<p>D has worked her butt off for the past four years. 3-5 hours of homework each night. She chose to go to a tougher than average college prep school whose grading scale is skewed, so an A is only 93% or above, and so on, so a 4.0 from this school is equal to higher than from other schools. She took the SAT study courses. She took the SAT and ACT several times. A part-time job, volunteering, nice ECs, positive interviews, great recs, etc. More importantly, she is just the genuinely nicest young woman you could ever know. I know this is nothing out of the ordinary for many who read this board. With competition higher than ever, she was rejected or waitlisted at a surprising number of "safe bet" schools, including being waitlisted at her dream school which is a match/safety, but experiencing record applicants in part from being one of the Colleges that Change Lives schools. The schools she was accepted at are schools she isn't enthused about attending. </p>
<p>We're all feeling pretty whiny about there being no real reward for all that effort.</p>
<p>Hope your D finds a great school among the ones that accepted her and goes on to do well.</p>
<p>This year college admissions has been more of a gamble than in previous years. Come May, many admission officers may be disappointed as far as the yield of top students is concerned. So, if your D is on waitlist to her first choice school, she still has a good chance, IMHO.</p>
<p>I try to keep in mind that the goal is to get a good education. If your D got one at her more difficult school then that goal was met. If she has some schools that she likes and will attend which accepted her then that's another good thing. My D was waitlisted at her #1 choice but is happy with all the schools to which she applied so it's not the end of the world.</p>
<p>I feel like there have been a lot of "entitlement" posts lately. I can understand being upset because you don't get into a favorite school (or schools), but having the attitude that "I've done all this so I DESERVE to get in" is kind of ridiculous. Maybe I'm misintrepreting what you said, and I'm sorry if I am, but there have just been so many posts lately about this. Also, I think it's important for students to realize that their hardest work won't also be be enough. I think that everyone has a right to education, but not to a top-20 ranked college. Also, I'm sure your daughter worked very hard in high school, so did she really get no reward? Is getting into a top college the only possible reward? What about learning, work-ethic, helping others? Just things to consider.</p>
<p>It is much harder for girls to get into top colleges these days than boys, so I am sure your daughter was a victim of this.</p>
<p>That being said, this is a teachable moment for you as a parent--how can you mentor her to be happy with the cards she is dealt in life and how to blossom wherever she is???? You need to show her that you are happy with her just the way she is and your love is not linked to her ability to gain admittance to a top 20 school.</p>
<p>If she indeed has a strong drive and work ethic then she will be fine wherever she ends up----but will you be fine?????</p>
<p>One more point--you are looking for a "reward" for all her effort---how do you know that where she ends up will not be her greatest reward?-you may be pleasantly surprised that this may be the best thing that ever happened to her</p>
<p>Newatthis- from what I have been told - the colleges do look at the grading scales. Our public HS also uses a 7 point scale, whereas the surrounding schools use a 10 pt scale. Our GC assured the students that they would not be penalized by colleges for this. ( although I really do marvel at those "average gpa's of 4.55 and so that I see on some school's websites- I am pretty sure that it would be mathematically impossible at our school LOL)
Make the most of the opportunities at hand - it sounds like you've got a great kid- enjoy!</p>
<p>Another one of these threads....listen. Everyone has to go through the same thing to get into colleges. Some have connections, some are athletes, some are just really smart. Im sorry your daughter didnt get into her choice school, join the club of 100,000 high scoring HS seniors.</p>
<p>well sorry about that. dont have too much hope for the waitlist though. a bunch of idiots got in places they dont deserve and therefore will attend, as it is their best option by far.</p>
<p>I would not want to be in the shoes of kids today. They cannot enjoy their high school days because of having to worry about doing all this junk to try to get into their dream college and then they do it all and still do not get in. I wish your daughter all the best at her college and be proud that you have raised such a hardworking, nice girl!!! I am sure she will be very successful!</p>
<p>It is important that you have a positive attitude and not treat her like a victim. I am not suggesting that you are and I'm sure you're just venting on this board and are not presenting your disappointment as much to her. This is a good place to vent. I have a cousin who only wanted to go to one school since she was a little girl. We don't even know how she got stuck on it but it was only UNC Chapel Hill for her. She had great grades, great scores, etc. etc. but didn't live in NC so she didn't get in. She had friends with seemingly less stellar credentials who did - some politically connected. She was devastated so she chose a school that was well situated to transfer to UNC as soon as she could - Appalachian State University. She turned down UVA, W&M, and others to go to App State because she only wanted to use it as a transfer school. She loved ASU - loved the people, the place, the school and loved the experiences she got in her major. She is now in LA living her dream and is convinced she would not be where she is now without the experiences at App State. This could be a blessing and is much more likely to be if you treat it that way.</p>
<p>You've said you self: a harder college prep school. </p>
<p>Your daughter is well prepared for college. Wherever she goes (I'd bet she was accepted into some pretty good schools), she will be better prepared to work hard and get good grades. While her friends are bending under tremendous workloads that they don't know how to handle because they went to an easy high school, your daughter will shrug, work as she has been, get an A, and go to a great grad school.</p>
<p>My daughter, who is a junior, is currently looking at a range of colleges that includes a number of so-called blue ribbon schools. If she chooses to apply to them and gets accepted (she has good enough grades, test scores, etc not to be excluded from anywhere), I'll be happy for her. If she chooses to attend a hardly-known state school, I'll be happy for her. She sounds a lot like your daughter, and I am sure she will eventually succeed, regardless of where she begins her college education. She has already shown she can work for it. Good things will come.</p>
<p>New..
Sorry about the disappointment. I hope it is one of those things that actually works out for the best.</p>
<p>Maybe your experience can help someone else. In addition to the increased number of applicants, can you see anything else that went wrong? Would you or your D have done anything differently?</p>
<p>
[quote]
With competition higher than ever, she was rejected or waitlisted at a surprising number of "safe bet" schools, including being waitlisted at her dream school which is a match/safety, but experiencing record applicants in part from being one of the Colleges that Change Lives schools.
[/quote]
A lot of schools that are trying to move up in the rankings will actually waitlist or reject kids they think won't actually enroll. Perhaps your D was too qualified! I'm not saying I know this is what happened, but perhaps the CTCL school saw your D this way. Maybe they didn't realize she really wanted to go there. Did she show interest in the school by visiting, crafting her essays specifically for them, etc?</p>
<p>Have her counselor contact the school and see if there's more info to be had. You could also consider her writing a letter expressing her continued interest in the school, and promising that if taken off the waitlist she will enroll (assuming this is true, of course!)</p>
<p>I have a kid who is "busting their rear" to gain great experience also, but we all keep reminding ourselves that it's important to do these things because they want to and because the activities will help them succeed in life WHERE EVER they are. </p>
<p>So great college or not, what will be will be (and I'm one of those who thinks that everything in life happens for a reason) - so try not to spend too much time being disappointed (a little sulking is justified, however!), encourage her to pick herself up and carry on. With the experience she already has she will do fantastic regardless of the school she attends!</p>
<p>A word of advice for those with H.S. Juniors out there; from my experience with my D, I think applicants need to show a lot of interest. Obviously, campus visits are important. DD wrote thank-you letters to her interviewers, called them with questions, and generally showed a lot of interest in those schools she applied to. She did not have stellar scores but she did have a high GPA. She did not apply to any top tier schools but did apply to a CTCL school or two plus some exclusive programs at several Universities. I think this helped a lot; she was accepted to every school.</p>