They never call..they never write

<p>Marite -- I'll have a gin and tonic, hold the tonic...reminds me of that movie "Five Easy Pieces." Here's Marite after that drink::D Ready to deal with the college application process!</p>

<p>sac-</p>

<p>Our son chose to stay close to home, only about 75 minutes away at
The College of New Jersey (TCNJ). He is obviously very happy there so it was a good choice for him. </p>

<p>We (foolishly) thought the geographic proximity might actually translate into
visits home once in awhile :). Not the case. His plate is full with classes, lessons, rehearsals, practice, and lots of new friends and impromptu trips into Philly. He is a tuba/electric bass player.</p>

<p>Can you share what your son plays? Yep, we miss that music permeating our house......</p>

<p>Our son came home for the weekend. :) I am dragging out leaving to take him back. He actually has Monday and Tuesady off to study for mid-terms. He hasn't made any moves towards getting his stuff together, so maybe he's decided to stay one more night. I wouldn't mind that at all ;) .</p>

<p>We also miss the music. Imagine my surprise when my husband popped a CD in the car yesterday and there was our son singing and playing his own music. He made us a CD with 15 of his songs on it. I am so happy, now we can be his closet groupies. :D</p>

<p>We communicate by IM mostly. He doesn't like to talk on the phone when his roommate is in the room and it seems he is always on the room. I figure the IM is better than nothing. </p>

<p>I think I'll go order a pizza. He loves that and maybe it'll get too late and he'll decide to stay one more night.</p>

<p>musicmom -- He plays tenor and soprano sax. does your son play jazz tuba? If so, that's pretty wild!
In high school, our son also wrote some pieces that the jazz band performed. That's another thing I miss, hearing him plink out some melody on the piano, and then hearing it later on the stage. At college, he's also just joined a klezmer band for fun. I'd really love to hear that, too. Three thousand miles is a long way to go for a concert...:(</p>

<p>cruella -- you're as shameless as the rest of us. hope the pizza works.</p>

<p>sac-
No, no jazz tuba that I've heard! Is there really such a thing? I thought I had heard it all between my husband and son, the dueling musicians!
Son plays tuba in wind ensemble, brass quintets, some concert band and Dixieland. Electric bass in the jazz ensemble and his rock garage band:).</p>

<p>You must be missing those performances because of distance but sounds like your son also is thriving. It must have been cool to hear pieces your son wrote performed. Our S has not gotten into much writing yet; he's just a very eclectic kid into listening and performing a real variety of stuff.
He watches olllllld musicals on TV with his dad and VH-1 stuff with his crew.
Pretty out there. Can you tell I am missing having him around?</p>

<p>Musicmom, my son is also about 75 miles away at Swarthmore and goes to Philly often. He was here last week for midterm break but it went in a whirl and we saw him for maybe 3 days at most. He visited his other friends nearby, some at Columbia, some at NYU and some at Rutgers. Even found time to link up with other Swatties in NYC. Not complaining but the time just flew by and we rarely saw him at home.
:(</p>

<p>I am most likely to be one of those kids who doesn't call home very often, or write letters, etc...I am not one to get homesick, and I like living an independent life; yet, I still want to keep in touch with my parents every now and then. I think it is best to call them(your children) once/twice a week, because you do not want to pester them by calling everyday. My parents do this to my two older sisters, who are in college, (one a senior, and one in her last year of getting her PhD) and although they can handle it, there is no way I could handle it. I love my parents with all my heart, but I want to spend some time independently. </p>

<p>In conclusion...this is probably why most kids do not write, or call as often. They are breaking into the "real" world, and want to experience it without qualms of doing things that perhaps their parents wouldn't like, or experience it from their own perspective, without any outside aid.</p>

<p>I'm glad I'm not the only one who made my kids make me CDs. :) S#2 has a concert next week and sent S#1 a couple tickets. S#1 is going to take the Chinatown bus from Philly to NYC to hear it, then stay overnight with bro. I'm glad S#2 will have somebody in the audience. Sure wish I could be there.</p>

<p>On another note, I sent S#2 an email Saturday: "Your long, newsy email you wrote yesterday on your fall break must have gotten lost in cyberspace. Could you please resend it." We got an email the next day titled "Take 2" which opened with: "Dearest Mother and Father, I have been looking forward to my day off to write a long and detailed message to you all about my week." At least he can take a hint. :)</p>

