<p>Sloparent,
Unfortunately some people cannot keep their opinions to themselves. Some are well meaning and some I suspect, have an agenda. When my daughter chose to go to school in NYC there were people second guessing all over the place. I was amazed at how many local parents (who had no problem sending their kids to Penn in West Philadelphia) had to suggest that the safety factor would have made them discourage their children from applying to Columbia or NYU. They had obviously done no research....yet they still had to comment. I was especially disappointed in a couple of the parents of my D's classmates who had so recently been through the college process themselves. To question another child's decision after the fact or to suggest to a parent that they should not "allow" a child to attend a particular school seemed the height of rudeness to me. </p>
<p>My daughter wanted the challenge of life in NYC. She hasn't regretted her choice for a minute. I hope it works out equally well for your daughter. Best wishes to her.</p>
<p>Whatever is behind your friends responses, it all seem to validate why colleges see the need to hurry in their efforts to diversify; regionally culturally ethnically and religiously. Getting familiar with difference greatly improves tolerance and hopefully fears.</p>
<p>( If you and D are comfortable that's all that matters)</p>
<p>Whatever is behind your friends responses, it all seem to validate why colleges see the need to hurry in their efforts to diversify; regionally culturally ethnically and religiously. Getting familiar with difference greatly improves tolerance and hopefully fears.</p>
<p>( If you and D are comfortable that's all that matters)</p>
<p>Well...if it's any consolation, we are getting the same reaction plus when our daughter tells folks where she is going. We live on the East coast. She is going to Santa Clara University. Instead of saying "congratulations", they say things like "gee, you're brave to be sending her so far away"...or..."where is that?"....or (my personal favorite) "oh, I would never send a child to school near Los Angeles". We have to do a lot of explaining. No one here has ever heard of Santa Clara University. No one from DD's high school has ever gone there. So...you're not alone. We just smile and deluge them with statistics about the school and its location!!!</p>
<p>sloparent,
My guess is people are either jealous, feeling threatened by her independence, or they are ignoramuses who have never been to NYC - which I personally think is the greatest city in the world.</p>
<p>Your daughter will love it - and isn't that really all that matters???</p>
<p>I agree with the poster who said that it may be because so many in California stay in California that they are surprised when they hear she is going to NY. Don't take it too harshly - probably half of them thought about their reaction later and wished they had said something more supportive. Sometimes our first responses aren't the most intelligentor well thought out and if they are good friends I am sure they wish her well.
Good luck and I am sure she will have a great time experiencing life on the other side of the country. What a great opportunity!</p>
<p>You've tapped into the responder's fears and anxieties - and it doesn't have to be NYU, it could just be a brand of cracker they've never tried. Imagine this: if you answered with the name of a school more familiar in your area, you'd get a response like "oh, my niece Katie went there and had SUCH a great time!" and you might recall the story of Katie being whisked to the ER with acute alcohol posioning, but being well brought up you keep that to yourself.</p>
<p>You've given them an answer that they cannot relate to in any way, so they respond at a gut level - with shock. But consider this. The NEXT student from your area to go to NYU will be met with "oh, that's where -insert name of your d. here- went, and she just loved it." You've enlarged their world.</p>
<p>The funny thing about these "bravery" comments is that a child faces risks whether the college is in the big city or a small town, whether the campus is 30 miles away or 3000. It's naive for people not to acknowledge that. And, of course, despite these risks, most students end up just fine (even if they do things that would turn our hair instantly grey if we had a hidden camera following them around).</p>
<p>I can certainly sympathize with the OP, as we live on a farm in a small town in LA, and are about to send our oldest to Columbia. Many of our friends have never heard of Columbia, many think it is in South Carolina, and no one has any idea that Harvard is not the only school in the Ivy League. And then when they find out it is New York, the reaction is too often "how could you?" Do I do it without apprehension? Of course not, but everytime we visit New York and look at the unbelievable list of offerings of things to do, see, and eat available each day, I am so thankful that she will have this opportunity. She can always go back to the farm, but at least she will be making an educated choice!</p>
<p>Well, I have tried NYC. Yet when my own daughter expressed an interest in the city, I was quite fearful (Im well over it now). When my son also expressed an interest, I was very much open to it. I dont think I am sexist. But I cant deny that I had a problem with a girl being newly arrived in NYC all by herself, and that I did not have this problem with the idea of my son doing the same thing!</p>
<p>I wonder how the critics would have responded had they been informed that a young male was going to NYU. Things may have been a little different.</p>
<p>sloparent, I have a D who will be a senior at NYU in September and I remember getting the same reaction from a few people way back when she was accepted. With most, it was simply the fact that they didn't really know much about NYU and I used the opportunity to enlighten them! :) I explained that NYU is a great school, with selective admissions (especially in the program to which she was admitted), that it was one of the top programs for her passion, that the opportunities were fabulous both academically and artistically, that it's a wonderful city, and that I wished I could go with her! </p>
