I attended University of Oregon for all of one semester. Here is what I will say about it:
1st day, found out my dorm neighbor was a girl with whom I had a unpleasant experience with freshman year of high school and had hoped to never see again (she transferred high schools after frosh year)
got into a long distance relationship shortly before starting college. This meant that throughout the semester I was constantly holding myself back out of fear that I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend if I drank a bit at a party or whatever
for some reason very soon after I arrived I started to feeling this crushing sadness, depression, idk. I felt very antisocial. I’ve never felt like that in my life and I’m still not sure what caused it, I sort of suspect my relationship didn’t help though because I missed my boyfriend and felt even farther from him at UO then at home for some reason. Oh but also I had started birth control a couple months prior and switched right after getting to UO. That could’ve been an influence on my emotions…
roommate was nice, but extremely social and made me feel like even more of a recluse
but I MADE FRIENDS. With two people in my writing class, hung out with one of them a good deal. there were other people in that class too who I might’ve gotten to know had I stayed but I kinda pushed them away because I decided to transfer at the end of October
I loved the independence. Loved it. Even though I was otherwise unhappy I really enjoyed being able to do whatever I wanted on the weekends, stay out as late as I want, etc.
In hindsight, I’m not sure why I left. I’ve regretted it almost ever since I came back. When people ask me why I left i say “it was too cliquey, wasn’t the right fit”… come on, me. You would’ve been fine.
Current school: Portland State University
I live at home. Yay, 30 minute bus ride. Yay controlling parents who will make it extremely difficult to have any sort of normal social life OR a relationship.
I feel very disconnected from campus. I go to class, maybe workout, then I leave. I hardly talk to people. I’ve met nice people in my classes but only made like one friend, and she is busy so we hardly talk to get together. And it’s been 5 semesters.
I miss independence.
I worry I’ll look back on these years and think I missed out on the college “experience” or just having fun and idk, growing up as a young adult
The problems are:
I’m already behind schedule because I didn’t pick a major until my sophomore year. But from what I’ve seen I’ve already completed all or most of UO’s general education requirements whereas I have like 6 more classes I need to take for PSU’s.
I’m pretty sure my parents will be very against it. My mom didn’t really want me to leave in the first place because UO is a better school and she didn’t think I gave it a chance. I just asked them a couple weeks ago if I could move out and they shot me down, so I’m sure they’d accuse me of just wanting to move out.
UO would be a bit more expensive.
I don’t know how well my credits will transfer or apply to a major at UO, but I’m going to talk to an academic counselor there Friday.
You may ask why my parents have so much say in this, well, when I first started college my parents told me “you don’t want student loans, we’ll use a private loan”. So they got a loan with a good interest rate and that’s how I’ll be paying. It’s in their name but for me. So they still have say over what I can do. And unfortunately my parents’ retirement money was mistaken by FAFSA for spare funds so I get no aid.
Hi, I’ve never been an admissions officer but I’ve been a university faculty member for 20 years. I’ve never heard of anybody transferring back to a school they left unless it was for academic reasons (such as, they didn’t do well academically freshman year at a four-year school, so they went to a community college for a year and then went back to the four-year school) or compelling personal reasons (we had a student who had to move back home for a year because her mother had cancer and she had to take on some family responsibilities, so she was a commuter student at the university in her home town that year and then she came back to us after her mom’s situation was better). I’m not trying to be critical, I’m trying to help you out. Here’s some of what I would ask you if I were giving you an interview to transfer back, so I would recommend that you give these some thought:
“In hindsight, I’m not sure why I left.” There were reasons at the time, which you listed above. “It wasn’t the right fit.” What’s changed, about you and about our school, that makes us a better fit for you now? (Your depression is none of their business unless you want to bring it up, but if you do bring it up, make it clear that you’ve addressed it somehow. I hope you’ve gotten help for it. If it’s a still an ongoing issue, make sure the school you want to return to has the resources to help you deal with it, since you’ll be away from home.)
You’ve already been to two colleges that you wanted to leave, one of which is ours. How do you know you’re going to want to stay here this time?
Are we a better academic fit for you than where you are now?
