<p>today's article address this weeks mail for exclusive LA-area private prep and elementary schools. The obsession starts way too soon, IMO.</p>
<p>It's funny, but I was thinking about how early this process starts for some while reading the thread on broken dreams. For my children the first competitive situation was preschool. Then again for kindergarden, middle school and high school. With the horrible state of public schools in our State, many children have gone through this. College rejections will not be as big a deal!</p>
<p>Years ago when my cousin called excitedly to tell me her daughter had been accepted to Harvard, I interrupted her to tell her I was about to call to let her know my son had just been accepted to *****Nursey School. After a brief silence she said in a horrified tone "You're not equating the two, are you?" "Certainly not," I replied. "It's easier to get into Harvard."</p>
<p>Years ago there was a VERY funny (in my opinion) skit on the Tracy Ullman show where Tracy and her preschooler, and another mom and her preschooler were interviewing for posh PK programs in NYC. When asked favorite veggies, Tracy's kid said "peas". The other kid said "okra". The talent was a riot. Tracy's kid sang a rousing version of Take me out to the Ballgame. The other kid played some concerto on violin. I have to say...I laughed and laughed. Now I understand that this is so sad but true.</p>
<p>I have to say, Lalady, your story has left me at a loss for words....</p>
<p>I lived in Hyde Park for several years and because of H's situation with Uof Ch, we were entitled to a reduced rate at the Laboratory School there. Because we lived in an area with many U of Ch families, and because of where I worked, it was definitely going to make life so much easier if S got into Lab. The problem was that there were three highly desirable private schools in Chicago--Parker, Latin and Lab. So there I was, in the midst of a rat race I did not even know existed and would have hooted, had I heard of it. For me Parker and Latin were not even considerations because of location and price. But it became clear very quickly that other alternatives were not going to work any where as nearly well as Lab would. </p>
<p>It is crazy when the frenzy starts at preschool, but if often a byproduct of city living. Though there are other choices, many other choices, they can be alot less convenient, more expensive and more difficult in arranging carpools. Also, in my case, I had become friendly with some moms, all of whom were going to send their kids to Lab. So, unfortunately, I have been there and done that.</p>
<p>Years ago, I took my older S for an interview at a private school for kindergarten. There were 75 kids applying for 9 slots, 6 of which were already reserved for siblings! So the real admission rate was less than 10% for kids without hooks. Besides the interview, the application consisted of two recs, and an observation, and interviewing the parents. One reason my S was admitted, I'm sure, was that one of the recs was written by his former baby-sitter, who had graduated from that private school. In the end, we opted to send my S to public school.
I invite you all to read the post I posted last week about preparation for Japanese private primary schools. It makes even the most nail-biting parents on CC seem like slackers. :)</p>
<p>WHen we moved to the big city- I had no idea about schools- we bought a house a block or two away from the elementary school- I had walked to my elementary/junior high and high school- what else was there to know?
However when the local kindergarten teacher advised that we find another school ( when I asked if there would be other things for D to work on- while the teacher was working teaching reading) I was stymied.
D did a co-op kindergarten program to buy us a year before we figured out what to do. We looked at lots of other public schools ( our district has choice) and private schools. I was confused- and D didn't get into the one public school that I thought would be great. However she did pick an elementary school that she really liked and she got in with lots of financial aid. So that was fairly easy- forever after- she has always gotten in to whatever school she wanted to attend- she has good karma I guess. Now she even works at her old elementary school- a school which has considerably more "cachet" with the Microsoft and amazon kids there but the teachers are still the same- and the kids are cool. The parents are a little bonkers though- they look like Stepford wives- black lambskin jackets- streaked blond hair- pointy heels worn with skinny euro jeans. ( I admit I am probably jealous- I would have to cut off two toes to be able to wear pointy shoes- or else they wouldhave to be 5 " longer than my feet!)</p>
<p>Emeraldkity4, the Stepford Wives part cracks me up......its the same here.....how old are we again?</p>
<p>Maybe I should open a pre-pre school program to teach kids how to prepare for these grueling exams. Hopping on one foot, counting to a thousand, how to pretend enjoying sharing a toy and teaching them to respond with multi-sylabic words and phrases like, "indubitably or C'est domage!" Any takers?</p>
<p>Serious lunacy</p>
<p>Mr. B:</p>
<p>don't forget the lessons on establishing a tyke-hook. We wouldn't want any BWRk's to enroll! :)</p>
<p>A well meaning neighbor put my daughter's name on the wait-list for the local co-op nursery school when my d. was a infant -- good thing, too, as I had just moved into the community and didn't have a clue. That pretty much was the only way in. A spot opened up when my d. was 3; however, I turned it down. ;)</p>
