So, I attend the University of Iowa, and this is my fourth semester here. I’m a sophomore, and academically, I’ve done really well. I’m about 5-6 hours away from home, and this has been extremely hard on me. I’m a super home/family oriented person, so being so far away from home has really taken a toll on my emotional/mental health. Last spring semester I was so depressed/anxious that I was considering transferring to a college closer to home…but I eventually backed out, thinking that things would be better this year. I’m in the same exact place now that I was last year. I’m not happy here at all…I just feel like I don’t fit in/feel really alone. I’ve made friends here, but I just don’t feel like I’ve really connected. I’ve tried tons of things to try to be happy – joining clubs, hanging out with friends, yoga, counseling, etc. but nothing has worked.
People always say not to transfer schools because of homesickness…but I feel like I have a different situation. I’ve stuck it out for over a year and a half, and I still don’t like it here. Being so far away at a school I don’t even like (nothing against Iowa, it’s just not for me) is really taking a toll on my mental health, and all I want is to feel happy and at peace with myself.
I’m in a similar situation–I’m a sophomore at a big school, I’ve done well academically, and I’m a 10 hr drive from home. I had a good freshman year, but this year things are different. I have friends, but I don’t feel close to most of them/don’t see them as often as I would like. I’m also a lot more homesick this year. Seems like I’m always counting down the days till the next break, and when I go home, I dread coming back.
I wouldn’t say I hate it here, but I definitely don’t love it, and I am not as happy as I know I’ve been in the past. I’ve been thinking about transferring too, but I’m not sure if this is a legitimate enough reason to go through the process and take the risk of having no friends at all as a junior in another school.
@jl2998 I totally agree with you…I just feel like this school is too big for me and I feel so lost. I know transferring as a junior would be really hard but I think I would obviously have to put some effort into making friends and meeting people in my classes. I’m considering moving to the university in my hometown, so I’d already know people there too. I just feel like college is supposed to be the best years of my life and I’m miserable, so something needs to change.
@collegegirl42 Yep, I feel the exact same way, really just overwhelmed by the size of the university. And yeah, I’m pretty bummed by how this has all panned out. Like you and everyone else, I don’t want my college years to just be ehhh. I’m worried that this shitty feeling just comes from me not being mature enough to handle being on my own, and that this is a problem that a different college won’t be able to fix. And then of course, there’s the academic aspect that we have to consider…something holding me back is the fact that I do like the academic scene here. I recently changed my major, and classes are more interesting now. So there are signs that maybe it will get better Obviously, since you go to college for academics really, I’m just not sure if I can justify leaving just because I’m unhappy.
That’s promising if you’d already know people in the university.
You are unhappy. You have good options closer to home. You’ve done your best to be happier where you are, and it didn’t work. File the transfer application. If you get in, and it is affordable, that would be the time to decide whether or not to actually change schools.
I am worried however about this statement “I just feel like college is supposed to be the best years of my life and I’m miserable, so something needs to change.” Please don’t over-romanticize college. If the best years of your life are your college years, then there is nothing to look forward to. I am not saying that you should stick with a place that makes you miserable, but rather that “good enough for now because I know I have better stuff coming” can work too.