To Those Getting Ready To Head Off

College Majors Music Major
1

<p>To those students (and parents of) getting packed and ready, my congrats and best wishes for success. </p>

<p>You are where you will be because of your talent, dedication, and hard work, and in most cases with very supportive parents.</p>

<p>Make the most of what you have been given. Explore every opportunity, but don't overextend yourself. You will find the opportunity for many diversions. Partake, but don't get sidetracked.</p>

<p>Use every resource available to improve. Take advantage of superior peers, and learn from them. Network. Join clubs, organizations specific to your interests. The music world is small, and contacts, friendships you make now will serve you well for many years, both professionally and personally.</p>

<p>For those returning and doing grad work, continued success.</p>

<p>Good luck to all.</p>

2

<p>What a lovely post, violadad.
Indeed, best of luck to all ... and you always have a place you can come to with questions, etc.
Safe travels!</p>

3

<p>Thanks so much Violadad. Son is packing up and we are taking him next week, complete with musical equipment well beyond the two instruments he already plays! Hard to believe that we are at this juncture, which is both exciting and bittersweet!</p>

<p>My deep thanks to all the veteran parents here for your fabulous advice and counsel over the last two years. I was such a novice to this process when I found this board, and don't know that we would have had such a successful outcome without the great advice I received. </p>

<p>Here's to all our kids, with hopes that the joy they find in making music will be justly rewarded!</p>

4

<p>Good luck to everyone--I can't believe a year has gone by since S1 went, and now we begin the process for S2! Thank those of you sending off your kids for all the great footsteps in which to follow.</p>

<p>Everyone, enjoy the last few weeks with your fabulous freshmen and women! I hope people will check in and tell us how the kids (and parents) are settling in.</p>

5

<p>Great post, Violadad. First, I thought of myself in line with you, ready to offer advice and encouragement to those sending their kids off -- then I realized that I'm sending both my music kids off in the next couple of weeks!</p>

<p>I'd like to add a couple bits of more "negative" advice to your very positive and encouraging post.</p>

<p>The first is to echo your comment to "don't overextend yourself". Every year this happens to one or another of my kids' friends. One year, a student joined every chamber group or small ensemble she could find. She added in a several jobs, convinced she needed the money. Her teacher asked her to quit some things, and she wouldn't, so the teacher dropped her. We all saw it as a trainwreck waiting to happen, but she was just convinced she could (or had to) do it all. Set a limit ahead of time, so you can say no when you need to.</p>

<p>My second bit of "negative advice" is to "lose the attitude." Not that you necessarily have one, of course. But for almost every musician going off to college, you are leaving a situation where you have always been the big fish in a small pond, and chances are good that is about to change. Go off prepared to compliment as much as be complimented. Buffer the "competition" aspects with the "community" aspects. Make friends within your studio. Find someone to play duets with, just for the fun of it. Really listen at Masterclasses, even if you aren't playing. Attend your classmates' recitals. Be quick to find strengths in others, slow to criticize. </p>

<p>People notice the kids who look bored or distracted or irritated when they aren't in the spotlight, and it doesn't endear them to anyone. They also notice the ones who feel good to be around.</p>

<p>Musicians need friends. They need people who are nice to work with and to be with. And some of these musicians may someday be in a position to help you out. You don't want to be crossed off the list as soon as the screen comes down because everyone remembers you as a jerk with an ego.</p>

<p>Think about your goals before you get there. In the heat of the moment, it will help to remember why you're putting up with the hassle, the grief, the stress. If you see it as all pointing you to your goals, then it becomes an acceptable and expected part of the process. It will also help you make wise choices.</p>

6

<p>And hearty best wishes from here too. Your musical journey may take you down different roads than you anticipate. But this is a time for growing and learning and making friends. </p>

<p>My only "free advice" is to work in a collegial manner with your fellow musicians. Life is too short for cut throat or highly competitive "attitude". Remember, almost everyone you meet was the first chair in their ensembles. Be humble...I personally think this is a good way to forge friendships.</p>

<p>But most of all...have fun with your music.</p>

7

<p>A few other things I would add to violadad's excellent advice:</p>

<p>Always remember what drew you to music in the first place. Sometimes all the practice and studying can become a real grind. If and when that happens, go play or sing something just for the fun of it or take some time to do something non-musical just for yourself.</p>

<p>Get enough sleep.</p>

<p>If practicing or performing becomes painful, listen to your body and stop. Do not try to play or sing through sickness or pain for the sake of an event. Talk to your teacher about it, because there is a lot at stake at this point in your career.</p>

<p>Get out of the practice room every now and then and have a life outside of music. Given the time demands on a music major, this is not easy but it is highly important. At is root, music is simply one way of communicating ideas and emotions. You can have the best technique in the world, but you need to have some original ideas and a mature emotional foundation for expressing them if you want your music to be something more than a technical exercise.</p>

8

<p>As new posts show up, I keep cutting and pasting and sending them to my son. Thanks to all of you for great advice over all these months.</p>

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<p>Great stuff. I cant say that I have anything much to add, except that you should go to as many recitals in your instrument(especially voice) that you can. Attend the recitals upperclassmen and grad students. Chat them up afterwards, seek advice (whether you think you need it or not). DD discovered she learned more from other students than she thought was possible. Advice on everything from teachers to YAPS to the best and cheapest head shots, interesting new repetoire, how the opera is cast,etc etc. When these students graduated, she was recommended by them for things like private tutoring and church gigs that they were leaving. For the most part, the older students are flattered and more than willing to help an undergrad. Oh ya...ditto on the sleep. Get as much as you can. You are going to need it.</p>

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<p>Great information from all. These are going up on our refrigerator tonight!
Thanks.</p>

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<p>Thanks for all the advice and the good wishes. My D will be all moved in one week from today. We both have such mixed emotions. She is thrilled that she found out she got into the voice studio she wanted - she's been emailing accompanists to line that up, so things are falling into place. I am still trying to wrap myself the fact that boys and girls share the hall bathroom in the dorm!</p>

12

<p>Great advice. Thanks, Violadad, for starting this terrific thread. As we have been focused on what to pack or whether or not our kids have started packing, it is important to look back on what our musical kids are really off to do. They also need to remember what got them this far </p>

<p>It is so true that the psychological adjustment of going from being the big fish (sometimes the only big fish) in a small pond to being just middle of the pack in a top notch school can be the biggest obstacle freshmen face. Anything that can give them perspective on the moment will be helpful.</p>

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<p>A wonderful thread to share with our Sons and Daughters. Thank you. If I may add one thing... be careful with your belongings, especially that new laptop that may be loaded with music software. You may wish to consider this as a last minute purchase..Computrace</a> LoJack for Laptops
A friend of mine's Son found it very helpful when his laptop was recovered last year.
Best
JD</p>

14

<p>A piece of advice I gave my S was to establish immediately a regular practice routine. It will be big change to switch from leaving his instruments around the house on stands and picking up one whenever he felt like it to practice (which was all the time) to having to plan practicing and taking everything you need with you.</p>

15

<p>On a practical (and not particularly pleasant) note...remind your musicians NOT to leave anything unattended in any practice room at any time. But related...make friends with the folks IN the practice rooms. Many music kids do their preliminary "socializing" in the practice room corriders.</p>