<p>Actually, what attracted us (and other parents) to that particular private school was its non-competitive climate. The interview was for the parents. Kids were just observed as they interacted with other kids and played with toys. The nerve-wracking part was due to the few slots, not the process itself. Luckily, we found a public school that had the same philosophy as the private school, so that's where our Ss went.</p>
<p>Don't joke Mr. B, such consultants exist, especially in NY. I'm sure you all read about the guy who had his company donate $1 million to his children's preschool of choice.</p>
<p>All lunacy aside, in areas with bad public schools, parents who can afford a private school have no choice but to play the game. At many of these schools, it is almost impossible to get you children in later.</p>
<p>I'm surprised no one mentioned the IQ tests many schools give 4 year olds, par for the course in my community.</p>
<p>we were totally clueless at how competitive these schools were- I was really drawn to waldorf- just gorgeous materials- hand spun yarns and hand stained wooden toys- beeswax crayons...but they spoke about felt pens being too bright for children and looked sideways at me like I just confessed I fed my family Velveta and milkfed veal for sunday dinner, when I admitted that she already read( they don't teach formal reading till 7), I knew I would be a thorn in their side if we went that route</p>
<p>The co-operative school that I was leaning toward was a lottery which she didn't get into- we had already tried Montessori and it wasn't for us- and we looked at schools which had gallery quality art lining the halls ( all looking suspiciously alike), had seemed too impressed with her precocity, or was blunt about their lack of financial aid. I gave up- I just asked her where she wanted to go because I couldn't really tell what was reasonable anymore.
She named a school which required an IQ test- ( which the insurance paid for because it was part of a follow up study for high risk infants), but where the students were in mixed grade classes and had lots of hands on activities.
I said "sure" and she got in, they gave her great financial aid, and she attended for 5 years.
I don't know what I would have done had I lived in a community where you have to get on the waiting list in utero- ( of course I never understood that either- how could you tell what kind of school would fit- if you didn't know the child yet?)</p>
<p>We just waltzed right in to a great Montessori school where S had a blast from preschool to 5th grade, but he did undergo a very competitive admissions process for middle school, complete with testing, references, timed live writing sample, intervew of student and parents, a very big deal. The admit letter was on cream-colored heavy paper stock, engraved-looking print in an Olde English style font, and had lots of tiny metal confetti stars in it. (That's what the $20K per year paid for, I guess).</p>
<p>I don't mean any offense to those of you who have had to go through the process described here to get your kids into private preschools, elementary, middle or high schools because I realize this is often the norm in certain communities. But I do have to say that I am very glad we don't live in that kind of climate or situation. It is one of the things I love about living in Vermont, frankly. Our public schools are pretty much the only game in town, other than a private ski academy. Some send their kids to boarding school out of state but otherwise, almost EVERYONE goes to public school. We do not go through any of the stuff described here. I read the Nanny Diaries once and my mind was opened wide by the description of the tutoring to get into kindergarten or nursery school, whoa. I had no idea that went on but I do now! </p>
<p>Here, my kids went to private nursery school but there is nothing you have to go through to get in besides there being an opening, as in first come first serve. And gee, I thought THAT was already a possible difficult situation. When my first child was a baby, I was riding up the ski lift with a friend who had taken over for my maternity leave at the elementary school when I had the baby but had gone on to direct/teach at a private nursery school that everyone in the community thought highly of. She said to me casually that she put my D's name down on the list for when she would turn three so that she would have a spot as it fills up early and I was taken back as I had no idea and would not have thought of that until she was like 2 1/2! But both my girls did two years of private nursery school, though our public school does have a preschool program as well. But otherwise, they attended public school from K-12. </p>
<p>We did go through a lot to get one of my kids into public kindergarten but that was a different story. And I have even paid tuition for public school, again, a different story. Both pale in comparison to this story, however.</p>
<p>We live in the environment described (LA TIMES is the local paper on the doorstep every morning...we also get the NYT so as to be ecumenical) and with gritted teeth we stayed the course of public school, K-12, not only for financial education but for the education. Too much self-entitlement, too much "guard gate mentality" in the private schools; some girls at D's ballet studio either gasped or were wide-eyed with wonder that she went to a public hs.</p>
<p>Same for us, Thedad. I've had colleagues who asked us either, why don't we move, or why don't we send kids to private school? Some of the same people made it plain that they thought my kids didn't have a prayer of getting into the schools they were applying to, coming from "that" high school.</p>
<p>Actually. many of us who have gone through these horrors and gone into hock in the ptocess wish our kids could apply to college from the bad neighborhood public schools. We don't kid ourselves about who has the advantage.</p>