Thought I was a strong writer, SAT essay flipped that on its head. What gives?

<p>So I took AP Lang and Comp this year and consistently wrote 8s and the occasional 9 (the maximum score) in practice. My teacher gave out 5 9s throughout the year so I know it wasn't just him being an easy grader. When it came to the SAT essay I was kind of shocked that the writing I saw in some practice essays was so weak, even for 12-scoring essays. I wrote my essay expecting to see a perfect score but got back an 8. What do I need to improve for my retake?</p>

<p>ASSIGNMENT: Are people likely to succeed by repeating actions that worked for them in the past? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations</p>

<pre><code> "It is often said that the definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing, expecting different results. This definition, for all but a few cases, is spot-on accurate. We can, in fact, reverse the definition in the contest of achieving success. One cannot hope to use similar techniques when facing different problems of vastly varied scope, but one must apply logic and critical thinking to adapt to a changing world and the issues it raises.

No great person of the past or present achieved their goals by being formulaic. Certainly the inventors of the past used their own creativity to generate new devices. Legos and erector sets were most definitely not in Da Vinci's arsenal, his own originality and genius flowed from his work. Socrates did not develop stunningly controversial ideas by way of algorithm or flowchart, but through deep thought.

Not only thinkers succeed without used a method, conquerors have achieved their gains in this way. Alexander The Great of Macedonia effectively perpetuated the Hellenistic empire by using versatile, ingenious strategies. The great military campaigns in history are marked by creative adaptation to change. The Mughals, Safavids, and Ottomans alike were powerful nations in the 1500's(sic) because they adopted gunpowder weapons rather than continues the use of antiquated technology.

It cannot be denied that repeated actions will lead to failure. The application of skills and knowledge to diverse environments is effective, but is not repetition, rather, it is an intelligent, and often effective way of ensuring success in a world with no formula."
</code></pre>

<p>Looking back, some of the sentences do look ungainly and awkward, but I had no idea that this would drop my score to an 8. Opinions and criticisms welcome.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance.</p>

<p>You appear to be a strong writer and I encourage you to explore this site. </p>

<p>Most likely, you will be told three things:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>You need to fill both pages. Your essay is comparatively short. **<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-act-tests-test-preparation/1350742-length-sat-essay-versus-score.html[/url][/B]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-act-tests-test-preparation/1350742-length-sat-essay-versus-score.html**&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
<li><p>You should use a five paragraph format. **<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html[/url][/B]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html**&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
<li><p>While your examples are not cliche, they could be more inventive. You should have three solid examples. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Here are other resources which you have probably seen: **<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/68210-xiggis-sat-prep-advice.html[/url][/B]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/68210-xiggis-sat-prep-advice.html**&lt;/a&gt; and **<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/955109-silverturtles-guide-sat-admissions-success.html[/url][/B]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/955109-silverturtles-guide-sat-admissions-success.html**&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>By the way, I scored an 8 my first time with a well written essay similar to yours. My second essay was vague, but it filled every line. That scored a 12.</p>

<p>IMO, your pov is not clearly stated; I can surmise what it is, but that takes too much work as a reader.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Sure I can deny it. By repeatedly throwing a football around, Peyton Manning is bound to complete plenty. Michael Phelps has done rather well by repeating his boring lap routines. (This sentence by itself and a par lead-in just makes no sense.)</p>

<p>Do consider the boring, 5-par concept and link the paragraphs together.</p>

<p>I’d also strongly advise you not to switch from “we” to “one.” And I’d also be shocked if that kind of writing earned a 9 on an AP English exam. Like jaw-to-the-floor shocked.</p>

<p>that should not be an 8, solid 10 compared to what I have seen.</p>

<p>This response will focus on your arguments and, more specifically, the way you present them.</p>

<p>SAT scorers are not supposed to debate the writers of essays. That said, the quality of the arguments, especially whether or not they are clearly and coherently expressed, logically consistent and adequately supported with facts, examples and reasons are all points that will be scored. As part of that score, the depth of insight and analysis of the topic is important. Test takers are expected to demonstrate the ability to analyze the prompt and to make mature and educated comments about it. (Again, whether or not the scorer actually agrees with those comments is irrelevant.)</p>

<p>This, I think, is where your essay has problems. In general, you write in almost absolute terms that repeating actions that have worked in the past cannot lead to success “for all but a few (never named) cases.”. </p>

<p>I understand your point is that innovation and progress require original ideas stemming from creative thinking. But in your haste to write, you seem not to have checked to see whether that was actually the idea you were conveying to your reader. It seems to me that you knew what you were trying to say, but you were leaving it up to your reader to make the logical connections between ideas and the inferences that tie your actual statements to your intended meanings.</p>

<p>An example:</p>

<p>“It is often said that the definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing, expecting different results. This definition, for all but a few cases, is spot-on accurate.” (Actually, it’s not; it’s a platitude.)</p>

<p>“We can, in fact, reverse the definition in the contest (sic) of achieving success.” </p>

