I really need help here. I’m a current student at an Ivy League university, but I have not been completely happy. I am a second semester freshman, and I had similar thoughts of transferring last semester, too. My grades last semester were okay (3.0), but my main concern is my happiness here. I have several acquaintances that I will talk to or party with, but everything just feels superficial to me. I feel so lonely. I am incredibly homesick, and I feel like being at school so far away from my family and friends has been really awful for my mental health.
I’m not sure if I should talk to a counselor here first, but as of now, I really just want to transfer back home to the state school in my hometown. I really am lost and have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any experience with these feelings? How did you cope with them?
Yes, you do need to go talk with a counselor there first. They have worked with many students just like you over the years. They will have ideas for you. And if you do decide that you want to transfer home, they will support you in that decision.
Meanwhile, you need to know that many of the people you see every day are just as miserable and homesick as you are. You just can’t tell from their faces that they are. One of the reasons why everything “seems superficial” to you, is that you haven’t figured out how to get to know anyone past the surface level. Give yourself a little more time to see if you can do that. It may help you to look on this experience as though you were in a foreign country, and needed to learn a new language. One book that might help you figure out how to approach your new life is “The Art of Crossing Cultures” by Craig Storti. He has excellent suggestions for adapting to new places.