Just trying to help. Good luck with your decision! John
I know what you’re saying, I actually know someone who said they were at Uni a, then Uni b, then Uni a, and were going back to Uni b… Which is a bit extreme, but whatever I guess… I mean like I said I regretted leaving very soon after doing so, I don’t think I was thinking clearly and it was just an uncomfortable situation and once I was home for a couple weeks realized my mistake.
It might be better academically, it kinda looks like UO has larger variety of classes which I can apply to my major and it may turn out that it would take me less time to graduate there. And I think I mentioned they have more study abroad programs for my major, if I could apply credits from that to my degree it would be killing two birds with one stone. I think my appointment Friday should shed some light on the issue though
I don’t think much of your parents knowledge of the college process give what they did on your loans… federal loans usually have better rates and more protections for the borrower. I agree that you need some solid reasons for going back if you plan to, you come across as pretty wishy-washy.
Everything in your post is entirely irrelevant, in my view. Do you have an academic goal or not? Who cares about dorm neighbors or boyfriends or parents not appreciating everything you do? Follow their rules in their home and do your best academically, so long as you are at your current school.
Questions to consider:
What are your academic and career goals? How are you accomplishing them now? How would you better accomplish them at the former school?
Why did you leave (really…in your heart of hearts, and not asking you to tell me)? Are you mature enough or even focused enough on a goal for this college thing right now, or would you actually do better if you dropped out for awhile, worked and formulated your goals, and then returned?
Are you a person who can stick to a plan or do you run the first time you aren’t “happy” (News flash: NO ONE is “happy” all the time. You have to decide to be happy. Happiness is a decision. It doesn’t fall on you from heaven.).
What will improve academically if you change back to the former school? Why are you a good candidate for this, the school will want to know?
Figure out what is going on, make a decision, and stick to it. Boyfriends come and go. Friends/acquaintances come and go. Degrees are forever. Do your best academically. That’s what matters here.
Intparent - I dunno really, they just told me they got a really good interest rate on the private loan. I’m a bit annoyed they forced me into it in the first plate because now they’re really concerned about retiring on time and whether I’ll be able to pay them back when that would’ve never happened with student loans. Do you think there’s a way to switch them to student loans? Yeah, I know my reasons at the moment aren’t very solid. After I meet with the academic counselor I’ll compare my future courses at UO and PSU and see how it looks. I also am going to research career services at each school to see if one is better. One thing I did notice is it looks like for your senior project of sorts at UO you’re supposed to do an internship or something, at PSU it’s different, more like a special class…
TranquilMind - short term I’d like to study abroad or work as an au pair in France, whichever is better… Graduate, go to graduate school possibly in France or another country which is a better value. I haven’t decided exactly what I’d like to get my master’s in but probably something along the lines of Environmental Planning or Management. I’d like to get a job with an international organization and relocate to Europe.
I’m really not sure why I left. I assume the reason wasn’t good enough because I regretted it so quickly. But maybe back then I wasn’t mature enough to deal with missing my ex and not having everything be perfect. But like I think I mentioned, I was feeling very emotional during that time and every since then to maybe last fall I’ve had a lot of emotional ups and downs which I can only contribute to hormones and maybe switching/getting off birth control (sorry if tmi) so I can’t be certain I was thinking clearly which I know sounds like an excuse but I just remember this crushing feeling of anti-social-ness and I felt really down all the time and didn’t even know why. Also, back then I was still planning to spend a couple years at a public school then either transfer to a better school or one in the UK (which I was planning to do for a while). So I may have figured it didn’t really matter anyway because I wasn’t planning to spend the next 4-5 years at PSU anyway. And the realization that that’s what I’m going to be doing changes things. And dropping out isn’t really an option, I don’t think my parents would like it either unless I was working enough so I could start paying off my loans but I really would prefer to just focus on school because the longer I take to finish my degree the longer before I’m independent.
Ah, I mean that’s kinda hard to say. I dunno if I’ve had much freedom to “run” when I wasn’t happy other than when I left UO. And since then I’ve been somewhat happy at PSU, if super lonely and feeling somewhat adrift.
And I forgot to mention that I don’t need to actually transfer, just “re-enroll” since I was previously admitted.
