This isn’t really a long story. I’m a nineteen year old girl just finishing my freshman year up this week and then I’m starting my summer semester in two weeks. I’m not very happy where I am. I don’t feel any school pride or attachment to my school. Everyone around me seems to be happy with choosing this school and having the time of their lives here, but I’m just not. The problem is, it’s one of the best schools in the world for my major. I feel like I can’t just leave. I managed to get into this school, and the opportunities that this degree is going to offer me makes me feel like I’d be ungrateful and crazy to transfer. Does it makes sense to leave? The other thing is that right now, my girlfriend is only a 2 hour train ride away so we usually spend every two or three weekends together. But she’s having the same problem and is considering a college almost 8 hours away so I really have no attachment. Any advise would be much appreciated.
Where do you want to be with your life in 5 years and what’s the best way for you to get there?
I would probably advise, in light of the major, that you stay put and work on finding ways to enjoy your time there more. Often, the rah rah frenetic excitement of freshman year that makes it seem like everyone is happier than you cools a bit.
You just need a handful of like minded friends who want to do stuff with you. Spending every 2nd or 3rd weekend off campus probably didn’t help but it also shows you how you can be happy without doing what everyone else is. Can you identify what it is you would like to change and how it would make you happier?
You may also want to try to finish early.
“Everyone around me seems to … having the time of their lives here”
Impressions are not always reality. In truth there will be quite a few students who appear happy, but there are always also many students who are just sort of getting through the day and getting their work done. At least for me and many other students, life gets better after graduation.
“it’s one of the best schools in the world for my major”
This is a big plus. However, “one of the best in the world” usually means “academically very challenging”. Also, “academically very challenging” usually means “students work very hard and many get sort of burned out a bit over time”.
This is a hard decision. I have said many times that if you attend a highly ranked university, “you have to want to do it”. Attending one of the best schools in the world for your major is a tough grind. However, it also provides you with opportunities, one of which is just knowing that you can do it.
I think that we could provide better advice if we knew which school you are attending, which school you might or might not transfer to, and what you major is.
In general I would not advise transferring to be near your girlfriend.