<p>Back in December, D requested that the prof who knows her best and gave her A's in two classes write her grad school (masters) recommendation. The prof said of course, but she was busy and please get back to her in February when her calendar would be clear. In February, D contacted her again, and the prof asked that D write a draft recommendation letter highlighting her accomplishments in her classes. I thought this showed an astonishing level of laziness on the prof's part, but D wrote the draft (including a discussion of a class project that related directly to her grad school selection), I edited it to add some sophistication to it, and D submitted it to the prof along with her resume. When no recommendation had materialized two weeks later, D contacted the prof again. She apologized, and asked D to remind her (ridiculous!) every few days via email, which D did. Several more weeks passed, and still nothing. I told D to show up at the prof's office hours to reiterate her need for the letter and the fact that the timing was now urgent. Prof apologized and said she'd get right on it. Two weeks later, still nothing.</p>
<p>It now seems very likely that D won't be admitted to grad school because of incomplete applications. I have no idea how to advise her. I did tell her to find out what classroom the prof will be in Monday (the woman has very limited office hours--like I said, lazy), plant herself outside, and at the end of the class address the woman with tears in her eyes and explain how upset she is that she may not get into grad school now. Beyond that, I have nothing. D has two employer recommendations that relate to the field she plans to study, but this was her only academic recommendation. Going to the department head seems pointless, since a reprimanded prof isn't likely to issue a sterling recommendation. I'm so furious with this lazy, stupid beyotch--whose salary I help pay!--that I'd love to personally show up at her office hours and let her have it. Unfortunately that won't help my D. Even if this prof reconsidered providing the recommendation (which I don't think is the case), at least she owed my D an explanation and a chance to find an alternative recommender. This is a student's future were taking about--real life, not ivory tower nonsense. I feel that writing recommendations is a normal part of a prof's job description and, after promising to do so for my D, this woman is simply derelict in her duty--keeping in mind that the letter was already written for her! Once this sad tale is over, the department head and every dean I can find will hear about her failure to do her job.</p>
<p>I'm mostly just venting here, but if anyone has any thoughts, especially anyone in academia, I'd love some input.</p>
<p>Ask another professor instead of waiting around for this one. She should have asked another professor at least a month ago rather than wait around for this one to get around to doing it.</p>
<p>In retrospect, I suppose D should have sought another recommendation, but this is the only prof she really felt a strong connection to, and the one she got two straight A’s from. D’s basically a B+ student, so this was by far her best bet for a strong recommendation, plus the woman kept stringing her along, so it was hard to see when to pull the plug. And now, how does she seek another recommendation at this late date? “Hey, I know we haven’t discussed this at all, but could you write me a recommendation immediately because my first one fell through?” I can’t imagine THAT being well-received or producing a decent letter.</p>
<p>While I agree with you feeling angry that the Prof is acting flaky after promising a recommendation, the proper course of action if a Prof is the type to need reminding is to not rely on this Prof and immediately ask another. </p>
<p>Moreover, getting top grades is the bare minimum for getting some Profs who are willing to write a good recommendation. I’ve known some who won’t unless they’ve known you well and have had a good/great impression of not only your academic work, but also a good attitude…such as having compatible personalities* and not having an air of entitlement that can be an issue for some. </p>
<p>I’m also wondering if this Prof. is really unwilling to write a rec due to other reasons such as not knowing your D well enough or having a negative impression for reasons including hidden personality differences/conflicts. </p>
<p>Sometimes, some Profs…especially the ones inclined to be people pleasers by personality or touchy-feely types tend to have a very hard time saying no when they should. Even if it is something which is and has been under the complete discretion of the Professor. A good reason for undergrads to learn how to interact and get along enough with Professor so they don’t turn them off or if they do…to accept it and find another Prof more congenial to their personality. </p>
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<li>This plays a key role in tenure track hiring as well as potential colleagues/senior Profs want to make sure the junior faculty working under/with them aren’t going to be too disagreeable to work with in academic department meetings, academic conferences, research collaborations, academic service to university/college, etc.<br></li>
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<p>If your D even emits a tiny portion of the apparent entitlement you’re displaying over getting recommendations because “you’re paying her salary”…I can clearly understand why said Prof may be put off so much by that attitude that she won’t write a recommendation.</p>
<p>One can’t expect all recommendations to pan out. Hopefully D has a backup plan. BTW at this stage of the game your D needs to do this stuff on her own.</p>
<p>cobrat, everything you say about the relationship between a student and professor is certainly relevant to why a prof would decline to write a recommendation, but this one didn’t decline, she enthusiastically agreed. I don’t know if you’re an academic, but if you are, I’m sure you would never lie about your willingness to supply a recommendation nor assure a student that a recommendation was in the works and then procrastinate for weeks and weeks.</p>