<p>This is not an effective statement of the idea you are trying to express. What you are trying to do is to introduce a different definition, the definition of ‘success’. Besides, what does ‘reverse the definition’ mean? Does it mean you want me to stop reading, go back to the first sentence, and reread it in reverse order? In order to understand your idea, that’s exactly what I have to do. (So much for the smooth flow of ideas in your essay.) And I must do it “in the context of achieving success”. Exactly how do I do that? I can reread your definition of insanity backwards just fine as it is, but how do I do it “in the context of success”?</p>

<p>“One cannot hope to use similar techniques when facing different problems of vastly varied scope, but one must apply logic and critical thinking to adapt to a changing world and the issues it raises.”</p>

<p>This is a bit of an overstatement. I cannot even ‘hope’ to use similar techniques? And what do you mean by ‘similar’ techniques. Similar to what? You haven’t mentioned any techniques at all up to now, so what techniques are the techniques I cannot hope to use similar to? And finally, I understand your statement applies to those occasions when I am facing “different problems of vastly varied scope”, but even on the edges of human experience, either in space or at the bottom of the ocean or in the microcosmic world of bacteria, don’t scientists use, at least on the analytical level, similar scientific techniques? Aren’t the logic and critical thinking you mention ‘techniques’? Isn’t that called the ‘scientific method’? Is that what we cannot even hope to use?</p>

<p>At this point it may look as if I am starting to debate you, and essay scorers aren’t supposed to do that. But I think I am pointing out a contradiction in your logic, more so at least than contradicting your point of view. The terms ‘logic’ and ‘critical thinking’ have definitions that place them in the category of cognitive ‘techniques’. To say that one cannot use the same techniques repetitively when faced with problems of varied scope, while also recommending that one approach such problems with logic and critical thinking, is, in itself, a contradiction.</p>

<p>A second point deals with disputing facts. A reader is not supposed to penalize a writer for errors of fact or for expressing contrary opinions. Thus, you can express the opinion that Republicrats are infinitely smarter than Demicans, and you may even express it in the form of a fact, and as a reader I must restrain my urge to leap out of my chair and challenge you to a duel. Thus, even though I would regard your statement about Socrates as an error of fact, I must confine myself to deciding whether your erroneous points are clearly presented, logically analyzed and relevant to your larger point.(Not so much. It was a flat assertion and nothing more.)</p>

<p>Finally, your essay adopts an extreme and, in my opinion, seriously unrealistic point of view. Your thesis is that “for all but a few cases” there are seldom times when we should approach problems in way that have succeeded in the past. I understand your idea that creativity, critical thinking , and logic are superior to blind acceptance or unquestioning reliance on tradition or routine. But in your haste to present that idea, you seem to overlook glaring faults in your own argument. Are you suggesting in almost every case we should forget everything we ever knew about the solutions to our problems and to do something different? Actually, that’s not a question. That is what you are suggesting. Shall we throw out science, technology, manufacturing, art, philosophy and approach each new problem with the mind of a young child?</p>

<p>Don’t be in such a hurry to write that you don’t take time to think about what you are really saying.</p>

<p>I will save my opinion of JuniorMint’s advice for another time.</p>

<p>^This is a highly useful and comprehensive critique, especially if the OP truly expected a perfect score. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Wood’s advice is vital. Twenty-five minutes may not be sufficient time to polish a well-developed and well-planned essay, but that is why a true essay will be appreciated more than the formulaic, five-paragraph, three-example, score-seeker essay.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>It is academically deplorable that I tacitly advocated the quantity over quality side of the SAT essay. I would rather write a brilliant essay than a methodical one, but such a combination of agreeable prompt, thoughtful writing, and time-management is rare. In any case, the method stressed in the links I offered is readily acquired. There are multiple ways to score well on the SAT essay, and not all of them involve five paragraphs and three examples. Although, I was able to score my 12 on this particular prompt being discussed using an arguably standard form. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>This is expertly put. It is a shame that more methods do not focus on the product rather than the production.</p>

<p>As Wood demonstrated, this site boasts many invaluable members with helpful advice. Good Luck OP!</p>

<p>Re JuniorMint</p>

<p>Thank you for your kind words. I have read some of your other posts and I think it is safe to say you are a good writer and a successful student. I often find those characteristics associated with some other people who, unfortunately, don’t realize that writing a good SAT essay is actually hard. They suffer from what I call the “Princeton Review” attitude, which I came to dislike years ago when some in PR reportedly referred to the SAT as ‘A stupid test, written by stupid people for a stupid reason.’ (see Owen, NONE OF THE ABOVE) Since that time, Princeton Review has gone public and has moderated much of its old rhetoric, but the attitude is still popular and I regard that as unfortunate. I spend so much time on these essays because I am a former teacher and I very much enjoy working with intelligent and motivated students. The cynicism, sarcasm and looking for an easy way out implied in the old PR attitude is counterproductive to what I am trying to accomplish, which is fundamentally to give these kids an appreciation for the necessity of developing a mature intellect. Thank you for helping with that.</p>