They never call..they never write

<p>helipcoptermon, I read your post at just the right time. I also have a freshman daughter and was just thinking of her and deciding that I really couldn't/shouldn't call her in the middle of a weekday afternoon because it might somehow interfere with the pace of life at school. She calls, IMs, or sends brief emails when she has something to say or share, so I am learning to be patient--and to limit my imagination about possible reasons we aren't hearing from her:) I remember your original post from the old forum and felt almost as though I had written it. I am so glad you posted this most recent one and that you and your daughter enjoyed lunch.</p>

<p>Mstee--I would definitely take that as a good sign. And I agree with Fredo; he'd miss you if you weren't there.</p>

<p>Gotta share this story: Yesterday, our son called in the middle of the afternoon here but his cell phone connection was so bad I could hardly make out a word. I told him to call back. Then I started to think about the few words I'd been able to make out: "died" and something like "Jet Blue." Who died? Where was he flying? So, I called HIM back right away. As he picked up the phone, he said: "I just dyed all my socks blue." Turns out he'd called from the laundry room for advice.</p>

<p>This past Sunday, we had our very first call from him that was just a chat, with no logistics to be worked out, no gripe, no excuse other than to share some news. It took a month and a half. I hope it happens again!</p>

<p>Sac, REALLY FUNNY story! Loved it! It's amazing how our minds distort even tiny bits of information! I still am trying to interpret how my D could claim she's enjoying her smoothie maker after she told me that she can't afford to buy "fresh" fruit as it is too expensive. On the other hand, I figure "tequila" and a 10 cent lime are probably well within her budget!</p>

<p>Well, you think it turned out to be not scary news--he's the one with all blue socks!:)</p>

<p>Sac:</p>

<p>If the rest of his clothes turn blue, he can audition for the Blue Man Group!</p>

<p>Luckily, light blue is the school color... But it's true I found it much funnier than he did.</p>

<p>sgiovinc1: Our minds work alike. I think you're on the right track. When we showed up the night before parents weekend, our son informed us he already had plans and would see us the next day. Turns out he'd signed up for a bartending class.</p>

<p>Bartending class. Gotta love it.</p>

<p>Just heard from S1 in Boston--who called the south pacific becasue he can't find his grandparents at the parent's reception. In Boston.</p>

<p>DH dropped S2 off for PSAT at 7 am--because S2 had to serve a two hour detention BEFORE the exam. (Don't ask. He had a six hour detention last Sunday). </p>

<p>FH (frazzled H) called to say he'd gotten the 'hand' when he asked about the whereabouts of S2's calculator. "Don't worry. (Hand) I left my bookbag in the IT Center the day before yesterday and it will probably still be there." </p>

<p>We love the 'hand'--grrrrrrr.</p>

<p>H swung back around after Starbucks--for some peace of mind--and spied wayward bag. Presumably S2 has calculator for test?</p>

<p>What did Jamimom call these boys? Recalcitrant students? She's a nice lady.</p>

<p>I'm beginning to see a certain beauty in "they never call; they never write." The stuff we hear about when they finally do call can certainly give parents pause. Bartending class, blue socks, etc. LOL Although I ought to know better better than to get worked up when D calls and reports something that's troubling her, I still do carry it around with me until the next time we talk and I realize once again that she'd forgotten about her "woe" the second she'd downloaded it onto me. Hmmm. Maybe I'll smarten up one of these days.</p>

<p>Cheers:</p>

<p>Students can earn quite a bit of money bartending for school functions. Hope your S located his grandparents!</p>

<p>Sac: S almost took that class, but because of band, decided to wait. Too bad--they might've finally met!</p>

<p>Im still in highschool, a junior, and im laughing at all the parents stress. Dang!</p>

<p>As someone who's been to two whole parents' weekend events, my advice is to make sure you give your kid some space while you're there. S/D will probably have homework, and may want to hang out with friends on Fri and Sat nite - then sleep in, of course. At my S's college, there are events for parents, art exhibits, lectures -- all kinds of interesting and fun things to do that keep you from spending too much time grilling your kid for more info.</p>

