<p>Everyone always says college rushes by; it does, I'm two years in and completely lost. I've flirted with becoming a physician and going to med school for all of college now. I became highly motivated when I was exposed to the idea in the beginning of my freshman year. Randomly attending a pre-med meeting was exceptionally enlightening, and I felt an incredible surge of excitement when I found medicine as a occupational path. But that initial excitement has continually wavered ever since. </p>
<p>Before I go on, I'm a psychology major and absolutely love the subject. I've flirted with the idea of becoming a counseling psychologist (Ph.D.). But I seem to go back to medicine ever time.</p>
<p>In my second semester of the first year, I took Gen Chem 1. The first four weeks were easy, all high school, basic chemistry. But then I began to get very anxious as the class got harder and harder. My nerves have been the absolute hardest antagonist to my success in school. I got a C on my first test and panicked. "****, I can't do this." I felt stupid, and it directly contrasted my 4.0 GPA from my first semester. I withdrew and got a big, fat, W on my transcript. The "W" doesn't count towards my GPA but it's marred my idea of success.</p>
<p>That same semester I took Biology 1. I didn't know how to study for it, and unlike my psychology classes where I could just write notecards to learn terms, I needed to really digest the information. Good notes and better lab preparation would've helped. I ended up taking the class for the semester and finished with a C.</p>
<p>All of a sudden, I was lost. I thought, "The 'hard' sciences just aren't for me." I gave up. I compromised by saying, I'll still have a very clinical position as a counseling psychologist, working to better a patient's well-being (albeit psychologically). </p>
<p>I just finished my sophomore year in May, and this summer I began to contemplate the idea of pursuing med school again. I'm afraid; I always relate better to a verbal discussion with a human, than an organ. Chemistry, Physics, etc. all test my natural motivational factors. </p>
<p>I've changed my schedule back and forth... Oh, about 20 times this summer... To be psychology orientated or pre-med. </p>
<p>I'd love to hear if anyone has any thoughts, guidance, advice in this wavering time. What do you go back to stay motivated? When you're kicking yourself in the head, saying, "I can't do this," what do you personally do?</p>
<p>Thank you so much,
HopingFor</p>
<p>P.S. I'm currently registered to retake Chem I. And my plan, with MCAT timing, puts me at 4.5 years... A non-issue if I can really set my mind to medicine.</p>