Three Simple Rules for Admissions Essays

College Essays
1

<p>After reading a gazillion admissions essays, it appears that so many students don't have a clue. See if your essay or personal statement adheres to these simple rules for an essay:</p>

<p>[ol]
[li] Remember: The prompt or topic is really only a backdrop for the REAL TOPIC: YOU. Remember that the purpose of the essay is for colleges to discover something about you not in the stats.</p>[/li]
<p>[li] Alan Gelb's rule: NEVER COMPLAIN, EXPLAIN, or BRAG. That should be simple enough, but students still try to do one or more of these in an essay (Don't do topics like: "Why my grades were bad in tenth grade"). Sometimes an essay can do all three no-nos at once! :)</p>[/li]
<p>[li] An essay should make the colleges LIKE YOU and WANT YOU as you are now, not in the future (No-Nos: "I am working to overcome my problem..." or "I am really shy but I've worked out ways to live with it...").[/li][/ol]</p>

<p>Just by going by the above three rules, your essay should be much better.</p>

<p>Bonus Rules:
[ul]
[<em>] An essay should show you confronting a situation or event or issue and overcoming it, emerging as a stronger/wiser/more empathetic person. Show/demonstrate how you are stronger/etc.
[</em>] Certain past challenges may have made you a stronger person, but they should be avoided at all costs: drugs, alcohol, criminal activity, meanness/bullying, etc. (Sample No-no: "I once thought marijuana was God's gift to mankind, but I worked to overcome that and I am now drug-free"). Hey, you'd be surprised to see how many people do this.
[/ul]</p>

2

<p>I am still seeing people not understanding the real reason for the admissions essay: To make the colleges LIKE you and WANT you.</p>

3

<p>Thanks for the information!!</p>

4

<p>On #1: The advice I was given was to write your essay first and then decide which topic it fits under, because the topics are so general that most essays can fit under at least one of them (and if not they will go under topic of your choice).</p>

5

<p>I disagree with bonus rule #1:</p>

<p>“An essay should show you confronting a situation or event or issue and overcoming it, emerging as a stronger/wiser/more empathetic person. Show/demonstrate how you are stronger/etc.”</p>

<p>You certainly don’t have to write about “overcoming adversity” or “growth” or anything like that – these types of essays are super-generic anyways. I’d say you can write about ANYTHING as long as you follow rules #1 and 3 in the first part of your post.</p>

6

<p>^Agreed. My essay wasn’t about any sort of change I underwent at all–not even a change in my worldview.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, the “Don’t” tips are very strong.</p>

7

<p>Tips #1,2,3 are very helpful and spot on!</p>

<p>My experience has been that the “bonus rules,” as listed, are not givens. I would add, however, that SUBTEXT is an important consideration. Ask yourself what someone might interpret or guess about you beyond what the words actually say. Think of this the same way that you might analyze a character in literature for an English class. What does your story, your word choice, your subject matter imply about you as a person? Coming across as someone who learns and grows, becomes more empathetic, stronger, or wiser, as digmedia suggests, is great, as long as this message is transmitted by the story you tell. Personal growth can be demonstrated in a million tiny ways; it doesn’t have to be a literal “I struggled with this thing and grew” kind of essay (and in fact, those can be tiresome). Read “The Handyman’s Special” essay (you can google it or find it in the book “50 Successful Harvard Application Essays”). This kid didn’t overcome anything more than a bunch of you-know-what in a toilet. But the subtext here is that this is a person who doesn’t run away from his messes (pardon the pun), is innovative (see how he solves the problem), and grew to appreciate a kind of skill he may have looked down upon in the past. Growth!</p>

<p>Another great lesson from this essay - sharing something embarrassing has a tendency to make you more “likable.”</p>

<p>Good luck to all!</p>

8

<p>Thanks for the info! :slight_smile:
I’m having alot of difficulty choosing my essay topic.
Is it okay to choose a topic that would only reveal, say, a hobby, or just one moment in your life that you felt was special (but did not have a life-changing effect)?</p>