I talked to several people on my campus and on Facebook yesterday, and apparently what you’re talking about doing is a lot more common than I thought it was. I’d still suggest that you come up with a really good answer when they asked you what’s changed to make you want to come back to a school you left in the first place. Good luck!
Look into federal loans in your name. They need to fill out the FAFSA for you, though. You can only borrow a certain amount, though (intended to keep you from getting over your head in debt). I am not sure how the amounts apply if you start borrowing in the middle of your college career. Generally amounts are $5,500 for freshman, $6,500 for sophs, and $7,500 for the last 2 years.
No matter what school decision you make, switch to federal loans next year. You don’t need your parents guilting you more about paying back before they retire, Sounds like they do expect you to make the payments once you graduate.
How much have they borrowed that you are expected to pay back so far? That could change the answer of what you should do going forward if it is a lot, and you have vague plans of grad school abroad and what isn’t a very lucrative major – you run the risk of digging a debt hole for your parents and yourself.
I agree with other posters that you don’t seem to have clear academic goals. You need to figure this out, and get a better handle on you finances, IMHO.
JohnTRH - thank you, I plan to try and ease them into the idea by first tonight mentioning how I’m going to see and academic counselor, and then eventually building a list of several strong points.
Intparent - is it an issue if FAFSA has never given us any aid? How come the amounts are set, are you expected to pay the remainder? I think my mom said I’m at about 18k or so. Also I don’t know if mentioned but I have 50k saved for me for paying for school we’re just waiting as long as possible to use it.
Part of my reason for grad school in Europe is in most places it’s very cheap. I think Germany and Sweden are free, France is very cheap, UK more expensive but probably not on the level of US private schools.
Yeah I know that about my major, I’m struggling trying to decide whether I want to get my masters in maybe something more focused with a better job market or what. But how do I not have clear academic goals? I thought they were pretty clear…
So this is what I’ve gathered from your winding posts:
You currently don’t have a major, but you want to, maybe, go to grad school so that you can go to Europe.
You would like to work as an Au Pair in France
You would like to live in Germany, France or Sweden and maybe the UK.
You liked having your independence at school when you were at UO, so you want to go back.
The only thing you are currently certain of is your need to be in Europe. I don’t think there is a European vacation degree.
Being an AuPair doesn’t really require a degree. You will be a 24-hour babysitter tied to children, with less independence than what you have now.
How will you survive and work to pay off those loans in Europe? You will have difficulty getting their form of a work visa if you are not their citizen. American employees typically work for an American companies overseas. Have you investigated if environmental planning companies exist in Europe? What international companies will employ you?
So, do you just go to classes, disinterested in whatever is presented?
I don think you are ready to be independent because nothing suits you except going to Europe. You want your parents to fund your expensive return to UO for what major?
You need to get a part time job and start paying back your loan.
I’m an Environmental Science major, perhaps you missed the part where I said “I didn’t pick a major until sophomore year”. Past tense. I spent one semester at UO, 5 at PSU, this would make me about to be a junior. I have picked a major, therefore.
I want to go to grad school in Europe because it’s cheaper and I can better make international connections so I can eventually relocate and work there. I was thinking about being an au pair to earn money and improve my French because PSU doesn’t have any options in Europe for study abroad working in the environmental science field.
I mentioned all those countries as examples, I wasn’t saying I wanted to live there…
I’ve thought about finding an American company which has hqs overseas, but even if I do that I’m still interested in schooling in Europe because of the price and connections. And if I were in France I imagine I could perfect my French.
I don’t know why you’re making so many assumptions about me. I’m very interested in my field and I want to do all I can to further myself in it. But yes, my independence is very important to me and I’ve always felt that way.
And my parents are not funding my schooling. They have a loan, which is for me, which I am paying the interest on.
FAFSA doesn’t mistake retirement money for spare funds. Can you clarify what this means in your original post? Do you mean your parents have money NOT in a 401k, IRA or pension plan that they want to spend in their retirement years and not on college?
Yes, the issue was that their money intended for retirement wasn’t in a retirement account. Since they realized this they’ve been putting as much as possible in but it’s a slow process and even by the time I’ve finished my undergrad they won’t have put much of a dent in it