A big THANK YOU!

College Majors Music Major
1

<p>What a relief. I have two children who are musicians. I am very happy with both of their choices for their schooling - and so are they. (One is a freshman this year and one will be a freshman next year.) The past two years have been a whirlwind - a lot of good and a relatively small part not so good. </p>

<p>I have learned so much from everyone here. Who knows if we would not have made the same decisions about their schooling if I had not found this bulletin board, but I am sure that I would not have felt so comfortable making the decisions. Thank you to everyone who so selflessly shares their knowledge and experiences. </p>

<p>I am happy to pay it forward any way I can.</p>

2

<p>Same here. Thanks to so many who took the time to post helpful information and encouragement. It definitely made the process less mysterious (lonely? scary?) having other musicians and musician families along for the journey. Hopefully as my musician son starts his college experience this fall, our family will be able to pay it forward as well.</p>

3

<p>I agree! Don’t know what I would have done without these boards. Hey, mom2winds, are you going to the June 8-9 hartford orientation?</p>

4

<p>Electricbassmom, I sent you a PM. :)</p>

5

<p>Let me add a big thank you to BassDad for his continuing efforts with the master lists of acceptances and final decisions. That’s a real service to the community!</p>

6

<p>I also want to acknowledge the incredibly supportive people on this board, particularly Jazzshreddarmom, for helping me and answering all of my questions. Thank you also to Bass Dad and other senior members for being great leaders on this valuable board!</p>

7

<p>Aw, shucks. My pleasure, ladies.</p>

8

<p>Wish I had found this board a year ago when our son announced his determination to apply to conservatories. This whole music-thing has been like a journey to a foreign land for me. Now I just need support as I face the reality that our son is going to music school and not to some small liberal arts school. I told my in-laws about his decision about where to go and they have not responded. I don’t think my FIL is too happy with this. Maybe if our son had decided to go to a school like Oberlin or NYU he would have less trouble because then he could pretend that our son was NOT going to be a musician.</p>

<p>Interestingly when our son was trying to decide where to go he said that he was frustrated that all the musicians he knew told him nobody should major in performance because there is no money in it. However our son said that was all he wanted to do. When I told his teacher this, his teacher said that was great that he said that because it is that sort of drive and passion that it takes to major in performance and make it.</p>

<p>I feel like I am entering a foreign land with this child and his music. But it is OK because I have confidence that what ever happens our son will find a way to make it all work. He loves to teach so even if he doesn’t end up in the most lucrative of positions or as a famous performer he can always make a living teaching music. I just wish my FIL could see that and not be so negative about the whole thing. He helped my other two children with college and is not giving this child a cent. grrrrrrr…</p>

9

<p>StacJip, I am so sorry about your FIL’s attitude about your son studying music. Your child is lucky to have you to support his dream and protect him from grandfather. </p>

<p>My son and I have heard from people including professional musicians that my son should double major or better study something useful. Truthfully, my son does not have any choice since he cannot think of anything else he wants to do besides music. He looked into joint programs and double majors but decided they weren’t for him. He feels he cannot divide his attention and learn as much. 24 hours/365 days/4 years of college years devoted to music is what he wants. I am happy that he has a direction for his future and wants to work hard. How many of 18 years old can say that?</p>

<p>Thank you to all parents who shared their experience, knowledge, and thoughts. Your gracious and supportive comments have helped me through the grueling auditions, long waiting, and later difficult decision making time.</p>

10

<p>Octaves,
My son sounds similar to your son. He looked carefully at Oberlin and felt it would be too distracting. He is quite bright but he is also a slow processing dyslexic so although he enjoys academics, academic work does not come as easily to him as it might to others who are like him. It is going to be an interesting four years.</p>

11

<p>Remember with Oberlin, yiou can apply only to the Conservatory and take whatever courses you want in college. Most if not all of my son’s non-conservatory courses will be in math. So we have 4-5 years at Oberlin (he may get his Masters in Conducting which accounts for the 5th year) and then hopefully a five year Ph.D. fellowship in Composition. No one said it would be easy. Thanks all for the advice whether on the board or by pm. Just another 10 years of school.</p>

12

<p>My father wasn’t happy when I decided to study history 20 years ago. He wanted something more “practical”. We’ll just say it worked out great, but the commitment to grad school had to be there for my goal,and it was. But no matter what you study, a Bachelor’s degree will open many doors. A fellow history major manages a large international call center, but loves it! The job required a Bachelor’s degree of any sort and management experience, which she earned working her way up to from the initial position of customer service. Our history degree required a knowledge of Geography and excellent writing and reasoning skills-- perfect for her job. Music majors work extra hard, just watching my daughter in HS, and even if dreams change in college knowledge is gained that can be used in many ways.</p>

13

<p>The FIL’s attitude is common, more and more education is seen as being job training rather then being something to get someone to think, to move ahead, to mature. It is understandable, especially as the economy changes and is spluttering, to look at it as getting a career that ‘pays well’. This has been a fundamental dilemma for a long time, about being the ‘cog in the machine’ versus doing something you are passionate about, ton of stories most people can tell who, for example, went into the family business because of pressure, or became a doctor, lawyer, banker or whatever and hated it.My dad was big on being an engineer (he was one, my brother is), my sister was an English major, I sort of split the difference with comp sci.</p>

