This prof is infuriating!

<p>When the professor said “ask again in February” (two months away) it was already time to go to Plan B.</p>

<p>Are admissions to her desired grad program rolling? If yes, if my D asked in December and the professor told her to get back to her in February, I would have asked her is there were anyone else that she could ask (be I am anxious like that, someone asking me to wait 2 months for something would have driven me nuts).</p>

<p>When my D applied to grad school, she needed 2 recs. I advised her to line up 4 in case something goes wrong (it did, as one professor was going to be on sabbatical doing research out of the country), but she had her 3 back up recs.</p>

<p>MommaJ, curious as to the course of action your D has decided to take.</p>

<p>notelling: sounds like a good plan at this stage.</p>

<p>Update:</p>

<p>D waited outside prof’s office today, and the woman finally showed up 30 mins. late for her office hours (she didn’t show up for them at all yesterday). She was flustered, muttered something about having a lot of people at her house, said she hadn’t realized D had provided a full-blown draft letter as opposed to notes (so she never even read the email) and promised to “try” to get the letter out tonight, provided D emailed her “every hour”. No, I didn’t make that up–my imagination is not that wild. (Meanwhile, D has identified a Plan B professor and will speak to him tomorrow if the hourly reminder nonsense is not successful.)</p>

<p>I think we have identified a heretofore unknown level of flakiness.</p>

<p>MommaJ, none of this matters right now other than the fact that your DD needs a rec out ASAP and I wouldn’t bet anything that this flake is going to send it out or do anything even if your DD emails her every hour, texts her and calls her… There;s an old country expression, “that dog don’t hunt”, and your DD is on the hunt. She needs another “dog”. The priority is to get another prof to get out a rec , asap, and hopefully your DD will give another prof a “cheat sheet” so s/he can get a rec out asap, or your DD is going to lose out. Next time after one missed commitment, your DD should find another way to go.</p>

<p>When this is all done, she can report this prof for not doing her job.</p>

<p>Frankly, I would not have even pushed her on this at this point in time as I would not trust what she would do. She could sent a 2 line rec to the program that hardly will suffice and due to privacy rules your DD would never know. The prof has proven herself to be unreliable. I would go with that Plan B anyways. No telling what kind of rec this person is going to be sending out.</p>

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<p>I’m with Adad. The ship has long sailed regarding getting anything resembling a good rec out of the flaky Prof. At best, it’ll be a hastily written pro-forma tepid rec which’ll have the same effect as a negative recommendation…not worth it. </p>

<p>D should already be talking with Plan B and other Profs to get recs from them and forgetting about the rec from the flake.</p>

<p>“promised to “try” to get the letter out tonight, provided D emailed her “every hour”.”</p>

<p>That is the most ridiculous request I have ever heard. Doesn’t your daughter have classes all day? Sounds like this prof is on some kind of power trip or is psychologically impaired.</p>

<p>The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. At this point, the likelihood that this professor will get the letter out, or even one that your dau would want written on her behalf (even if it IS ghost-written already) is slim. If I was the prof, I’d be annoyed by hourly reminders. What part of get someone else to do it isn’t painfully clear?</p>

<p>I am just speechless! She needs to be emailed every hour in order to write the rec?!?!? That is just crazy.</p>

<p>Another in the camp of just move on. Your daughter would be better off with no recommendation vs getting a hastily written rec without much thought, because she may believe that your D is pestering her with the hourly e-mails (and may just refer to them in her recommendation letter).</p>

<p>She sounds like a total loon. Email her every hour?!</p>

<p>This should definitely be reported to her department head. Later of course.</p>

<p>

She ASKED for these emails–it all apparently has something to do with conditions at her home…or something. Heaven only knows.</p>

<p>I’m sure that once the opportunity for retaliation is past, D will report the incident to the department head, dean of faculty, and rate my professor. Even though D will never know if the prof incurs any consequences, it will help her to get some closure on this little nightmare.</p>

<p>While I do think the professor’s behavior is AWFUL, I think the advice to essentially go behind her back is pretty terrible.</p>

<p>I think if the student wants to report her, she needs to stop asking for the letter and presumably being nice to the professor, trying to get what she needs out of her. It strikes me as awfully manipulative to wait just until you get what you need out of someone and THEN go report them, while all the time being nice to their face and never letting on how upset you really are.</p>

<p>If she wants to report her, she shouldn’t act like nothing is going on.</p>

<p>I am not saying that’s what the OP’s daughter is doing - I am just really disturbed by this advice.</p>

<p>acollegestudent,</p>

<p>I actually feel similar. Go with plan B. Find another recommendation letter provider. Don’t wait any longer. She’s waited long enough.</p>

<p>Evidently this lady is having problems.</p>

<p>She’s not going to write the letter. Let it go.</p>

<p>The prof is shifting responsibility. If I need to remember to perform a responsibility, I set an alarm on my phone. I would never think of asking someone else to remind me, let alone hourly.</p>

<p>This behavior is so bazaar that I’m surprised it did not rear its ugly head before in the relationship your D had with this individual.</p>

<p>MommaJ, if you weren’t such a long time poster I’d swear you were pulling our leg. I really think your daughter should move on. This can’t be good.</p>

<p>This saga reminds me of the cable repairman.</p>

<p>What about the suggestion (way upthread somewhere) for your daughter simply to print out the rec and bring it to the prof for her signature tomorrow?</p>

<p>She can just send an email tonight with the draft recommendation (again!) and the question “Is this okay?” And then say that if it is okay, she’ll just print it out herself to save the professor the trouble. Then just show up tomorrow with the printed recommendation and a pen.</p>

<p>Don’t you think the letter would have to be printed on the prof’s letterhead or at least departmental letterhead to be accepted as legitimate?</p>