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My daughter is completely humble and respectful and wouldn’t dream of saying boo to any prof. (Doesn’t take after her mother at all…) But if expecting a professor to do her job and keep her promises is “entitlement”, I plead guilty. I say all the “entitlement” comes from someone who thinks that because she has a PhD and the title of Professor, she can screw around with someone’s life with impunity. And the fact is I do contribute to her salary because I pay a tuition bill every semester, and this woman only has a job because people like me are willing to pay for their children’s higher education. So the least my D can expect as part of her expensive education is to be treated with respect and honesty. All I can add is that I’ve supervised many employees in my day, and someone with this woman’s work ethic and attitude wouldn’t have lasted in my employ for ten minutes.</p>
<p>sosomenza, I don’t know what you’re talking about. My D is doing everything “on her own”.</p>
<p>MommaJ, I can sympathize. One of my kids had a similar experience applying to private high school. The high school required a recommendation from the English teacher who promised to send one and didn’t. The teacher eventually told us it had been sent so I called the admissions office asking the to please double-check and was screamed at that the teacher had never sent it. I did plant myself and was told by the teacher (at this point, past the deadline) that there must be a misunderstanding-- she would not write a letter and thought it was just a checklist type form. (I had to bite my tongue since this was an English teacher.) Kiddo was wait listed at that high school and never got off the waitlist. For what it’s worth, kiddo is now graduating as an English major froma top lac so, yeah, kid can write. </p>
<p>I’m not an academic, but I have several academics and teachers in my family and friends. </p>
<p>As I said before, you’re right to be angry at said Prof for being a flake as the evidence from the Prof’s behavior clearly shows that and it’s wrong. </p>
<p>However, that must also be balanced out by the fact a recommendation is not an entitlement and Professors/instructors are and must be free to decide who gets them and who doesn’t. Unfortunately, this also means that the decision to provide the recommendation can be revoked whether due to reassessments of academic performance/attitude, depth of knowledge of student needed to write a good recommendation, or time constraints. </p>
<p>Hence, a good reason to immediately look for another Prof if the initial one shows ANY hesitation to write a recommendation or is getting cold feet as this Prof seems to be exhibiting. Not to mention the fact that a recommendation obtained through anything perceived as badgering or nagging will likely be tepid and pro-forma and thus…have the same effect as a negative recommendation…the last thing anyone needs. </p>
<p>However, using the “I pay her salary” as part of your argument IMHO undermines your argument for the following reasons:</p>
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<li><p>If she’s a senior Prof or one who gets lots of grants or other outside sponsors for her research, it’s very possible most/all of her salary is being paid for by those grants/sponsors…not by the U and thus…not by your tuition dollars.</p></li>
<li><p>It betrays an attitude not very far removed from those held by those who use that argument to justify mistreating customer service staff or lower-level public service workers.</p></li>
<li><p>The customer service model doesn’t really fit the education world…especially higher education. A much more accurate analogy IMO is a paid gym membership where you’re paying for the opportunity for good education like a stronger more fit body…but the student/gym member still has a substantial responsibility to show up and put in the requisite effort to get positive results.</p></li>
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She’s an Assistant Prof, in a social science field, if that means anything.
I don’t see the analogy. No one is being mistreated. I’m just expecting courtesy and respect–and yes, I also expect courtesy and respect from customer service staff and especially from public service workers (of any level) who are paid via my taxes.
Yes, fine, I accept that analogy. My D has shown up and put in the requisite effort by 1) excelling in these classes, 2) politely and respectfully requesting a recommendation, 3) supplying a draft recommendation upon request, and 4) constantly providing “reminders” as requested. And just as one would expect the gym staff to do its part by keeping the gym clean and maintained and demonstrating how to use the equipment properly, there are expectations of a college professor.</p>
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Since this prof has neither refused to provide a recommendation nor revoked a promise to do so, none of this applies. And I beg to differ–it would be incredibly unprofessional and downright unethical for a professor to promise a recommendation and “revoke” that promise at a point when it’s too late to find a substitute. (Note that my D is not taking any classes with this woman this semester, so it’s not as if her opinion of my D is in flux.) But again, that’s not the case here. This person is just lazy, selfish and disorganized.</p>
<p>Her schools have rolling admissions–this isn’t for a PhD program, which might be different. Her apps are completed except for this one outstanding piece. And one of the schools is her current institution, which may be forgiving of one of their own professor’s laxity–I imagine reputations get known within a college: “Oh, you’re waiting for a recommendation from HER? Hah ha ha!”. </p>
<p>The idea that she might have to take a year off because of the ineptitude of one woman is pretty darn upsetting.</p>
<p>But it’s not entirely that woman’s fault. As soon as she realized it was a shaky situation, she should have moved to plan B. Professors are not required to write recs. Who would she have asked if this prof said no?</p>
<p>I’m sorry she’s in this situation but it should have never been allowed to get this far.</p>
<p>From my observations of teachers/Profs and classmates, if they ask for 3 & 4…students should immediately find another teacher/Prof as a recommender. </p>