<p>What that leaves out is quite frankly that even with ‘directly transferrable skills’, like an accounting degree or comp science degree, kids coming out of school don’t know all that much. Even where, for example, you have learned Java programming in college, the kinds of things you learn are basic tools, some of which is not really used much in the real world (courses like analysis of algorithms, theory of computation, are great if you plan on getting a Phd and teaching, in the real world, doesn’t do much), plus you have to learn what systems in ‘the real world’ are like, real applications design and coding is very different then what you do in comp sci classes. Kids majoring in business come out and find out what the books taught and what goes on is very different…the point being that you end up being judged on what and how you learn the stuff once you are out there. </p>

<p>And obviously with music it is a tough haul, as it is in most of the arts or performing, it has a lot less defined career path. One of the ideas I spend a lot of time resisting is this incredible idea that someone can’t try things, can take risks, that any mistake is fatal, that you can’t have a mess up or two along the way, and that is sad. Entrepeneurs have many failures, Edison and his team tried thousands of materials before finding something for the incandescent light bulb, Sony spent almost 20 years trying to get the home video recorder to work. With music, it is like you shouldn’t even try, because after all, getting a ‘good’ job is next to impossible (in a major orchestra, soloist, top level teacher). It leaves out that music students aren’t dummies, what they take is academically pretty rigorous (put it this way, my son takes relatively high level theory classes, has a lot of kids who are the 2300+ SAT/4.0 unweighted GPA/AP types in them, and they struggle with it), it teaches skills academic classes don’t (how about dealing with difficult colleagues? <em>lol</em>) and so forth. </p>

<p>Yes, you do have to have the passion to go into music, because it is tough sledding, and yes even at Juilliard significant percentages of the graduates, a lot more then a simple majority, end up not doing music as a career, but so what? One of the things that makes life interesting is our ability to re-invent ourselves, to do different things; corporate types drop out of the rat race to open a bakery, someone trained as a lawyer ends up teaching kids…</p>

<p>Sometimes the hardest part of being the parent of a music kid isn’t the process, that it as nebulous and confusing at times as being lost in a maze, it is what well meaning but nonetheless judgmental people say…</p>

14

<p>musicprnt, so totally agree. If I hear “so what’s her Plan B” one more time …with that dismissive tone. Now at least we get to say she is supporting herself with her music. But we always believed she would work out what she needed and that “in for dime in for dollar” full immersion was the appropriate path for her to give her the best shot at her dreams. If it doesn’t work out she has a college degree and she can find another branch in the path.</p>

15

<p>Thanks musicprnt. You are so right and I also feel the way you do, which is why we have supported our son as he pursues his dream. Singersmom07…I am with you on the Plan B comments. On the other hand one of the boy’s from our town is graduating from Mcgill and according to his mom he is doing great already as a teacher, but also he just got a job for next year with Cirque Du Soleil.</p>

16

<p>Wow, musicprnt! What a great post! I couldn’t agree more. As I hear the negative comments and the questions about what is Plan B, it’s hard not to start doubting myself about the path that my H and I are enabling our kids to pursue. Thanks for the reaffirmation that it is not the end of the world if it doesn’t “work out,” so to speak, that there are skills that are transferable, and in fact, most people don’t end up having a career in their undergraduate major anyway, and many even make a career change after a graduate degree. There is no guarantee with any career path. I have assured myself all along this journey that this is ok, because if it their passion, they need to follow that first. If they don’t end up with a career in music, so be it. If we didn’t allow them to pursue their passion, it would be crushed forever.</p>

<p>My kids have role models who are people they know who are all making their livings happily pursing music. One of them is a trombone player who is currently on a world tour with a recent Grammy-winning band. Another is cobbling together teaching at the local university, the jazz band at my son’s school, and lots of performing with his various bands locally in our state and in NYC. A couple own recording studios in addition to doing their own performing. There are others, as well. Now, they may eventually tire of the pace and want jobs that are more settled, but they’ve certainly had a great go of it, and it will be interesting to see what happens next.</p>

<p>As for me, I was a history major, and my career has had absolutely nothing to do with history. Does that mean that majoring in history was worthless? Of course not, because it gave me a bachelor’s degree and a general foundation as a well-educated person from which I could learn the more specific job-related skills later on. In my work, I have a colleague who has an MM in piano performance from CCM. He has absolutely no regrets about that even though he has a job in a totally unrelated business field. Not only does he have a skill in playing the piano that no one else he knows in his day-to-day world can match, but all of the transferable skills he gathered along the way are relevant in some way to his non-music career.</p>

17

<p>Just think how much poorer we as a society would be if our artsy kids did not follow their passions.</p>

18

<p>^^^Absolutely! Time to read (or re-read) Karl Paulnack’s speech to the Boston Conservatory parents and students:
[Karl</a> Paulnack to the Boston Conservatory Freshman Class From the Top Green Room](<a href=“http://greenroom.fromthetop.org/2009/03/11/karl-paulnack-to-the-boston-conservatory-freshman-class/]Karl”>http://greenroom.fromthetop.org/2009/03/11/karl-paulnack-to-the-boston-conservatory-freshman-class/)</p>

19

<p>I was listening to an interview with a famous actor on NPR (don’t recall who) and he said that if you really want to be in the arts, you should not have something else to fall back on, because it is sometimes so tough, that if you have another option, you will take it.</p>

20

<p>Thanks for that inclusion sopranomom92. What a great speech.</p>