<p>If it makes you guys feel better, I think every other time I've talked to my parents this year it's been to completely freak out about something really trivial. Somehow, I've decided that my entire life will be destroyed if I make the wrong decisions. I can't imagine that's fun for them.</p>

<p>(P.S.- For some of you really worried, since i started school (jr. now), my mom and I have a MUCH better relationship than when I was still living at home, so... take that for what it's worth. Just give them some space and eventually they'll remember you exist.)</p>

<p>Thanks for the reassurance, muppetcoat. Having a daughter who is through college, I can tell you the relationship gets even better. Actually, she called her little brother who is a freshman and told him he should call home with good news, once in a while, not just to gripe. Then she called me, said he sounded on top of the world, and that I took his gripes much too seriously. We see now who the grown up in the family is.</p>

<p>Garland, apparently the bartending class ends in an exam and only the students who score in the top 15% really get gigs. Wonder which exam my son is studying hardest for -- physics or bartending.</p>

<p>definitely should be bartending--better job security! :)</p>

<p>Sac:</p>

<p>I bet the bartending exam is harder. S had his midterm. He had a marathon study session the evening before because he'd tried to solve a physics problem like a mathematician (oops!) Since all the following problems depended on the first, he had to redo the whole homework. By contrast, he said, the midterm was easy. Bartending, however.</p>

<p>After a very long day, I was persuaded to order a gin and tonic. Not wanting to be tipsy but obviously no longer very coherent, I said "go easy on the tonic." The bartender gave me a funny look. :o</p>

<p>sgiovinc1--my D is at CMU too and she is WORKING ALL THE TIME. She does not have time to go to parties. The architecture students live in the studio. She is staying up until all hours to get her assignments done and then getting 2-3 hours sleep and going in to make formal presentations and get critiqued. The only thing she does other than work is play ultimate frisbee and she had to miss the two "away" tournaments because of studio assignments on the weekends. The good news is that she loves the other "archies" and is doing well adjusting to the whole scene.</p>

<p>I will add myself to the list of parents (esp. Moms) who have had a rocky adjustment to having a child exit from the household. I dreaded it for years, but that did not make it any easier. A Mom and daughter can be very, very close. But as soon as we left her off at college, she did not have time for us. I know she is busy (see above!) and happy, but I MISS HER SO MUCH!</p>

<p>Anyway, I was amused by sgiovinci's lack of enthusiasm for buying warm clothes for Pittsburgh. I am trying hard to get my D to buy a real winter coat because to me Pittsburgh is a COLD place. (It's colder than Baltimore...)</p>

<p>Yesterday was 'family day' at our S's school.
He is definetely one of the silent young men type; a call on Sunday eve is his usual thing.</p>

<p>Anyway, I guess I'm glad we've been giving him some room. He was absolutely fun to be around the whole day. We caught him in a short Jazz performance then on to the football game. We even sat next to him in the stands as he worked in the Pep band for the game. Very relaxed and easy. Nice.</p>

<p>Dinner out at an Italian place. Calamari, pasta and wine. I thought he'd try to give us the slip and connect back up with his friends but he seemed happy to see us....a miracle for the mom who misses him a bunch.
He even gave his little sister some attention and patience which is NOT the rule!</p>

<p>Cool to see him maturing before our eyes!</p>

<p>Musicmom, remind me where your son is at school. One of the things I miss the very most is no longer hearing our son play music -- no sounds of soloing over cds in the kitchen, no performances we will be going to. </p>

<p>During parents weekend we shamelessly resorted to bribery. Spent a whole afternoon taking him to the hardware, grocery, and drug store to stock up on what he needs at our expense. Took him to a jazz club one night, out for a good meal on another. The one night we gave him his "space" he called up and said all his friends were with their parents and so he ended up eating with us that night too, though after everyone ditched their parents by eight or nine o'clock, they still got in their partying later. (On our own, we also had some lovely meals, walked around the city, went to a play.)We had a great time with and without our son and bless him for picking a place to go to college that we love to visit.</p>