9

<p>In my work with students I approach things with a simple question. what is it that will make you a subset of 1. In other words, what can you write about that no one else will. I am not talking about a topic, as that is quite rare. You can be a subset of one on any topic or you can be generic.
For those who are good writers I always encourage students to take a risk instead of writing a McEssay (a term I coined for the standard 5 paragraph snooze fest) that was included in my article on essays for US News.
For those who are not good writers I give the physicians’ oath: do no harm.
Everything is contextual. For example, someone I am still in contact with after many years, is now doing a blog on women’s issues about her native country of Bangladesh… She has been interested in this issue since she was in high school. If you go to my facebook page you can see her shaking hands with Angelina Jolie at an international conference last week. She complained loudly how women were treated way back when and she still does so today. And she is changing things in her country. As for bragging, I worked this year on interview prep for a student getting ready for Goldman Sachs internship and she had a list of impressive accomplishment. I told her to forget it. You see she had been an Olympic torch bearer for the Beijing Olympics and so she had an easy subset of one. I told her never bury the lead.This single accomplishment will take the whole interview to talk about and it will leave them impressed not only with the honor but the way she she approached the selection process and the drama and the fame that resulted into something that no one else had done. She got the internship and talks about this on my website (actually I have worked with another torch bearer who also knew how to spin it too and will be off to Colombia law school in a month. For a Chinese national that is very very rare.
But if I just discouraged you because you are not headed to London to carry a flag in the opening ceremonies, don’t worry. I have seen sets of 1 essays about high school soccer, sneakers, and a father’s sock drawer. Sometimes the particular is the drama you need to create the world you live in.
I like people who complain but who do it well. I don’t like abstract hectoring lectures but I want people who can put into detail how they plan to change things, from the food in a cafeteria to the way the government treats indigenous people in Panama. I want students who are going to ask tough questions and not be afraid to question authority. It is these students who are the most fun to teach. If they are smart. Whining is different.
A word wields power if it used wisely and well. Or it falls flat to the floor along with your admission chances.
Essays about failure are often good. If they do the job of showing why failure is the best way to learn (lots of good books on this topic).
No template will work for any individual. Our stories and worlds and words are all singular. Or not. If they are then you are, you come into being. You pound the table and say captain my captain or what the hell or is there a god or just neurons. Or. Or and. And maybe but and although. There are too may ways to go to say so.</p>

10

<p>I totally agree with these rules, sans the first bonus rule. 1st bonus rule could be used to write a good essay, but definitely not compulsory.
Reading these rules helped me remember the purpose behind my essays and I am sure I will track back to this post from time to time to get back on track.
Thanks!</p>

11

<p>I get to read the essays, too. I’m with Dig here- but I think he would agree, this is the short version of advice! The tickler. The reason the bonus #1 applies is showing a situation you mastered is a vehicle to show your perspective, resiliance, ability to evolve, energy, good nature, persistence- all things adcoms need to know you have, in order to succeed at their college. All that, plus a lesson learned and now practiced. It’s not meant to be proof you’re special or immensely intellectual or well-travelled. Some humility is important- because your attitude in your writing says a lot about your maturity and judgment. Done with the right touch, they nod their heads, “This kid gets it.” </p>

<p>You can’t accomplish that with the tale about granddad’s war exploits, why you’re a loner, what makes Jane Austen your favorite novelist, how you love to collect dried beans or focuses too intently on inconsequentials. Or a diatribe. Those things work, sometimes, for hs essays. </p>

<p>And, “show, not tell.” That relates to Christina’s comment about not, “I struggled with this thing and grew.” Let them see that, don’t just expect them to take your word for it.</p>

12

<p>I guess I would say that I challenge students with creative non-fiction rather than templates for solid writing. I think it may have to do with who the student is, the world they live in, and come from.
I think it impossible to tell what will work before knowing who the student is first.</p>

13

<p>^ or without seeing their first attempts. Most kids never learn to write a college app level personal statement in hs- they learn formulas, thesis statements, proofs, footnoting, etc. I think we agree that seeing a kid relax, breathe, and write a really nice “personal statement” is rewarding. I do agree with “creative non-fiction.”</p>

14

<p>I think it may be worth discussing whether creative non-fiction is indeed the best approach to the college essay. I think it is not self-evident, although I am clearly in favor of such an approach.</p>

<p>I think Philipe Lopate’s introduction to his The Art of the Personal Essay, might be a good place to start:</p>

<p>“The essay challenges formal analysis by what Walter Pater called its ‘unmethodical method,’ open to digression and promiscuous meanderings.”</p>

<p>My question is whether this is good advice for those writing a college essay.</p>

15

<p>I think that people misinterpret my bonus rule #1. This can be something small, but something that shows you becoming a “better/wiser/stronger” person. It could be something embarrassing that you overcome, or some small fear that you conquer. Here is an example essay showing what I mean:</p>

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</p>

16

<p>But of course bonus rule 1 is not absolutely necessary. What <em>IS</em> important is to show you in a good light without bragging. Here is another short example from my book, to answer the prompt about showing “something about yourself beyond the statistics and information in your application.”

