Hi I’m sure there are a bunch of posts exactly like this but I’m a sophomore at my state’s flagship “party” school and I’m considering transferring to a school closer to home. I’m extremely conflicted between what to do because although I spend most of my time at school hiding in my room, I don’t 100% hate it. There have been times when I’m at home and I miss my school sometimes. However, when I’m at school I have constant anxiety and have grown pretty depressed the past year. This is nothing new for me, but the anxiety has gotten especially bad recently. I do have some friends here but I’m just not happy. I get extremely homesick and come home as often as I can when I don’t have work. My parents have noticed somethings wrong but I don’t know how to bring it up. I also had a job that I loved in my hometown, and if I transferred I could work there year round instead of just on breaks from school. The pros of transferring would be I would be closer to home, the new school would be a bit cheaper, I could work my old job, etc. However I’m just not sure. I love my classes at my current university and I’m on track to graduate in a year and a half. I’m not sure how all my credits would transfer to the new school but I would still want to graduate relatively soon. I’m also concerned about community. I would have to completely start over if I transferred since most of my friends are away at different universities. And thinking about leaving my friends at my current school makes me really sad. Sorry this post is rambly I’m just extremely conflicted and do not know if I should just power through this next year and a half (even though just thinking about that kind of makes me want to cry) or go through the stress of trying to drop everything and transfer even though I’m not sure if I would even be completely happy with that either. If you have any advice please chip in I’m completely lost lol
There are a lot of factors here. Personally, with being able to graduate in 1.5 years despite having just started your sophomore year, I might see if there’s a way you could improve your school situation enough to stay there.
Do you know what the root of your unhappiness is? Often it’s loneliness, but you say you have friends – is the problem that they’re not close friends? Or maybe that you aren’t participating in non-party-related activities you enjoy?
I am also at a big party school (Penn State) and have gravitated towards quieter, smaller clubs and activities. I have no interest in going out and now that I’m so busy with school and my chosen extracurriculars, I don’t really feel “left out” of the party scene anymore. I do my own thing and that’s okay.
Graduating in a year and a half? Good for you! I know it doesn’t seem like it but that time will fly so fast. Especially when you throw in vacations from school and summer. Its hard to realize this when you are young, but this time left at your current college is so short. Try to focus on the positives, enjoy the times you do get home, and get to work at your other job keeping your eye on the ball toward that graduation. Then you can decide if you want to permanently live at or closer to home and/or attend graduate school at the institution there. You are doing a great job. Give yourself a pat on the back and press on.
You don’t have to “power through.” Go talk to someone. Start with your parents and a school counselor. Pay a visit to your family physician to check for depression and to rule out physical causes. Maybe think about taking a semester off to deal with the sadness and anxiety you’re feeling. College can wait.
Great advice here. Also actually investigate the realities of transferring, credits that will transfer, what requirements will be left to complete your degree, if you transfer what is the best timing? Then you can make a reliable pros and con list on which to base your decision.
I agree that you should get yourself to the counseling center asap. This reads as, “I actually have a bunch of good reasons to stay where I am and I don’t know why I feel so anxious.” This is an issue of you needing treatment. You have given no reasons for WHY you feel anxious and depressed. Go see a doctor or psychiatrist right away too, because to me, you absolutely sound as though you need to begin using some medication such as Zoloft or lexapro. These medicines will correct the chemical imbalance in your brain, which is the source of your issues, and they are very effective.
I think transferring at this point will cause a huge amount of stress and anxiety. Home is a place you feel safe, so it’s natural to want to go there. Leaving behind freinds you really like is also causing anxiety. A counselor can help confirm if you have an underlying issue that needs treatment. Make an appt asap. Good luck.