When it comes to my college life, by definition, I’m thriving. I just finished my freshman year at one of my state’s best colleges with a 4.0. I’m pretty confident in my major too and seem to be heading in a good, secure direction. But I’m just not happy with my college life. In fact, the whole “College Lifestyle” thing gets on my nerves, because I’m just not feeling it…at all.
I found myself going home almost every weekend, and dreading the weekends I was stuck at my dorm. I think I spent the majority of my days praying that they would go by fast and trying to find ways to kill time until I could go home again. Then over weekends and breaks when I was home, I was totally happy - apart from the fact that I would remember, “this is temporary; you have to go back to that place.” Sure, this homesickness is normal for some the first few weeks of anybody’s college experience - even months for some - but this didn’t change for me ever. I had happy moments at college, sure, but leaving in May was still the happiest feeling in the world.
A lot of my friends from high school went to other colleges. I still keep up with them, but I’m not wanting to go to their colleges either. I’ve got friends at my university, though to be honest these are practically my secondary friends. When I’m home over the breaks, I hang out and keep in touch with a lot of people - but only a couple from my current university. In fact, I try to block that university world out when I’m not there.
I’m an introvert. I’m not expecting - or wanting - to be in the limelight. I don’t need a giant social life to be happy. My university is a party school, and maybe that’s where I feel part of the disconnect. I couldn’t care less about sororities, fraternities, football, partying, the general SEC school life…it’s not my style. In fact, from taking summer classes, the commuter life seems to be my style - but there’s nowhere “as good or better” I can commute to from my house. And besides, party school or not, my school has a strong academic side and I don’t want to jeopardize that.
Others would be so confused if I said “I’m switching schools” when I go to one of the really good ones and my grades are amazing. It would look like I failed, but I was actually doing just fine, and not many would understand that. I don’t mind going to other schools, but I guess I’m just dreading other people’s reactions? There’s one or two “better” schools I could switch to without question and probably get into, though I’d have to rethink my major for them or find some equivalent. They wouldn’t be as big of a party school so I may click with more people, though I’m not sure if it’s just that culture or the dorm life in general that I struggle with. I could switch to any other school and get to commute, but again, social pressure makes it difficult and I’m not sure if it would be smartest to give up some of the better opportunities from my big school.
So I guess it’s a matter of keeping my current opportunities and security, trying something new and possibly loving or regretting it, or switching to an environment I know I’d like but disappoint a lot of people and take away a lot of opportunities…and having to rethink my major. That’s a big one.
Any advice on how to think this through? Thanks in advance 