Also, I’ve heard many undergrads help fund students’ graduate studies (I’m not 100% on the details but I’ve heard something of the sort, I’d look into it.)
So while you may feel like less than because you didn’t get into Ivies and your friends did, who cares but you? It’s not their lives and you will be more than happy at a school that fits you. If you were able to work hard and succeed in high school like that, you’ll be more than capable of tackling college and making yourself a great student no matter where you go.</p>
<p>Grad school, other than in law, medicine and business, is often free in exchange for your time as a researcher or a TA, plus you would also get a small stipend which should be enough to live frugally while you continue your studies.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>My son attends Brown. You would be surprised how many people have never heard of it. And so what?</p>
<p>I went to a party last night where 1/4 of the people had ever heard of the school I’ll be attending next year despite it being a top 10 institution (no one knows about liberal arts schools). It hurts, but you get over it quickly. On your resume people only look at your last accomplishment which in your case will probably be grad school and I can tell you, whatever grad school you choose to apply to will recognize the value of your undergrad education.</p>
<p>^This is very true. I’d say I get 50/50 name recognition with my college, which is a top 100 institution. Most people wouldn’t recognize the majority of the top 100 schools; most people can only name a handful of really high-profile institutions. That doesn’t mean other places aren’t great. More people probably recognize Ohio State than Swarthmore, for example. They probably recognize Clemson over Williams.</p>
<p>But my grad school professors universally had heard of my undergrad college and knew of its quality and its success in producing PhD students, especially in the social sciences. People who do new grad hiring and grad school admitting make it their business to be aware of the good places.</p>
<p>And tbh, I’m at my “dream school” for grad school (Columbia) and I am really glad things worked out the way they did. I’m glad I didn’t come here for undergrad; I’m glad I went where I did. I doubt I would’ve found my field, and my passion, if I had come here.</p>
<p>snarlatron…nice “■■■■■” comment. Classic for you to not reply after that ■■■■■. Maybe you oughta stay off these boards if you’re just going to contribute snark.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for all your responses - it’s hard to express this type of insecurity to my friends (who can’t really relate). On a side note, what type of ways are there to pay for post-undergrad? I am going to have to finance that myself and I want to start to learn what options I have…</p>
<p>maddawgcello, if you are waitlisted, the key is to express intense interest in getting in. Waitlists may not be ranked, so you may have as much chance as the next student at getting any leftover spots after accepted students answer. So, immediately let each of those top school know you’re thrilled to be on the waitlist and eager to be accepted in full. Thank them profusely and tell them about another project, send another essay that engages them. Send a smiling photo of you doing something outstanding for your community, solving some problem for others, etc. Get an additional recommendation letter from some community person you helped or someone who saw a performance you gave. Be in their minds without looking like you have no social skills or awareness. Getting on a waitlist is not the time to be passive. It’s the time to step up to the plate and make another good showing, an encore, a freebie but goodie. Be encouraged and make it happen! (You could call the admission office enthusiastically and thank them and ask them specifically if their wait list is ranked and if so how you are placed. Be aware, however, that in some years some school do not have any open places after receiving responses from accepted students. </p>
<p>If you don’t get in, and this is risky, you have the option of taking a gap year and doing some kind of amazing research, community action project or something that will really add to your profile and reapplying. Ask Oxford if you can defer enrollment for a year to try to raise funds. You can also ask them if they have any funds or know of any specific scholarships for you to apply for. And, you can ask for crowdfunding for your Oxford tuition if you can do so charmingly to get some money that way, maybe giving a small custom poem or something else almost free for you to give in thanks for it. Don’t give up on Oxford because of money. Be innovative. If you’re an Oxford guy, you can do it! Really! Get people to donate pledges for you doing something they want to see–nothing dangerous or illegal of course. Maybe governor will let you throw a pie in his face. A lot of people would donate to that in any state! Haha!</p>
<p>re paying for grad school: do your best during your 4 years at whichever undergrad institution you choose to attend. I and almost all the grad students at my top-ranked school and program had out-of-state tuition waivers, and enough of a stipend to live on, primarily as teaching assistants and research assistants. It was a great opportunity to discover the joys of teaching and research. The students that did not have TAs or RAs came in with lower GPAs and GRE scores and had to have loans or other financing. Sound familiar?</p>
<p>When you apply to graduate school, you are going to subject yourself to almost the same process as applying to undergrad: take the GRE, write the essays, visit the schools. Some will invariably accept you but not give you money, some will give you money but not be the perfect fit if you had every choice in the world. Compromise is key now and in the future, as well as a healthy dose of gratitude for the opportunities you have been given. I understand your insecurity about the future, also having had no parental contribution for grad school to rely on, but please: remember to enjoy these undergrad years first. Allow yourself to explore classes, discuss ideas, and change your major. Where you are is far less important than what you put into your education.</p>
<p>You should be aware that some of those lesser known schools are VERY WELL known to grad school and/or professional recruiters. Especially if the major you chose is one of their strengths. Do not assume before you do some research and talk to people in your field. You can very easily look at “those” school’s grad placement statistics.
I suspect some of the schools you got in are actually very well known.<br>
I understand you feel disappointed, worried etc. It is ok to vent for a while.
I do not want to sound patronizing but you will soon realize that there is whole new world out there!</p>
You seemingly don’t care about what you might learn at the college you attend, the friends you might make, the opportunities that you might take advantage of, the mentoring you might get from the faculty, etc. No, you have an “issue” because your neighbors and HS buddies (who I bet constitute “most people”) aren’t impressed by where you are going to college? </p>
<p>There are SO MANY great schools that aren’t household names. Examples: Claremont Mckenna, Case Western, Bates, Vassar, Reed, WUSTL, Franklin and Marshall, Smith, a million others. But I would be happy to do my undergrad at any of those schools</p>
<p>mikemac - I think you misunderstand my frustration. It’s not that I believe that my options aren’t totally 100% perfect for ME, because I absolutely LOVE (as in L-O-V-E) every one. I also believe that I will get a more well-rounded, eye-opening experience at many of these schools. It’s just that after working so incredibly hard, I wish I had more “name brand recognition.” And yes, I do value the “name brand.” Does that make me shallow? Eh. I think most of us react stronger to Harvard than to Berry, positive or no. Point is, I’m jealous of the recognition and attention my peers are getting when even though the school I will be at next year is great for me, it’s not well known.</p>
<p>If you plan to go into a STEM field, then your graduate experience may be worth more to an employer than undergraduate - it’s up to you, then, to make the most out of wherever you go for undergrad.</p>