To Parents From HS Senior

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi, </p>

<p>I am hs senior and I have decided to post this thread out of frustration. I just wanted to talk about parents. </p>

<p>For one, never tell your child they CAN'T do something. That is the worst thing EVER. Yes, it is reasonable if it is in regards to financial matter, and all avenues for aid have been exhausted. Still, the word CAN'T simply discourages. For instance, my mom keeps telling me that I will NEVER do well on the SAT, that I just CAN'T. I have rationally, calmly explained to her that people do increase their score, and she has insisted that I will not be one of those people. </p>

<p>Secondly, remind them that you love them. And, that you want whats best for them. Also, that it is their decision, and you will support it. You can put in your input, but don't stress them out. </p>

<p>Lastly, let them go. Their growing up, and they need to experience responsibility and independence. Let them fall, but be there to help pick them up. I have learned from my mistakes. I wish my parents would have been there to pick me up. </p>

<p>In the end, try to remember what it was like when you were a kid. If you can't, then understand that your parenting reflects in who they are. Not completely, and you shouldn't blame yourself if a child is overwhelmingly swayed by external influences. But you are the most important role model in their lives. Remember that. </p>

<p>Although I have not had a parent that I fully connect with, or even one who can give me counsel. I believe it has made me grow up, and become a better person. Even though i am just 18, in this transitional stage of life, I feel well prepared for whatever happens. I just wish I had a parent who knew how to communicate. </p>

<p>Thanks for taking the time to listen to my rant. If your a parent, I hope you learned or remembered something that is vital in the development of your child. If your a son or daughter I hope you understand how important your parents truly are. </p>

<p>Best.</p>

2

<p>Nicely written. It sounds like you have handled some difficult things on your own, and you sound like it has helped mature you. Maybe as you and your parents get older, you may be able to understand some of the reasons why things happened as they did. The best thing you can do is continue to appreciate the reasons why it has made you a better person, and try not to harbor resentment....life is WAY too short for that. Good luck to you.</p>

3

<p>From a parent to a high school senior:</p>

<p>I agree with you completely. One way or another, you have learned a lot, and your parents should be proud of you. I would guess that they are.</p>

<p>Do you always live up to your ideals and aspirations for yourself? Neither do I. Neither, probably, do your parents. So have patience and sympathy when they don't act the way you -- and probably they -- think they should.</p>

<p>Also, can we correct spelling? You are a very good writer, thoughtful and logical. You should expect to earn people's respect for what you write. But it will be easier for people to respect you and your writing if you don't misspell common contractions: they're, not their; you're, not your. It's not that hard to understand what you meant, but you don't want to call attention to your immaturity when you are writing something that demonstrates the opposite.</p>

4

<p>colegePLEASE, you're right.</p>

5

<p>colegePLEASE -- </p>

<p>Thanks for the reminders. Maybe your mom, when she discourages you from trying to improve your test results, is in her way, trying to keep you from being disappointed? It sounds like she loves you but is afraid of letting you go. Afraid to allow you to take risks. It's hard for moms when their babies grow up! </p>

<p>But yes, you CAN do better on the SAT. Go for it! And yes, you have to grow up and become independent, even if mom is having a hard time with that. Good luck to you!</p>

6

<p>Just to reiterate: </p>

<p>NEVER TELL YOUR CHILD THAT HE/SHE CAN'T DO IT. IT HURTS LIKE HELL.</p>

7

<p>You will understand in time that parents are people too - flawed. That sounds patronizing...sorry.</p>

<p>Keep moving forward and working hard. Prove to yourself that you can achieve what you wish - your strength is internal. Take care and good luck.</p>

8

<p>Thanks to all for these encouraging and respectful responses. </p>

<p>And, JHS, haha i feel like i need to go back to English 1. But thanks for pointing that out, cause i didn't notice it in my writing.</p>

9

<p>Collegeplease, I urge you to share some of this with your parents. I have a feeling that your mom is reacting in a typically anxious and protective way and it's coming across to you as a lack of confidence in you. She may be surprised to read how you feel; in her mind she may only be trying to protect you from hurt. You've written this so clearly and calmly that you may be able to start a healing conversation with her.</p>