<p>achat-
So, just what is it with this visiting friends thing? Must they go see EVERY other campus within the first semester?<br>
I enjoyed your post....we see the same from our son. Next weekend, he asked if we could pick him up.........so he could grab his car at home and head up to RI for the weekend to visit. Another friend will join him there from NYC. He has the 25-26th off as mid-semester break and he SAYS he'll be hanging at home those days. We'll see!</p>

<p>binx-
your son sounds very perceptive! So nice his brother can be there with him for 'family' events. Does he love being in NYC?</p>

<p>Why will my S be home on midterm break? Cuz his sister got them Green Day tickets on Saturday, and he'll be voting on Tuesday. It remains to be seen whether or not he stays home on Sun./Mon. (since his school is so close), but no matter what, we'll "see" him the Thursday after, because same sister (the ticket queen) got the whole family floor seats for REM at the Garden.</p>

<p>Garland -- Do they have midterm break? When is it? First I've heard.</p>

<p>depends on school. My D does not as one midterm was last week, another is tomorrow</p>

<p>Sac: it's not exactly called midterm break. But the school is closed for election day, and classes are suspended for Monday, so it becomes a de facto midterm break (unless I've got this wrong....)</p>

<p>(Sybbie: our sons go to the same school; that's why my comment was confusing.)</p>

<p>Just had the sweetest conversation with my son. He is at school during break week- which he says is "fine" and very relaxed. Midterms went well. He reminded me that my birthday is in 10 days...and then asked "theoretically" how much it would cost to send a letter to Texas( we live overseas, this is where our pouch mail is received)! This is a son who has been notorious for many years of gifts of "undying love and affection" . I am shocked that he is thinking this far ahead about me. I suspect I have a sister or husband to thank...Also a bit surprised he hasn't got the US postage thing straight yet, but...no matter...one thing at a time!</p>

<p>We are having the opposite concern, my DD is calling us all the time. As we have free long distance between our family cell phones, she calls sometimes two and three times a day. She will call when walking between classes, for a break from homework and to tell us if she has any good news. I notice that she doesn't call if she gets a bad grade on something, usually with good news. I am glad that she calls, she is doing well in school and enjoying her roomate, classes, and the other stuff she is involved in on campus. We have always been a family that celebrates each others victories, whether it be in class or on the athletic field/court. I still call my husband at work every time I win a tennis match (competition not the daily social matches). It must just be the difference between boys and girls!!</p>

<p>I was waiting for him to call Sunday or Monday. Late last night I got an email saying he's been very sick. I emailed him back and told him to go to the clinic. I'm sure he won't, but at least I tried. He's got a supply of every medicine I could buy OTC. I just hope it's not strep or the flu. This is when it's hard for me, when I want to be there to take care of him and I'm 1,500 miles away.</p>

<p>Our D had a burst of mid-terms and papers the week before last and cautioned us that she wouldn't be able to call that week.</p>

<p>Parents Weekend called for some comparing of schedules. About her only complaint was "I like to have you guys here but it's hard to get any work done." We sat in two of her classes but there were others where there wasn't room etc. and we were on our own. We went to the President's Address on our own...she used the time to study. In fact, we ignored most of the officially scheduled events and did our own thing. TheMom and I did things like seeing the art museum and the arboretum on our own while D was otherwise engaged. We got a chance to meet a number of her friends in passing--I recognized all the names but still have trouble keeping straight who was whom..."Is that the one from South Carolina who thought she was liberal until she arrived here?" etc.--and all of them seemed very nice.</p>

<p>Other than that, a combination of calls, e-mail, and IM's seems to mostly work.</p>

<p>Over30...ouch.</p>

<p>It's awful to be too far away to bring over chicken soup...</p>

<p>I want to report on a strategy to get beyond the two minute phone calls and one line e-mail or IM messages. (Our problem is not infrequency, it's brevity.) I've written a couple of long letters and e-mailed them to our son, hoping he'd get the hint. Made them very newsy, where we've gone, whom we've seen... And, finally, opened the e-mail this morning and found a whole PARAGRAPH from him, including some of what he's planning to do this weekend. Breakthrough!</p>