<p>Of course, there were a few who were ignorant enough to think that the city was very dangerous and that we were crazy. Those were ALL individuals who had never been to NYC so I told them they should take a trip there, that they didn't know what they were missing! </p>
<p>NYU has been a wonderful spot for my D. She adores the city and all that it has to offer. She'd be absolutely bored in a small town, traditional college campus, and more than that, she wouldn't have had any of the opportunities she has gained from being right in the theatre capital of North America. She is double majoring and has had excellent profs in both disciplines. Don't let people tell you otherwise, because it's hooey.</p>
<p>Congratulations to her, and to you! You'll get the benefit of having a wonderful city to visit when you go to see her!</p>
<p>Congratulations to your D and to you! D#1 just graduated from NYU (applied ED just after 9-11)! You should have heard the comments then!! D#2 is halfway across the country now. Most-heard comment: "My D/S didn't want to be so far from home". My best advice is to get a good cell phone plan w/picture mail. Both Ds call me whenever they are walking... I talk to them more now than when they were in HS & when she sees movie stars in Chelsea, she'll want to share!</p>
<p>sloparent,
People are reacting out of their own fears, ignorance and possibly even prejudice. Do NOT let these people ruin this wonderful time in your lives. </p>
<p>Be proud of your daughter's spirit and ability to know what's right for her. New York is an amazing place. I was born and raised there and I still spend every moment I can in the city. My kids love being there. I marvel at how much safer it has become. </p>
<p>Your daughter's life will only be enriched by her choice. Congratulations to all of you!</p>
<p>I would just like to say that the naysayers may not be fearful/scared/unsophisticated, but like me, would be unhappy in a large city (any large city for me) and just wonder what makes NYU a draw. I do understand that the theatre program there is unique and NYC would be an exciting place to live but I find cities generally smelly and loud, fun to visit, but I wouldn't choose to live there. I would also not choose to live in California and would probably ask a parent from my area why their child chose to go to a school out there. </p>
<p>I'm glad that everyone likes different things - that's what makes life interesting but asking someone, "Why did your child choose to go to .....?" doesn't neccessarily mean that the questioner thinks it's a bad choice, but that they genuinely wonder what made that particular school the right choice.</p>
<p>My daughter goes to a tiny college in the midwest. Of the people that I tell where she's going, 99% have never heard of it and wonder why in the world she's going there. So, I enlighten them.</p>
<p>sloparent, for one thing I believe stereotypes about places are hard to shake. NYC was pretty bad a generation ago when these parents were college age (Central Park=mugging=murder), and since you're in CA most haven't visited, lately or ever, that's what they remember. </p>
<p>I also wonder if they can't understand how someone can give up that warm sunny CA weather for slush and snow and grey winter days.</p>
<p>We're only a couple hours from NYC but my son has lived and worked there for a year. We love to go up, but invariably when people my age hear this they answer "and I bet you're glad to leave...too many people for me, blahblah". NO I'm NOT happy to leave... to return to the boring suburbs??</p>
<p>I commend your daughter, there's no other place like New York.</p>
<p>I have an office in DC and in New York. I feel much safer in New York. I even run at Central Park at night - 6 miles around the perimeter. (I am a guy - and kind of on the fast side - a former serious runner - so don't run off and do this yourself unless you feel comfortable doing it). Giuliani absolutely saved New York City. How anyone, even those that don't like him, can fail to recognize his accomplishments is beyond me. When I first worked in NYC over 20 years ago - it was a wreck - dangerous - with an ugly feel - 1 of 7 (yes, this is so) adults on welfare - just not a place to be. In any event, the danger factor at NYU is now overblown - I would worry a lot more about sending my kid to Catholic University in DC from a safety standpoint than NYU. </p>
<p>I think some of the reaction to NYU comes from the fact that some of the students there are majoring in theatre and the arts. And while those are fine disciplines to study, career prospects are typically extremely limited. Unless one is very well off, it makes little sense to me to spend NYU private school tuition on theatre and the arts. This of course is a curmudgeonly view, and maybe my views would change if I had kids inclined towards these interests. But I do have friends with kids in the same situation, and don't quite get why chasing the theatre or arts dream can't be equally well done at a Rutgers, or UCLA or other state school with a good program. Being kind of a crusty sort, my spouse recently had to drag me to a Shakespeare festival - which against all odds I enjoyed. The actors were great - and I noticed in their bios most came from public schools (including their MFA's), and just appeared to take roles wherever they could. Just a thought.</p>
<p>Thanks for this wonderful discussion. Your comments have buoyed my spirits. I do think it's a combination of factors that are actually quite complex, as you have all pointed out here.</p>
<p>It's nice to hear that your students and family members have had good experiences at NYU. I must say, I thought my daughter would vote for the more traditional college experience at Berkeley. But I also think, like many other seniors, perhaps, that she wants to get started with real life--and NYU will provide her the oppportunity to do that, maybe more so than a traditional college environment.</p>
<p>Her goal is to work in politics, and the lure of NYC was very attractive--it's certainly a political hotbed, and it's close to D.C., as well.</p>
<p>We've talked about it, and she understands the challenge of living in the city and is ready for it. So, here we go!</p>