For current juniors and so forth we have to write 4 essays out of a choice of 8 prompts, each 350 words or less. Here’s a link that shows all the prompts: http://admission.universityofcalifornia.edu/how-to-apply/personal-questions/freshman/index.html
I’ve already finished the rough draft of my first essay but I’m not sure if it’s too casual and not enough “prestigious” words in there to showcase a college level writing style… I’ve tried to look up more information and what the admissions committee wants from these essays or examples but with no luck. Anyone have any tips and can someone give any feedback on my essay?
I am a faculty member at a UC school, where I teach classes in several disciplines.
Please believe me when I tell you that we are sick unto death of students who attempt to cram every four- and five- syllable word that they have ever encountered into their essays, simply in order to appear more intellectual. We call it “AP syndrome” sometimes. There are times when a four or five syllable word is absolutely the correct one to use, but not nearly as frequently as there are times when three long words could (and should) be replaced with one short one.
Your essay is not a vocabulary test. We are looking for clear organization, some variety of paragraph length, some variety in sentence length (short, punchy declarative sentences for description, for instance, or longer, multi-clause ones for abstract concepts), grammatical control, and an actual point bolstered by evidence (like an experience you had, and the lesson it taught you, though that’s frankly a little trite). Some complexity of characterization (maybe the lesson wasn’t what you thought it was going to be, or the price was too high, or surprisingly low) is nice, and if you want to drop in a comparison to a text, you can, but don’t force it.
But it’s much more important that the words be correct, and yours, than that they be simply long. Before you use a word in an essay, ask yourself: is this a word that you would ever actually use in conversation? Are you 1000% certain that you know it’s meaning, and connotations? If not, don’t use it.
i think it’s good that you don’t have “prestigious” words because you won’t come across as pretentious. casual is good if you’re being honest about yourself. just use your voice. of course, make sure you have correct grammar if you’re being casual. sometimes we speak casually and truthfully but are using incorrect grammar (although it may not sound as if we are). best to ask an english professor. look our for incomplete clauses, stuff like that. correct verb/noun agreement. right now i just had horrible grammar in everything i just wrote, but it’s how i casually write. but overall, a casual tone is good if that is your true voice.
they’re not looking for college level writing. that’s what your SAT/ACT scores are for. if you’re good on those, then they already know that you’re capable of writing at a very basic college leve/ready to begin college level writing classes. no need to “prestigi-fy” your personal question responses. just be yourself. college level writing doesn’t mean have a bunch of fancy words. it means using evidence to back up your claims and having sound arguments. so more than anything you have to give examples of whatever it is you write about. don’t just list vague platitudes.
and i know you probably already know this but be respectful and don’t use text speak or slang lol.
thank you for sharing the new UC essay questions btw. i had no idea that they took away the long essays.