</p>

17

<p>I wrote these essays to illustrate points in the book but before anyone accuses me of making up these stories, I have to emphasize that both of these are true and were strong memories from my past. These strong memories make the best fodder for creating application essays. I can so strongly remember that moment when the cloak dropped to see the “pregnant” actress on stage. And I <em>still</em> have that frog ring. I just got it out again yesterday. That is still a treasure beyond value for me, although it no longer fits. I think I’ll get it resized once more.</p>

<p>One complaint might be that the essay reader might have to know something about Ibsen’s play to understand what is going on. But any admissions reader at a LAC would probably be familiar with it. Also, I don’t think you absolutely have to know the play to “get” what’s going on for the writer.</p>

18

<p>First off, your essays are beautifully crafted and fulfill everything most of think a good essay should be. It has a narrative that flows, a voice, and conveys a message by showing not telling.
In that sense it is a perfect example to give to people.</p>

<p>But I will take issue with your assumption about what readers at LACs know.
I frankly don’t believe it.
As the article in the most recent Atlantic Magazine from a Harvard grad demonstrates, it is possible to go through the most prestigious school in the US without reading anything ED Hirsch would file under cultural literacy.
It is possible, to put it bluntly, for an English major to go through 4 years with reading perhaps only one (and in some cases none) of Shakespeare’s plays.
Ibsen is a stretch it seems to me. Maybe Green Day for social commentary or perhaps Jersey Shore for anthropological treasures. But Ibsen is long dead and largely forgotten these days. Not for a theatre major but a liberal arts major will not have had to go near that particular dead white male And that goes for almost all the great books. That died in all but a few places a while ago.
Again, I am not the bearer of this news, it is the professors themselves who have been saying this for quite some time. Lionel Trilling, In the Moral Obligation To Be Intelligent, sounded the death knell a generation before these kids were even born. So too Dwight MacDonald. The list of current diatribes against, what an Emory professor calls The Dumbest Generation, is persuasive. </p>

<p>I don’t agree about the dumb part though. They are educated in ways those of us used to traditional education can barely dream of. As Adbusters so eloquently put it in a note to teachers, the average student is exposed to over 3500 ads a day. They are PhDs in advertising by the time they are 5.</p>

<p>On the other hand, I have met students in China who have read Ulysses, or Italo Calvino, and most surprising to me, E.M. Cioran, all heroes to me, but hardly household names. In classes I know students are reading Bolano’s epic 2066, or reading one of the great novels in American history, Infinite Jest. But Ibsen. Not likely. I do not mean this as a critique just an observation.</p>

<p>I will end this with something Douglas Day, a national book award winner and a phenomenal teacher once shared. “It is getting to the point that I feel I have to provide a footnote to everything I refer to. ‘Jesus, once thought to be the Savior, thought to have lived in and around Jerusalem, which is a city in the Middle East.’” Of course he was being ironic, but with students coming in from all over the world, and with an academic free for all in college, I cannot be sure just what any student has read.</p>

19

<p>Yes, your writing is highly talented, lovely. But, the personal statement isn’t supposed to have literary merit. In fact, sometimes, considering the writer is supposed to be a hs kid, with limited skills, limited years of honing, the reader can be diverted by wondering: is this an unsually gifted kid- or lots of help from an adult with years of experience perfecting his own writing? I’d also point out that it takes to para 3 to find the “I” in the first essay example. There’s a bit in P 4, then it only picks up again in the second to last. </p>

<p>I read for an Ivy, as well as coach a few bright kids. What has to come through is that this is a kid who will fit and thrive at that college- you really don’t want an “A” piece of work at the expense of the kid himself showing through. In that respect, let’s get back to “creative non-fiction.”</p>

<p>No hs kid has really got the skills and experiences to perfectly report circumstances, events or actions. I don’t care if he perfectly sets a scene or accurately reports each detail. Nor whether he “creatively” selects the details, in order to facilitate his point.</p>

<p>I care about his judgment in choosing a suitable topic, developing it appropriately for a “personal statement” and the perspective he shows- all are markers of maturity and grounding. I care that he neither gets side-tracked (again, shows judgment- and the ability to self-edit) nor is self-consciously showing off his writing craft, but seems genuinely engaged in both the story he tells and the lesson he learned- that he is the focus. And, as a coda, that he can point to the subsequent tangible changes in himself and his actions toward others. All with “show, not tell.”</p>

<p>Sorry if I am being presumptuous saying these things. I probably sound like a monster reader. I agree the context doesn’t have to be earth-shattering- some nice tale about nerves or an unexpected responsibility or being surprised at how he managed a challenge, or how some advice got him thinking.</p>

<p>Btw, at top schools, adcoms ar among the savviest people I know. Highly educated, very well aware of what a kid can do and where he fails. There is a lot of forgiving, along with the hgh standards. Again, sorry if I intruded.</p>

20

<p>lookingforward -</p>

<p>I think what you said was exactly right. When my own son showed me his admissions essay, it did not adhere to any “formula,” nor did it follow any “rules.” Any essay coach could have taken it apart with criticism. BUT, it was such an insight into who he was that I gave it back to him and said, “Don’t change a thing!”</p>

<p>The essays above are written by me (as an adult) to illustrate points , and I, too, would be highly suspicious if one of these crossed my desk. You are NOT being presumptuous at all. My goal is to provide some techniques (for those who feel lost in starting essays) to achieve the following:</p>

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