<p>Asking for 3 and 4 are signs that the teacher/instructor has flaky tendencies, is overwhelmed/overscheduled, and/or is a people-pleaser/touchy-feely type who doesn’t know how to say no “because it isn’t nice”. No matter how we feel about the above…the most important takeaway is in such a situation…best option is to say thanks and immediately find another recommender. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, it’s also a good introduction for your D to learn how to deal with flaky and/or people-pleaser/touchy-feely type supervisors/bosses who flake out on commitments and/or don’t know how to say no when they need to do so. </p>
<p>Also, while writing recommendations are technically part of a Prof’s/teacher’s job…it is a very discretionary part of it. Thus, a Prof/teacher is, in practice, free to decline most/all recommendation requests if they don’t feel they can write a good recommendation for most/any students in their classes in a given semester/year.</p>
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<p>While the manner in which the Prof went about it may be wrong, it is not unethical for a Prof to change their mind about a recommendation. Assessments can change…even if a student isn’t directly being evaluated in a class setting. </p>
<p>Maybe she found another student who she was more deserving of a recommendation for whatever reason. </p>
<p>As for not having an alternative, that’s your D’s responsibility. One rule of thumb I learned in HS is to always make sure you have at least 3 teachers/Profs who are happy and enthusiastic to write recommendations. Part of this also includes observing their actions with other classmates, asking older classmates, and how they organize themselves to assess their reliability.</p>
<p>The " professor flaked out on the recommendation " issue is incredibly common among grad applicants. While it is really crappy that the professor didn’t hold up her part of the bargain, ultimately it is the student’s responsibility the ensure that their application is complete.</p>
<p>Unfortunately (or fortunately), most college seniors aren’t jaded enough to have had a lot of adults fail to follow through with their responsibilities and promises. My D would never have imagined that nos. 3 and 4 should have set off alarms. (To be honest, neither would I! It’s inconceivable to me that someone would screw around with a young woman’s life this way, I don’t care how flaky, touchy-feely or conflict averse she might be.) This was D’s first and only experience with getting a recommendation from a professor, and her high school recommendation process went off without a hitch. I think she handled it pretty much how anyone else in her shoes would have–she believed what the woman told her and accommodated her requests. In other words, she thought the best of someone rather than the worst. Silly girl, eh?</p>
And my respect for academics drops a little further…
Well, that seems like an impossibility now. It’s far too late to start looking for another recommendation, especially one that needs to be produced yesterday. And what in heavens’s name would she say? “Yes, I know it’s ridiculously late to ask, but one of your colleagues who, lets face it, knows me much better and likes my work much more than you do, totally flaked out on me, so you’re next on the list, and by the way, can you get it done tomorrow?” That’s just not going to happen.</p>
<p>I very much doubt that. Especially for those who come from the working and lower-middle classes attending local public schools/colleges, going about their daily lives, and/or even bother to make cursory observations of humanity. </p>
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<p>She’s either very lucky or attended an upper-middle class public or private high school where they have the staff and resources to provide more personal attention than the average public school. Especially those in lower SES areas. </p>
<p>Even at my NYC public magnet HS, there were some teachers who were known to be flaky with recommendations or who flaked/procrastinated as a form of a “soft no” because they didn’t know how to say no directly. </p>
<p>Most of us knew enough by junior/senior year to avoid the entire issue by having at least 3 and preferably more recommenders ready and willing to submit recommendations in a timely manner. Moreover, none of us were under any illusions that we were “entitled to recommendations” even if we got topflight grades in class with a given teacher/Prof.</p>
<p>Not only is this offensive, but it’s also a violation of the TOS to put swear words in posts.</p>
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<p>Do this and you will achieve three things:
1.) You will make it look like your daughter is not an adult by yelling at the profs for her. I realize you pay tuition, but it’s almost like you calling up your daughter’s boss and chewing him/her out.<br>
2.) It will burn some bridges, something which is even more damaging if she does a master’s at her current university.
3.) It will hurt the prof’s reputation somewhat. However, teaching let alone ancillary duties such as writing recs typically have little weight in the tenure decision. In calling her “lazy,” you seem to forget that they do research, and yes, her salary is probably dependent on winning very competitive federal research grants. These research grants are dependent on research performance. The reality is, as an assistant prof, I would expect that she is working a 90 hr workweek at least. </p>
<p>Yes, she is definitely in the wrong here for agreeing to do something and then not delivering. But it’s probably because she is simply overwhelmed by her other duties, not because of “laziness.”</p>
<p>At this point, I would either just ask point blank for the prof to print out the pre-written letter provided by your daughter, sign it, and send it out the same day. Explain that this is rolling admissions. If the prof doesn’t meet this last deadline, then ask someone else and just explain that you need it quickly because another prof agreed to do it but then didn’t deliver. But avoid negativity and don’t name the prof when doing this.</p>
<p>That’s a severe understatement. Academic fields…especially smaller sub-fields place a high premium on “collegiality”. If a given grad student comes in with a reputation of being “uncollegial” and worse, immature by allowing her parent(s) to be involved in disputes/areas that most would consider her responsibility, her reputation within the field/sub-field may end up being destroyed before she even starts her first day of grad school. </p>
<p>While this may not be as important in professional schools like law or MBA, it is for academic MA/MS and especially the PhD.</p>